


The Mirror Has Two Faces

by LadyBayba_ReyloGoddess



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Last Jedi (2017), Star Wars: The Last Jedi - Fandom
Genre: A flirt-off?, Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Caught red handed, Chai tea lattes are a bonding experience, Challenge Accepted!, Cunnilingus, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Food Porn, Ice cream means I want you, Marriage of Convenience, Mentions of Cancer, Mentions of past drug use, Naked Female Clothed Male, Oral Sex, Romance, Slow Burn, This isn’t going to go the way you think, Uncle Luke is a goat milk farmer?, the smut has finally arrived, they are fooling nobody but themselves
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-30
Updated: 2019-02-12
Packaged: 2019-06-18 14:37:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 73,171
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15488043
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyBayba_ReyloGoddess/pseuds/LadyBayba_ReyloGoddess
Summary: Rey has her life in order. She owns a cafe across from a prestigious university (which is convenient because she eventually wants to go back to school and get a degree.) She also has a great group of friends but it's hard being single when all your friends are happily married. But she’s never really been that great at relationships anyway.As the English Professor at Skywalker U, Ben Solo is not known for being the most pleasant teacher on campus. What does he have to be happy about? He doesn't really talk to his family, his only friends are his poetry books and his relationships never seem to pan out due to his inability to connect with people.When these two lonely souls meet, there is an instant...something between them. As Ben and Rey's bond grows stronger, they devise a plan so crazy that it just might work and they might never have to be alone again. In the end, they find that the only people they're fooling are themselves.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [diasterisms](https://archiveofourown.org/users/diasterisms/gifts).



The Mirror Has Two Faces

 

“A little more pesto mayo on that one, please Finn.”

 

Finn smeared a bit more of the spread onto the croissant before closing the sandwich and cutting it in half.

 

“You know how he gets if it’s not absolutely perfect and I’m sure you’re not going to want to come back here to make the same thing all over again after being torn a new one by ‘mister holier-than-thou’.”

 

Finn snickered at Rey as he begrudgingly wrapped the sandwich in saran and set it aside next to a fancy bottle of alkaline water and packet of rosemary flavored kettle cooked potato chips.

 

“Rey, why can’t _you_ do this delivery? He likes you better than he likes me.” He said with a plaintive look at his best friend.

 

“You’re joking, right?” Rey responded with a bemused smirk. “The only thing that man likes is the look of sheer terror on the face of a poor unsuspecting student when they get caught using their phone in the middle of one of his classes.”

 

Rey busied herself with packing up a large hand-held basket with muffins and cookies and the like to take along with the lunch orders on the off chance one of her customers was in the mood for something sweet.

 

“Besides, I’m sure you’ll want to deliver a kiss to your beloved along with his lunch.”

 

Finn’s boyfriend, Poe was the head of the Science department of the University across the street.

 

A small smile paired with an overly dramatic eye roll graced Finn’s dark features.

 

“We’ve been together for 2 years now, Rey. I assure you the honeymoon phase is over.”

 

Rey gave him a raised eyebrow and her 100-mega watt smile.

 

“Mmhmm. Then why did I catch you two making out in the back when he was _supposed_ to be helping you install the new shelving unit in the stock room?”

 

Finn turned to Rey wide eyed. His limbs stilled as he attempted to brush leftover crumbs off of his hands.

 

“You knew about that?!”

 

“Women always figure out the truth.” She said in a deadpan tone. “Now get going before mister-you-know-who calls to inquire about his organic free range roasted chicken sandwich with pesto mayo, sundried tomatoes and arugula on slightly toasted whole wheat bread that we had to substitute for a slightly toasted croissant since he decided to call in his order at the very dead end of the lunch rush and had already run out of whole wheat.” Rey went back to organizing the large handheld basket of treats.

 

“Waaaaait a minute…you want me to take this to _him_ and it’s not even the very specific exact thing he ordered? You’re out of your mind. Why didn’t you call him back and tell him we ran out?”

 

“I tried,” she explained, “but he didn’t answer. I assume he had started up his lecture already and by the time it was over and I finally got a hold of him, he might’ve been really hungry. I made a judgment call; Croissant.”

 

 “You’re too nice, Rey. Who cares if he’s hungry? Not always getting what he wants won’t kill the guy.”

 

Rey was _always_ too nice. A character flaw from birth, it both hindered and enabled her to always be the good guy in most situations, usually putting her feelings, wants and needs lastly to everybody else’s thus ensuring the happiness of those around her. If everybody else was focused on their own happiness, they wouldn’t be able to see how utterly despondent she was from the raw ache of loneliness that lay dormant on her soul like a cancer. It was because of this character flaw that Rey had never let anybody in. Never let anybody get too close or herself, too comfortable.

In the end, they would always leave. Finn and Rose were the only exception to this rule and even now, she always knew that they would move on with their lives eventually, leaving her behind. At least she’d have the knowledge that they were happy or at least she’d make damn sure that they were come hell or high water!

 

“Like I said,” Rey continued, not quite meeting Finn’s eyes. “I made a judgment call.”

 

“Okay, then here’s my judgment call.” Finn said as he divided up the orders in two.

 

“Here. You can take him _his_ along with Rose’s and I’ll take the rest of the campus orders along with Poe’s. Most of these orders are for the West Campus anyway near the science department.  That way, we’ll be able to both come back here and close up together a little early before tonight. Deal?”

 

Tonight, Rey, Finn, Poe, Rose and her husband Eric were going to meet up at Jakku’s. A local watering hole they frequented with a good happy hour and even better IPA’s.

 

“Finnnnnn” she whined, slumping over dramatically in defeat. She could certainly use that beer right about now.

 

“Like I said peanut…he likes you better than me.”

 

She couldn’t argue there. Mister ‘stick-up-his-bottom’ really hated when they screwed up his lunch order. And he also really, really didn’t seem to like Finn.

 

 

 

***

It was a beautiful end of spring day. One of those sunny, warm and vibrant days that was so, _so_ close to being _almost_ summer that Rey could feel it in her bones. The heat of the sun kissed her skin as she made her way across the street to the East Campus of the University.

 

There was a pep in her step as she closed her eyes and inhaled the tell tale scent of freshly mowed grass and honeysuckle that only summer could bring.

 

But the weather wasn’t the only thing responsible for Rey’s raised spirits. The mere fact that her best friend was about to be whisked away to a surprise trip to Europe by the man he was madly in love with only to finish the trip by proposing on the Mediterranean coast _might_ also have something to do with it. Rey never thought she could be happier for another person and nobody deserved happiness more than Finn. He was the closest to family she had ever known.  Although she was well aware that this new change would leave her once again on her own, the love that her two friends carried for one another outweighed Rey’s own fears.

 

Rey, she knew, would never get married. For one, she was well aware of her own internal struggles to realize that she might never be able to let anybody in completely enough that _they_ might want to marry _her_.  She’s not sure she would make a very good wife anyway. She felt that she was too unstable, too emotional and too up tight. Things always had to be _just_ right and she needed to be in control at all times in almost all situations that involved her mind or body. Finn on the other hand would make a fantastic spouse.  He was dependable, warm, inviting, caring and above all else; loyal. Loyalty ran thick in Finn’s veins like raw honey. Poe was a very lucky man.

 

It had been a year since she and Finn sold every last belonging they had to afford to open the café. One year next week to be exact.

Memorial Day Weekend was now the one year anniversary of the grand opening of Niima Coffee & Café. Rey and Finn couldn’t be prouder of themselves.

 

The pair had met a few years back after Rey finally saved up enough money from waiting tables in a run down tea shop in her dreary hometown in England to afford a plane ticket to The States. She backpacked around for a few months, staying in hostels and cheap budget hotels until she met Finn working under the table as a bar back in a not quite zagat-rated steak house in NYC. They became fast friends and after securing herself a permanent resident visa, she and Finn moved to New England to rent a tiny little place together, both working odd jobs until they could afford their silly dream of opening up a café and finally being in charge of their own lives.

 

However that silly dream was now a reality. It was tough in the beginning, selling every last thing they owned was a small sacrifice to make to being able to afford the down payment. The loan had been hard enough to secure, not to mention the up front costs they needed for inspections and renovations. Somehow, they were able to pull it all together in the end.

 

Sure they struggled at first, being able to afford the good blend coffee and teas and ingredients to make the best muffins and cookies but now that they were a bit more settled, they were really starting to be a well known spot in the quaint sleepy little town that housed one of New England’s most prestigious Colleges.

 

The campus of **Skywalker** **University** was massive. With green lawns sweeping across the length of the old brick early American building, landscaped with manicured gardens sprinkled with colorful perennials was that out of a story book. With its many windows that lined the buildings entrance framed by classic black shutters, it was no wonder that students from all over hurried to apply year after year based on esthetics alone.

Not to mention that it was a very good school. While it was no Yale or Harvard, Skywalker University held it’s own with its Science and English departments.

 

Rey meandered along the stone path that lead up to the main doors. She ascended the steps, pulling the grand door open and hurried inside, looking for _his_ classroom.

 

A few corridors down, a left, a right and another left, Rey stopped in front of ‘Room 111’, took a deep breath and opened the door.

 

Upon entering the room, she realized that the lecture was still in progress. Rey took the first seat by the door, placing the basket of orders at her feet and patiently waited for the dismissal of class, fidgeting just a little with an errant string on the cuff of her light green and black paisley long sleeved sundress, her soft wavy chestnut locks obscuring her face from view slightly.

 

She was always nervous when she made this delivery but today she felt even more on edge. Maybe it was because it was the last of day’s deliveries, maybe it was because it was warmer out than she realized and her dress wasn’t quite warm weather appropriate. Perhaps it was the excitement of Finn’s impending engagement or the fact that he’d be leaving for the summer to travel, leaving her to tend shop all by herself. Or maybe, _just maybe_ ,  it was all to do with the man currently pacing slowly back and forth, hands clasped tightly behind his back while addressing a class full of listless looking students whose facial expressions all read the exact same message;

 

_'Bored shitless.'_

 

Rey’s gaze wandered toward the man in questions; a hulking male figure with dark penetrative eyes and a wide mouth spoke loudly, projecting his deep baritone voice that reverberated around the room like a thunderstorm. Passionately speaking about something Rey found terribly boring.

 

_'Poetry.'_

 

He wore a black fitted cable-knit sweater with dark blue denim jeans that hugged his backside in all the right ways and finished his look with a pair of shiny black wide boots on his huge feet. Wow, he really was _big._

His face was also not too bad to look at either.

Rey still could not for the life of her understand how someone with an ornate face such as his, prominent yet slightly protruding nose, sensual full lips, smooth pale skin peppered with small beauty marks, a full head of almost shoulder length thick dark locks and a pair of pretty eyes to match could be such a raging, ginormous…

“Mister Mitaka!”

 

Rey startled at the change in his vocal octave.

 

“I thought I made it very clear that while you are in my class, that thing is to be off and put away and if I saw it, it was to then become mine to do with as I please!”

 

The dark haired, pale faced student snapped to attention in his seat, spine erect as Professor Benjamin Solo startled him out of his reverie.

 

“Well, let’s see what exactly is more important than learning about 18th Century Poetry this afternoon.”

 

Professor Solo crossed the cavernous lecture room with quick, long strides. He removed the phone from the students hand with a slight tug from the younger mans grasp and glanced at the distraction in question. An open Tumblr page with questionable fanart of the male characters from Game of Thrones in very compromising positions lay open as he looked back to the now red faced Mitaka.

 

“Hmm…it seems that if _this_ is your style, perhaps Oscar Wilde would have been a better character choice for your paper on ‘Romantic Poets Influenced by Social and Political Atmosphere’ instead of Keats.” He berated. “Although,” he continued, “I’m surprised that you weren’t a complete cliché and chose Sylvia Plath.”

 

A few _‘oohs’_ and low whistles made their way across the classroom as Mitaka was handed back his phone, his eyes averted from the taller man’s gaze.

 

 _‘…asshole.’_ Rey finished her thought.

 

The professor made his way back to front of the lecture room.

 

“On that note ladies and gentleman, that will conclude today’s lecture. Be sure to thank Mister Mitaka for making your 10 page paper now stand firmly at 15.  Anyone else caught using their phones during class will add another 5 each time. That’ll be all. Class dismissed.”

 

The room irrupted in grunts of frustration and moans of disapproval as Mitaka snatched up his belongings fast as his limbs would allow and all but sprinted out of the room before any of his fellow classmates could further verbalize their grief.

 

Rey felt sorry for the poor kid. She narrowed her hazel eyes at the cranky professor and got up out of her seat, narrowly dodging the remaining students as they hurried out of the classroom.

 

As Rey approached the front of the class, Professor Solo eyed her as he gathered his papers from the podium.

 

“Professor Solo, your lunch—“

 

“You can leave it on the desk.” He interrupted.

 

“—order.” She finished. “Okay, then.”

 

Rey went over and laid his sandwich, water and chips on his desk. Turning to leave she remembered—

 

“Oh! I forgot,” she turned to face him at the podium once more, “we were out of whole wheat so I hope you don’t mind, I put it on a croissant instead.”

Professor Solo didn’t look at her as he continued to pack up.

“Business not doing all that well?"

  
“I’m sorry?” Rey asked, thoroughly confused and slightly taken aback by the random personal question.

He glanced quickly in her direction and then returned to putting papers and the like neatly into his briefcase.

“Is business not doing well?” He inquired again.

“I assure you, business is doing just fine.” She quipped. “Why do you ask?”

“I assume that a café running out of something as simple as whole wheat bread in the middle of the afternoon during a lunch rush would have financial struggles to blame. Hence the reason for my question; is business not doing well?”

Of all the asinine, rude and downright hurtful things that has been said to her, and she’s heard her fair share of unpleasantries growing up an orphan, _this_ certainly took the cake. Or at least, offended her deeply seeing as the man was insulting the one thing in her life that gave her purpose. The one thing she worked so hard to attain. The one thing that gave her future hope! She felt the tickle of rage make its way from the tightness in her chest to the corners of her eyes.

_No! I will not cry in front of this monster!_

Who did this jackass think he was?!

“Excuse me but were you dropped on your head as an infant?” Rey seethed. 

Professor Solo’s eyes snapped up and fixed his eyes onto hers.

“I beg your pardon?” His voice monotone, Adam’s apple bouncing slightly as he answered her in slight disbelief.

“You heard me.” She enunciated each word. “Were you, or were you not, dropped on your head as an infant?”

“Look, I was only trying to—“

“Completely insult me, my business and my management skills?! I don’t know who you think you are mister high-and-mighty but I can assure you that my business is doing just fine! Splendid, actually and if you maybe just tasted it, you’d see that it was even better on a croissant than on plain old boring whole wheat and would be _even better_ with the cranberry mayonnaise instead of the pesto one. Oh! And with hickory smoked bacon…which is how the ‘Craitberry Sandwich’ comes! The sweet and the salty work brilliantly together with the buttery flakiness of the croissant and the bitter bite of the arugula but nooo you had to change it mister ‘my-way-is-better-than yours’!”

He just stared at her. His eyes reading a mixture between bewilderment and amusement with a slight hint of something else Rey couldn’t quite name. His gaze flickered down briefly to her mouth which was currently pressed into a hard line, her brows furrowed and breaths coming rapidly in and out of her freckle dusted button nose. The intimidating professor met her eyes once more.

He didn’t respond.

Rey swallowed and continued to look dead at him, refusing to lose the intense awkward staring contest they seemed to be having.

“That’s a lot of odd names you have for me.” He finally stated, his lips lifting ever so slightly at the corners.

“I could think of another one.” She returned, deadpan.

Professor Solo finally lowered his eyes to his feet and shuffled them slightly.

“Ben.” He finally offered softly.

“What?” Rey asked, annoyance clearly still at the edge of her tone.

“Ben.  My name is Ben.”

“We’ve just had a spat in the middle of your classroom over a sandwich at 1:30 pm on a Friday afternoon and now you’re telling me your name? I’ve delivered your lunch 100 times, why are you suddenly feeling the need for introductions?”

_What is wrong with this guy?!_

“Because I want to keep receiving lunch deliveries from you. And I seemed to have insulted you greatly and for that I apologize.” 

He didn’t look sorry but something in his eyes said that his words held some semblance of truth. “Plus, I can’t very well have you keep putting ‘mister’ in front of an insulting phrase as my name each and every time you address me. You’ll find that you’ll soon run out of adjectives.”

Rey looked back up at him and she saw the small smirk grace his pale features. Rey softened slightly.

“Ben.” She tasted his name in her mouth. “I’m Rey.”

“Ray? As in Ray of Sunshine?”

Rey stared at him in confusion.

“Ya know… ‘I pray for Sunshine, through a window of broken glass…’

_What was he even talking about?_

“Ronald J Chapman…The poet?” He offered like she was supposed to know who that was.

_Ah. Poetry._

“No I’m afraid I don’t know him.”

If he was disappointed, he didn’t show it.

“No it’s Rey. With an ‘E’. Like Bey-once. But with an ‘R’”. Sure her name was slightly unorthodox but what was wrong with different anyway? Besides, Rey was very used to this question.

“That’s a terrible analogy.” He half snickered, the sides of his plush lips pulling upwards slightly.

Rey shrugged but returned his halfhearted attempt at a smile with a small one of her own.

For a moment, neither of them spoke. They just stood regarding each other in an odd silence that neither of them knew how to fill.

He cleared his throat to break the tension.

“What do you have there?” He asked awkwardly, staring down at the basket she carried.

“Oh! Um, just some goodies and treats for add-ons if anybody wanted something sweet.”

“Got anything with dark chocolate? I’ve always been drawn to the dark.”

She eyed his black attire he wore that only seemed to garnish his brooding personality.

_I’m sure you have._

“I have…” Rey rifled through the basket and pulled out the one she was searching for “…dark chocolate decadence muffin, made this morning.”

“Sounds…uh…decadent.” Ben stated. A hint of something menacing trapped in that intense gaze.

Rey offered a light chuckle at his dim attempt at making up for his inexcusable behavior only moments ago.

She turned to head back toward the door but before she opened it to leave, turned around to face him once more. His eyes looked as if they had been fixed somewhere south of her shoulders but north of her heels.

Rey tossed the saran wrapped muffin to the tall man with broad shoulders, dark hair, and matching dark eyes, dressed almost all in black who caught it with ease.

“On the house ‘mister only-seems-to-eat-dark-breads-and-dark-muffins-to-match-his-dark-wardrobe-and-even-darker-soul.”

Once more, the ghost of a small smile worked its way across his lips.

“Ben.” He offered once more.

“Ben.” She repeated in acknowledgement.

He gestured toward her with his hand, still clasping the muffin.

“Nice to meet you…Reyonce.”

Rey raised an eyebrow and tried not to smile. She allowed her hazel eyes to look once more into his rich brown orbs and then slowly turned around and made her way out of the lecture hall, letting the door close softly behind her.

Once outside, the afternoon sun warmed her skin, still cool from the brick building’s over use of air conditioning, like Persephone returning from the underworld. Only instead of a pomegranate, it had been a dark chocolate, freshly baked muffin, and instead of the God of the Underworld, it was the head of the English Department of a University. Not Hades but—

_‘Ben’._


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ‘What a dick.’ Ben thought. ‘And people think I’m an asshole?’  
> He shook his head and took another sip from his frosty glass. 
> 
> Just as he was about to ask for the check, Ben’s eyes caught a familiar shape where the douchey blonde had retreated to.

The Mirror Has Two Faces

 

 

“So in conclusion, the inexorable elements of the metals are irrevocably toxic once combined!” Rose Tico sounded triumphantly as her students quickly started to tidy up their spaces in the lab just as the clock struck 2pm signaling the end of class.

 

“Don’t forget! Your term paper on ‘The Elements of Industrial Living’ is due next week.” She reminded. “Have a good weekend!”

 

A bright, bubbly, eager woman in her late twenties sat poised sitting on the lab counter with a dark gray sleeveless, knee length, light cotton dress with a jewel neckline. Her white lab coat that ran almost the same length of the dress lay open and untied.

 

With her unmistakable pin straight black hair, retro square framed eyeglasses that were a _bit_ too large for her face and her full lips painted an extreme shade of vibrant matte pink accentuating her straight white teeth; Rose Tico _really_ was the perfect combination of nerdy and hot.

 

Rey approached her as the last student shut the door, leaving them in a bubble of silence; a vast difference from the boisterous hallways of the Period 3 Science Center of the West Campus of Skywalker U.

 

“Ham and gruyere, lettuce, tomato, mayo, salt, pepper and oregano on a hard roll?” Rey held out the sandwich to her best female friend with sincere enthusiasm.

 

“Why thank you.” Rose accepted. “Looks good enough to eat and I’m _starving!_ ”

 

Rey looked at her with such fondness. Rose was absolutely, hands down, the best and most trusted feminine mind that she could ever have imagined to bestow her friendship upon.

 

They just…clicked.

 

Rey met Rose through Finn. The two of them met at a nightclub in the city when he came to Rose’s aid where he physically had to intervene on her behalf to wrench an overeager club goon off of her after she repeatedly told him ‘no’. Finn had been her hero that night and it had been quite a disappointment to learning that he preferred the company of those with a permanent 5 o’clock shadow and an affinity for tight sweaters and designer jeans. If that didn’t describe Poe in a nutshell, she didn’t know what did.

 

When Rose met Eric, he had fast taken the place that Finn once held in her heart. He swept her off her feet and they were married shortly thereafter.

 

Rey highly valued Rose’s friendship. She always knew that the _right_ girl would be quite the kindred spirit and Rose fit the bill perfectly.

 

Rose curiously squinted her eyes and studied Rey as she handed over her lunch.

 

“And where are you coming from looking downright…debauched?” Rose inquired.

 

Rey widened her eyes and waggled her eyebrows playfully.

 

“Wouldn’t _you_ like to know?”

 

Rose who had already unwrapped her lunch, took a large bite before answering, “Oh I _really_ would.”

Rose hopped off the lab counter and sauntered towards Rey, chewing up a storm, her cheeks stuffed with food like a cartoon chipmunk.

 

“No, seriously,” she swallowed, “what’s happening?” Rose’s playful curiosity shining through in her almond shaped dark brown eyes.

 

Rey retrieved a buttered roll from her basket and nibbled on it.

 

“Oh, nothing,” She vaguely attempted. “Just came from delivering Professor Solo’s lunch. He insulted me by insinuating that my café was floundering and then when I told him where to go, he offered up an apology and told me to call him ‘Ben’.”

 

Rose stopped chewing and stared at Rey in disbelief.

 

“Solo apologized for making someone feel less than human?” She pondered. “And he asked you to call him… Ben?”

 

Rey nodded slowly as she continued to pick at her bread roll.

 

“Wow. I didn’t even know he _had_ a first name.”

 

“Right? At least one that doesn’t start with the letter ‘A’ and end with word ‘hole’.” Rey giggled. She warmed from the ease of dialogue that she and Rose always seemed to find.

 

Rose moved on to the other half of her sandwich and took another overly large bite.

 

“So…are we all still on for tonight?”

 

Rey nodded enthusiastically.

 

“Of course! I wouldn’t miss out on Finn’s face when Poe tells him he’s taking him on an all expense paid trip to Europe for anything!”

 

Her beaming smile turned into a smaller one. A smile that, while heartfelt, didn’t quite reach her eyes, and was laced with a minute hint at something resembling mournfulness, which tasted bitter on her tongue.

 

“I’m so happy for the two of them.” Rey looked at Rose. “For the two of _you_.”

 

“I’d like to be happy for the three of us.” Rose said plainly with a sad smile.

 

Rey’s face fell further but covered it up by furrowing her brows and smirking, letting a breathy laugh escape her nose.

 

“It’s just not in the cards for me.” She said as if on autopilot.

 

“Why do you always say that? It’s not true, Rey. I know you. I _know_ that’s not how you really feel. You want a family! You’ve been searching for a family since the moment yours left you on the doorstep of that orphanage.”

 

Rey internally recoiled from her words but pushed it down. She didn’t like to talk about her past. Not even with Rose.

 

“You could have that, if you wanted.”

 

Rey smiled sadly at her best friend.

 

“You’re right. I’ll try harder.” Rey lied, determined to end this conversation.

 

“You don’t have to try harder, Rey. Maybe just start by dating someone, _anyone_ other than Matt.” Rose spat his name out of her mouth like she was spitting out spoilt milk.

 

_‘Ahh, Matt.’_

Matt was a guy Rey casually dated from time to time when she felt herself start to wallow too deeply in her feelings.

 

They had met six months ago at a singles mixer in town. He was a radar technician for Empire Electric and Power, owned his own car, his own trendy loft apartment downtown and he made very sure to make it known to everybody he met that he came from a few towns over where everyone had a big house, a big yard and an even bigger ego. In other words, Matt didn’t really _have_ to work.

 

The night they met he had been funny and oddly charming. However as time drew on, Rey noticed that his social awkwardness which had the potential to be endearing was sullied by his rowdy out of place temper. He was always very nice to her but from time to time, his true colors would show. He was pretentious without being overtly haughty but somehow lacked warmth while simultaneously attempting to be affectionate. He usually didn’t possess the knowledge to back up heated discussions he would _always_ seem get into with people, if they even deigned to disagree with his opinions on any given mundane subject. He was tall with a slightly long nose and face, nice lips and a decent build. His brown eyes were nice but they always seemed a bit empty which looked incongruous with his bold blonde coif. All the little bits of him just came together but just didn’t really make sense. What else could Rey say about Matt?

 

He was just…odd.

 

Odd and _nobody_ liked him. Well, nobody except Rey and even she had to admit that he was starting to wane nettlesome on her last nerve.

 

But he was there and he was a warm body in her bed and he helped chase away the loneliness.

 

“Eric has a lot of friends! I told you about that guy from the accounting firm. He thought you were really pretty when he met you at the annual spring picnic last month.”

 

“Maybe.” Rey said, toeing absentmindedly at a scuff on the worn wood floors of the classroom.

 

Rose rolled her eyes as she swallowed her last bit of lunch and tossed the saran in the garbage. She grabbed her belongings as she hooked her arm into the crook of Rey’s and started to escort them both out of the sterile lab.

 

“So…what are we drinking tonight?”

 

 

***

 

It was busier then normal for a Friday night. The warmer nighttime weather started to bring people out of the woodwork later and later as the spring transitioned into summer.

 

Rose and Eric sat at a table huddled at the back of the bar. Rose waved her hands emphatically when she saw Rey’s face surface from a crowd of skinny jean wearing hipsters, her face melting into a mask of annoyance as she recognized the man accompanying Rey as non other than Matt.

 

As they reached the table and set down their belongings, Rey looked pointedly at Rose.

 

“Behave.” She whispered in a light tone.

 

Rose subtly rolled her eyes and turned to face Matt who was staring up at the ceiling, his mouth lolling open and breathing through his nose, his blonde mop falling perfectly to one side.

 

“Hey there, Matt.” Rose attempted.

 

Matt continued to look up, not answering her attempt at the not quite friendly greeting. Matt finally looked down at the tiny woman and immediately looked back up and over her head at the man standing behind her.

 

“Eric. Sup, bro.” He reached out to shake his hand.

 

“Matt, how are ya?” Eric politely gripped the blondes hand and gave it a quick shake.

 

“Oh yah know. Just seeing how they run the wiring to this place. Those wires look old”, he pointed upwards to where his gaze had been lingering. “I should have a look, could be a new potential customer after I report the outdated wiring to the city.” He said with a watery wink toward them.

 

Rose looked like she was about to uppercut his throat.

 

“Matt, why don’t you go grab us a drink?” Rey intervened.

 

Matt smiled down at Rey.

 

“A dirty martini for my dirty girl?” Rey looked at him dumbfounded. Why had she invited him?!

 

 _‘So you wouldn’t be solo in a sea of doubles.’_ She reminded herself.

 

“A beer will be fine, thanks.”

 

Matt snickered and gave her butt a quick grope as he walked away toward the bar.

 

She turned to meet the eyes of incredulous looking Rose.

 

“Really.” She said deadpan.

 

“I know, Rose. Okay? I get it. He’s a douche. But there was _no_ way I was coming tonight without a date and being the fifth wheel _again_! Besides, I’ll need a date for the wedding after this all goes down.”

 

“I hope you’re not talking about bringing radar-reject to my wedding. Please, Rey!  I’m begging you. If you bring that guy, I’m gonna kill myself.”

 

Poe announced as he stepped up behind them into the conversation having finally arrived. “Or ya know.... I’m just gonna elope.” He said, taking down the dramatics a notch.

 

“Poe!” Rey exclaimed and pulled him into a tight hug. “Where’s Finn?”

 

“Getting us a drink. Man, I could sure use one. I’m so nervous, I’m sweating everywhere! My forearms are sweating. Who sweats on their forearms?!”

 

“Poe…breath.” Rose said, giving him her glass of gin and tonic which he thankfully took from her hands and knocked back in one gulp.

 

“Thanks. I needed that.” He said with a grimace at the strong taste of bitter pine tree. Poe hated Gin.

 

“Why are you nervous? Do you think he’s gonna say no to going away with you? Because that’s not possible.” Rey inquired.

 

“No. I’m nervous because this is the first step of the final step in unifying our relationship and I want everything to be perfect.” Poe said, looking around the bar and doing a quick scan for Finn’s whereabouts. “Plus, I’m gonna give a speech and I’m already dreading it.”

 

“Why?” Eric finally piped up, casually taking a sip of his Corona. “You love hearing yourself speak.”

 

Poe went to playfully bat at the head of the other man standing with them. Eric pulled back just in time with a smile on his face.

 

Rose swatted her husband’s chest in Poe’s honor.

 

“Oh Christ, what’s Forest Gump doing here?” Poe asked with a roll of his eyes, looking pointedly at Rey after having spotted Matt at the bar.

 

“God, does _everybody_ dislike him?” Rey asked exasperatedly.

 

 **“Yes!”** they all responded loudly in unison.

 

Rey made a face of mock surprise. “Okay, geeze. No need to shout.” Rey said, a small smile working its way across her face as they all started to laugh.

 

“Seriously Rey, if you don’t dump that guy I’m gonna have to revert to more dire methods of sabotage.” Poe stated firmly.

 

Rey gasped at him. “You wouldn’t dare!”

 

“Oh, I dare. I have that picture on my phone. Don’t think I won’t show him.”

 

She knew exactly what picture he was referring to. A year ago, the gang had gone to Washington to march for cleaner energy, dressed up head to toe black sequence to look like solar panels. Each of them sporting a word across their chests reading the phrase ‘JOIN THE **LIGHT** SIDE…’ and on Finn’s chest it simply said ‘WE HAVE COOKIES!’

 

Rey was sure Matt wouldn’t quite appreciate her feelings on the environment. Global warming was just a myth, after all...to Matt, at least.

 

“Poe, you let Rey do this her way! If she’s not ready to break up with Matt, don’t pressure her!” Rose said in Rey’s defense.

 

“Okay, okay. But I’m telling you. Nip it in the bud soon. That guy is seriously starting to irk me.”

 

Rey looked down, not wanting to talk about this with Poe right here, right now.

 

“Besides…" Rey looked back up at Poe. "You deserve someone who loves you and treats you with respect. Someone who puts their arms around you just because and not just because you’re ass looks great in those jeans.”

 

 Poe’s expression read playful but Rey’s eyes were emotional.

 

“I know. Thank you.” She said with a little smile at his less than subtle compliment.

 

Poe winked at her and turned around just as Matt and Finn returned from the bar with their significant other’s drinks.

 

 

***

Ben Solo sat at the bar nursing his beer, avidly avoiding the couple _clearly_ on a first date to his left and the two barely legal sorority girls to his right, talking non-stop about how the bartender waiting on them was ‘ _hot AF_.’

 

Ben rolled his eyes and took a sip of his beer. Why did he insist on coming here for a drink? He should have gone straight home after his relentless afternoon of grading term papers which were all, not to his surprise, less then stellar. He could be home sipping beer in the comfort of his own home on his own couch and not being bothered by the idle conversations of those surrounding him. Not to mention maybe getting some more work done.

 

No, fuck that.

 

He deserved a break. Ben worked too long and too hard to not enjoy a fucking beer at a bar by himself. Work could wait.

 

Ben began to people watch, looking around the bar at its pedestrian inhabitants.

 

Groups and singles alike milled in and out of the bar, ordering their drinks and walking back to their tables, some waiting to place their orders. A tall-ish man on the other end of the bar with ghastly yellow hair was yelling something in a threatening tone about taking too long to be served as the bartender placed two drinks on the bar in front of him. When the bartender turned away, ignoring his griping, the blonde in the tight orange tee shirt snatched back the bartenders tip and roughly shoved it in his pocket, a string of curses exploding from his sneered mouth which fell on deaf ears. He grabbed the drinks and made his way to the group of people at the back of the bar.

 

 _‘What a dick.’_ Ben thought. _‘And people think I’m an asshole?’_

He shook his head and took another sip from his frosty glass.

 

Just as he was about to ask for the check, Ben’s eyes caught a familiar shape where the douchey blonde had retreated to.

 

In a back corner of the dark bar of Jakku’s, a petite girl with wavy brown hair and a wide toothy grin threw her head back and laughed as she was handed her drink.

 

He watched her as she danced with a small group of friends, her hips casually swaying back and forth, slightly off rhythm. Ben watched as she went up to different members of her group and laughed and hugged and sipped her drink. He watched as she took out lip gloss and reapplied it to her pout, softly rubbing her peachy pink lips together in an attempt to ensure it was evenly distributed. He watched as she shrank back as her friends carried on, not seeing the look of sadness that crossed her features, a look of complete loneliness that Ben recognized very well. He watched her turn away from the group slightly and wipe an errant tear away from the corner of her eyes quickly with the back of her hand before anybody noticed.

 

And then, his breath sped up and his heartbeat started to pound a staccato rhythm in his chest as Ben watched her eyes slowly look up from the floor and stare straight into his from across the bar.

 

_‘Rey.’_

The noise of the bar roared and thumped to the tune of a warm Friday night. People ordered drinks and bar food and danced and sang along with a repetitive Journey song blaring loudly over the base rattled speakers.

 

But between the two staring at each other from across the bar, unbeknownst to anyone else, time stopped and everything around them faded away into a blur of motion and white noise.

 

Like they were the only two people in the room. Like the world had stopped spinning on it's axis and they were the only ones left still standing. Like two souls that had been searching for eternity, finally finding each other across space and time. Like it was just the two of them.

 

_‘It’s just us now.’_

 

And just like that, the music stopped. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> KUDOS ARE COOL, COMMENTS ARE AWESOME!!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> From behind her, Matt wrapped his arms too tightly around Rey’s waist; his lips pressing wet against her throat, leaving a string of spittle in her hairline. Rey moved her head away from him as if her brain was literally trying to run away from the man that was attached to her back half like a slug stuck slick on a rock. She tried to ignore his ill-timed and too fast paced rocking back and forth to the music with her trapped in his embrace as Poe tried to be romantic… 
> 
> And got down on one knee…

The Mirror Has Two Faces

 

 

“Okay everyone; can I have all eyes on me, please?” Poe stood on a chair and beckoned the attention of the now slightly tipsy group.

 

Rey gazed at the man across the bar for a few more seconds before finally wrenching her eyes off of his face and turned to watch Poe climb off of his make-shift stage and take Finn’s hand.

 

When Rey glanced back toward Ben, he was looking down at his phone, the moment gone and reality and time moving at a normal pace once again.

 

“If I could just have everybody’s attention for just a second,” Poe again tried to garner the focus of his friends. “I want to take a moment to thank you all for coming out tonight. And before you ask, _no_ , I am not paying your bar tab.”

 

“Booooooo!” Eric shouted; his hand cupped to the side of his mouth to throw his voice in the crowded space. Eric liked how gelastic Poe could be and usually took every opportunity to antagonize him.

 

Poe blatantly ignored his friends attempt to goad him and tried to be serious.

 

“I want to just take a minute to say, out loud, how incredibly fortunate I am.” He addressed the darker male, “Every day I get to wake up with the knowledge that I am lucky enough to have this wonderful, handsome man in my life.”

 

If it were possible, Finn would have blushed scarlet. Sensing his bashfulness, Poe continued with his public onslaught of emotional outpouring.

 

“He is the best thing in my life and the best man I have ever known.”

 

From behind her, Matt wrapped his arms too tightly around Rey’s waist; his lips pressing wet against her throat, leaving a string of spittle in her hairline. Rey moved her head away from him as if her brain was literally trying to run away from the man that was attached to her back half like a slug stuck slick on a rock. She tried to ignore his ill-timed and too fast paced rocking back and forth to the music with her trapped in his embrace as Poe tried to be romantic…

And got down on one knee…

 

Rose’s eyes widened as she reached out to grasp at Rey’s wrist as an attempt to steady herself.

 

“Finn,” Poe looked up at his beloved handsome, shocked face. “From the moment I met you I had a feeling about you. From the first time I heard your voice, felt the touch of your hand.”

 

The bar went silent and conversations lulled as little by little, people around them started to turn to the couple that was now poised in a very recognizable position.

 

 _‘Was this really happening?_ ’ Rey stared at them with wide eyes and her mouth agape.

 

_‘Was Poe actually proposing right here, right now in their local watering hole over a plate of buffalo wings, the sounds of pool balls breaking and darts thudding against their target as background nose in front of all of their friends?’_

 

“Since the moment I swiped right and we agreed to meet,” he said, receiving some chuckles in the audience. Poe himself couldn’t help but smile at the omission. “Since that moment, your soul has touched mine. It calls to me.” Finn reached out with a trembling hand and touched the stubble of Poe’s cheek; his other still holding tightly to Poe’s. “We met right here in this very bar in this very spot. You smiled at me and I was smitten. And like hylouronic acid calls to a water molecule,”

 

Rose clutched at her heart and sounded a small ‘ _aww’_ at the chemistry reference.  

 

“I will always gravitate toward your kind smile, your welcoming arms and your beautiful heart.”

 

A tear slipped down Poe’s cheek. The hand that still caressed his face, tracing a thumb along the damp trail it left in its wake.

 

“I love you, Finn.” He said, his voice trembling slightly. Poe reached into his back pocket and produced a simple silver ring and held it up as a gesture to Finn whose eyes were also swimming with tears. “I want to spend the rest of my life with you by my side. Will you marry me?”

 

Finn tugged gently on Poe’s hand in a silent request to stand.

 

“I love you, babe.” Is all Finn could muster, his throat tight with emotion.

 

“Is that a yes?” Poe asked, his eyes hoping…hoping…

 

“Yes.”

 

A huge grin spread across Poe’s face as he took Finn’s large warm hand in his and slipped the band onto his finger, his other hand slowly working it’s way up Finn’s neck until it lightly grasped the side of his cheek and pulled him toward his waiting lips.

 

The bar erupted in a whirlwind of applause and whistles as Rey wretched herself out of Matt’s grasp and threw herself at the newly betrothed.

 

“You devil, Poe!” Rey smiled and hugged Finn and then Poe and then Finn again. “I thought you were going to propose in Italy!”

 

“Italy?!” Finn asked, thoroughly confused.

 

Rey covered her mouth with a gasp.

 

Rose and Eric were next as they hugged the other two men at random. Eric and Poe hugged awkwardly, making sure to let everyone around them know that their hug was very bro appropriate, complete with a closed fisted back pound. Rose giggled like a school girl as Rey still sat there with her hand covering her big stupid mouth.

 

“Poe, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to—I mean I hope I didn’t…”

 

“Not to worry, Rey. I was just getting to that part.” Poe beamed at her.

 

“Babe, what are you saying?” Finn inquired.

 

“So that was my next surprise. Not only are we getting married, we’re eloping to Italy to _get_ married on my great grandparents’ vineyard.”

 

 **“What?!”** Finn, Rey, Rose and Eric exclaimed in unison.

 

“Yup!” Poe confirmed. “We’ll have a private ceremony there and then have the summer to travel across Italy, Spain and France before coming back here to have one big kick ass party with all our friends and family.”

 

Finn continued to stare at Poe like he wasn’t real.

 

“I mean—that is… if that’s what you want. I though maybe it would be romantic but if that’s not what you had in mind, if it’s not what you want, we can—“

 

Finn interrupted him by grabbing his face and pushing him against the nearest wall starting a full on steamy make out session with his fiancé.

 

The three remaining friends turned away awkwardly and looked anywhere but at the hot and heavy couple currently displaying a massive amount of affection towards one another. Rey swore she heard their teeth clank.

 

“So… Another round?” Eric suggested.

 

In silent agreement, Rose, Eric and Rey made their way up to the bar, Matt trailing behind them, once again glancing upward to mull over the wires in the ceiling.

 

 

***

Ben’s heartbeat was still erratic even moments after Rey’s eyes left his.

 

_‘What was that?! Why was it that every time she looked at him, it felt like she knew something he did not? Something dark…and exciting, something raw and undefined…’_

Ben shook his head in an attempt to clear it and ordered another beer. Once served, he got up and made his way toward the back of the bar to see what had distracted Rey.

 

When he came around the corner, he saw Professor Poe Dameron on his knees, professing his love for another man. 

 

‘ _Huh. I didn’t even know that Dameron was gay.’_

Not that it mattered. Straight or gay, he was still annoyingly charismatic, overly charming and no matter how you sliced it, a little too cocky for his liking.

 

Still, all things aside, the man looked…happy. Poe Dameron looked at ease in the arms of his lover, completely in love and just plain, obnoxiously _happy_.

 

True happiness was something that Ben had never experienced with another person.  Ben could barely tolerate people, much less one person in particular long enough to want to deal with whatever solidified a couple becoming…well…a couple. Relationships just weren’t something Ben was good at.

 

Sex on the other hand…

 

Sex was something that Ben had always taken a keen interest in. Not just because sex was sex but because sex was his way of letting the other person get close. Physical closeness was the only thing Ben could offer another person that wasn’t too emotionally messy. In whatever ‘relationships’ he’d been in, sex was usually what masqueraded as intimacy for him. It was his way of showing that he cared, his idea of closeness and affection. Of course when that faded or the relationship became too complicated or broken, he was usually the first one to throw in the towel.

 

Ben was good at a lot of things but fixing broken things and waiting out the bad times was not one of them.

 

 _‘Whatever. Good for them.’_ Ben thought, taking one last look at Rey and made his way back to the bar.

 

 

***

An hour or so passed and so had a few rounds.

  
The newly engaged couple eventually came to join their friends, happily partaking in the merriment that had started going on without them.

 

They laughed and they danced and they drank, raising their cups in a silent toast to a night they would always look back on.

 

Little by little the crowds slowly started to dwindle as the night came to a close and last call was signaled by the quick flashing of lights, the rapid change of dim and then bright an intrusive and irritating contrast.

 

“We’re taking off!’ Finn said with a small sly smile on his face. “Gotta get home and feed B.B and I think it’s time I get this big lug home to—umm—“

 

“Celebrate properly?” Rey said knowingly, finding the words for him.

 

B.B was Poe’s orange tabby that reminded her more of a machine that ate everything in sight rather than an ordinary cat. B.B was the _other_ love of Poe Dameron’s life.

 

Finn smiled warmly at his friend and hugged her tight. Poe followed suit, leaning in a little too much in his inebriated state, successfully almost knocking her over.

 

“We’re out too.” Rose announced shortly after. “Are you good getting home?”

 

“Yeah, I’ll go home with Matt.” Rey said, half wishing that she hadn’t invited him so she could go home with Rose and Eric, claiming their couch as her bed. Something Rey had done numerous times in the past whenever Finn decided to spend the night at Poe’s.

 

“I’ll be fine.” Rey lied.

 

Rose glared at Matt who was currently taking his umpteenth shot of whiskey. She hurriedly looked back at her friend.

 

“You sure?”

 

“Yeah.” She answered. “Yeah, I’m good.” Matt came up again behind Rey and wrapped his arms around her but this time, went straight for a boob grab, not even bothering to play coy.

 

Rose stared at Matt with a disgustedly sour look on her face.

 

“Goodnight, Rey.” She said loudly still looking pointedly at Matt. Rose turned, grabbed an unsuspecting Eric by the arm and made to exit the bar.

 

“BYE, ROSE!” Matt yelled after her, attempting to goad her into a reaction.

 

She was so tiny that she was completely drowned out by the sea of people exiting the bar. The only thing they saw was a tiny fist come flying up out of the crowd to flip him off.

 

Matt laughed sardonically at the feisty woman’s fury before roughly turning Rey to face him, going in for a kiss that felt more like a tongue bath. He squatted down to her height and grasping at every bit of skin he could get his drunken hands on, his feeble attempts at wooing her only making her more and more uninterested. Rey turned away from his lips and wrenched his hands off of her and placed them firmly to his side and held them there.

 

“Alright there, Don Juan, I think it’s time for some water.”

 

“Fuck water, let’s get another drink.”

 

“I think you’ve had enough.”

 

“Nah, one more!” He announced, throwing up his index finger in the air as he circled around to return to the bar.

 

Rey stood there feeling thoroughly tense and looking clearly annoyed. She knew she should have left with Rose but she couldn’t very well leave Matt to get home by himself in the state he was in. He could barely even stand up straight. Besides, the thought of going home to her empty apartment now that Finn was most likely sleeping at Poe’s turned her stomach. Rey would rather take her chances with an overly handsy, mono-syllabic drunken douche bag than go home and face the reality of the fact that she was the last remaining singleton in her group of friends and would now most likely be destined to remain the fifth wheel for all eternity.

 

“You were right.”

 

Rey whipped around and came face to face with the lovely deep voice that interrupted her spiraling train of thought. Her face lit up.

 

“I’m sorry?” She said.

 

“The sandwich,” he answered. “You were right. It was _way_ better on the croissant. I’ll have to try it the way you said; with the berries and the bitter lettuce.”

 

Rey threw her head back and laughed and Ben swore he had never heard a more beautiful sound in all his life.

 

“Cranberry mayo and arugula.” She corrected.

 

“Ah.” Ben said. “Well either way, I’d love to try it sometime.”

 

“Well, we’re open 6 days a week, 7am-4pm. Stop in any time.” She bumped his frame with her shoulders meekly. “I’ll even throw in another chocolate decadence muffin.”

 

A moment passed and then;

 

“I’ll do that.”

 

And there it was again. That… _stare_ of his. Why did she feel like every time they made eye contact, he was pulling her darkest thoughts from somewhere deep inside of her; some far away memory or deep seeded secret that she had hidden away? And most of all, why did she want more than anything to just hand it over like it belonged to him?

 

The look he gave her was the same one she had first encountered this afternoon in his classroom. The one that he had given her across the bar only an hour ago, the one that he was giving to her now in rich, copious amounts.

 

It was a stare that unnerved her with feelings she couldn’t quite place and absolutely refused to acknowledge. It was a stare that made her face feel warm; a warmth that had absolutely nothing to do with alcohol.

 

Rey returned his gaze with raw openness, allowing her eyes to wander to that thick head of raven hair. For a brief moment, she wondered how soft it’s texture would be. What it would be like to touch it and run her fingers through it. If he would lean into her touch, if his eyes would flutter closed. She imagined both hands in his hair, tugging softly. His lips parting, his large hands grabbing at her hips, feeling content and safe wrapped up in the circumference of his embrace...

 

The shattering of a glass against the floor broke their focus on each other again for the second time that evening.

 

“What the fuck do you mean you refuse to serve me? Do you even know who the fuck I am and where I come from?!”

 

“I don’t care who you are, you’re wasted buddy. Now get the hell out of here! We have the right to refuse anyone if they seem too intoxicated. And you’re gonna have to pay for that glass you smashed, asshole.”

 

“Why don’t you come on this side of the bar and say that!” Matt spit at the bartender. “Come over here and say that to my face!”

 

Ben and Rey approached the now enraged blonde, Rey placing her hands on Matt’s chest, urging him to back away from the bar.

 

“Matt! Matt, lets go home.” Rey turned to the bartender and mouthed a silent apology.

 

“This mother fucker thinks I’m too drunk to be served!”

 

“You _are_ too drunk to be served.” Ben stated matter-of-factly.

 

Matt turned toward Ben and regarded the other man. They both silently sized each other up…which was hard to do. They were both almost the exact same size… and height…

 

They both had a similar build and similar eyes…

 

‘ _Ben’s are way prettier.’_ Rey thought.

Did she just think Ben’s eyes were pretty?! Maybe she _had_ had too much to drink.

 

By now, Ben and Matt were almost chest to chest.

 

“You wanna say that again, jerk face?”

 

“In what language would you like me to repeat it back to you in?” Ben spoke calmly, looking listless and almost bored. “You’ve been told by three people now that you’re cut off and you still don’t seem to comprehend it so I don’t know what good repetitiveness will do for you.”

 

Matt shoved the dark haired man away from him violently. Ben was caught off guard and crashed right into Rey, whose small frame toppled fast to the floor with a loud ‘oohmph’, landing on her bottom.

 

“Rey, Are you okay?” Ben asked concerned, reaching for her hand to help her up. Before she could accept his offer, the blonde bellowed, “Get away from my girlfriend!” and that’s when Matt charged and tackled Ben hard to the ground.

 

Rey scrambled to her feet and immediately went over to the two men wrapped in a tussle on the sticky floor. She reached down and tugged at Matt’s shoulders in a feeble attempt to pry him off of Ben, the distraction allowing Ben’s elbow to come in contact none to gently with Matt’s mouth.

 

Thankfully, the bartender that had been arguing with Matt earlier and the bouncer used their brute strength to put a stop to the brawl before it got out of hand.

 

“Alright, you’re outta here!”

 

And with that, the two men threw Matt out the front doors of Jakku.

 

“I’m so sorry!” Rey said as Ben removed himself from the floor, dusting himself off and righting himself on his feet once again. “I don’t know what’s gotten into him.”

 

“I’m gonna guess about 4 beers, 5 shots and about 30 years of self entitlement.”

 

Rey tried her hardest not to smile; failing ever so slightly as she turned and exited the bar to go check on Matt as Ben made his way to the bar to close out his tab.

 

 

***

 

 

Outside the bar, Matt nursed his now bleeding upper lip with the back of his hand, huffing and puffing and outright refusing to look at Rey as she walked calmly towards him.

 

“Let me see.” She said simply. He swatted her hand away as she attempted to reach for him. Rey sighed.

 

“You have nobody to blame but yourself.” She said. “You always do this.”

 

Matt said nothing as he continued to sway from side to side, half closing one eye to focus on his phone to summon an Uber.

 

“Yeah well, maybe you should join me sometime.” Matt said, now looking her dead in the face, his voice dripping with distain. “Would it kill you to loosen up once in a while? It might be a nice break from being such a closed-minded, judgmental bitch all the time.” He spat at her.

 

Her eyes welled with tears and she turned to walk away from him but Matt grabbed her by the arm and whipped her back around.

 

“Where the fuck do you think you’re going?”

 

The Uber pulled up alongside them, Matt quickly opening the door, almost pulling it off the hinges. He motioned for her to get in the car, manhandling her toward the back seat of the vehicle. “Get in!”

 

“No, I’m going home. I’d rather be alone than be in the same _zip code_ as you!”

 

Ben exited the bar with the last of the patrons, putting his wallet away. Spotting the foul blonde grasping a struggling Rey, he stalked his way over toward them, a murderous look on his face, anger emanating from his very core.

 

“You think you can just walk away from me?” Matt gripped her arm even tighter. Hard enough to bruise, hard enough to _scare_ her.

 

“Let go of me, you’re hurting me!”

 

“Listen you little bitch, you’re getting in this car right fucking—“

 

Out of nowhere, Ben’s fist came flying from Matt’s left but before it could make contact with his face, Rey had cocked her fist back and punched Matt square in the nose with a sickeningly loud crunch.

 

“Fuck!” Matt howled, finally letting go of Rey to cup his face with both hands.

 

“A word of advice, _Matt_ ,” She spat his name like a cuss. “Never grab a girl from the streets if you know what’s good for you.” She looked at him with her eyes narrowed. “Oh! And never, _ever_ call me again.” Rey said with finality.

 

She turned on her heels and started the long walk back to her lonely apartment as Matt shot a barrage of expletives at her as he managed to climb into the Uber and left.

 

Ben stood there looking stunned and… actually, really impressed! This girl had completely surprised him and taken care of herself in a time of crisis. She was tough and scrappy and damn it if he didn’t think it was sexy as hell.

 

He glanced at his watch and thought about calling an Uber or walking home but... Rey was walking home completely unaccompanied. If he went after her and offered to walk her home, would she be mad? Did he even have the right? He knew she could take care of herself, that much she had proven. 

 

Ben watched her walk away, slowly disappearing down the dark and narrowed cobblestone street of the small New England town by herself at 2am. He thought about watching her earlier before she had noticed his presence. How sad she looked in the small moments when nobody was paying attention. How lonely she had seemed. He thought about the tear he had seen rolling down her cheek, marring the mask of happiness she wore for those around her. A tear that nobody had seen.

 

Except him.

 

 

_‘You have compassion for her.’_

 

 

And with that, Ben Solo took off down the street after her.

 

  
 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooooo I changed a few of the tags for this story. My husband (who has basically been my beta) told me that an "arranged marriage" is a marriage that is arranged by others, usually family. I looked this up and he's correct. This is not exactly how this story is going to go so I changed the tag to "marriage of convenience". I hope I haven't put too many off with the slight change. Either way, the story will still progress the way I had always intended it to. My husband is *the best*! 
> 
> News flash, I named a character after him ;-)
> 
>  
> 
> ~*KUDOS ARE COOL BUT COMMENTS ARE FUEL!*~


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I’m guessing there isn’t anybody waiting up for you at this hour at home?” She said quickly staring down into her cup. When he didn’t answer, she looked up at him. His eyes were fixed on her face, wearing an amused expression.
> 
> “No.” He said simply. “As it turns out, I’m not very good with—“
> 
> “Women?” Rey asked, raising her brows and lifting her mug to her mouth to hide her smile.
> 
> “People.” He said with a small hint of disdain, correcting her. “I’m not very good with people.”

The Mirror Has Two Faces

A Reylo AU

 

 

Rey’s strides were fast paced as she clomped down the street toward her apartment which was located halfway across town. The comfortably cluttered yet cozy home she shared with Finn rested atop the café which certainly made her commute to work an easy one. She should have known better than to start this venture at such a late hour but her anger towards Matt and his behavior this evening gave her all the energy she needed to sustain the near two mile walk home.

 

What was she thinking? She should have broken up with Matt ages ago but that nagging, pathetic voice inside her kept reminding her that if she did, it would most certainly solidify her solitude. On the bright side, it would definitely enrich her with some much needed independence which, now that she thought about it, probably wouldn’t be such a bad thing.

 

Rey never gave herself enough credit. She was self sufficient and had gone her whole life relying on only herself. So why now that she had friends and a business and a life that she carved from the bare bones of her past did she feel this constant need for…validation?

 

 _‘Maybe because you were abandoned at a young age by the two people who were put on this earth to love you unconditionally and yet somehow you were so unlovable that they felt the need to leave you on the doorstep of the saddest cliché of an orphanage in England?’_ That nasty little voice inside Rey said, the tiniest bit of self-loathing lacing cold against her heart as it always did, every time she though of her parents.

 

She couldn’t remember them much but the things she could remember only fueled her anxiety that much more as she journeyed homeward.

 

Without warning, something gave Rey err. The skin on the back of her neck prickled and she felt an icy stab of fear overtake her, despite the warm spring night.

 

She was being followed.

 

Rey whipped around, her eyes wide, darting every which way to see if she could spot whatever it was that was causing her panic. Her eyes settled on a dark, looming shadow that stood out awkwardly between the folds of two buildings.

 

“Who’s there?” She demanded. “I have pepper spray, a very high pitched scream and…uhm…a gun!” Rey patted her purse once for good measure to emphasize her blatant lie.

 

The shadow moved backwards slightly, trying to align itself with the cover of the buildings shadow of the darkened alleyway.

 

Cell phone in hand, Rey raised the backlit number she had preset when she felt the strange presence.

 

“That’s it, I’m calling the police.”

 

“Rey, don’t! Hey, it’s just me.” A mans voice confessed. The owner of said voice took two large steps out of the dark shadows toward her into the light, his hands raised.  
  
Rey squint her eyes, willing them to adjust under the harsh glare of the overhead streetlamp.

 

“Ben?” Rey asked, uncertain; perplexed as to why she was confronted by this man thrice today.

 

“Yes, it’s Ben. I’m sorry I scared you, I just—“

 

“What the hell do you think you’re doing? Why are you following me?” Rey demanded.

 

“Well, I saw you and that guy outside of Jakku’s and I wanted to make sure that you—“

 

“I barely even know you and you’re skulking around like a weirdo in the shadows behind me, following me home?” She crossed her arms over her chest and glared at him accusatorily.

 

Ben stared at her, his hands still raised. His jaw was hard set and his lips tucked up under his teeth as he looked toward the ground seeming a little embarrassed.

 

“Well?” She impatiently inquired.

 

 _‘How is it that someone can look that attractive while glaring daggers at you?’_ Ben wondered.

 

“Yes. Yes, alright? I was following you home!” He said raising his voice an octave. “I saw what happened between you and that complete asshat back at the bar and I wanted to make sure you got home safely.” He confessed, a little annoyed that his chivalry was somehow being turned on its head, making his intentions resemble something creepy and unsavory.

 

“Why?” Rey asked, her head tilting slightly.

 

Ben furrowed his brows, his hands still held in the air around his ears. “I’m sorry?”

 

“You heard me, I asked you ‘why’.” Rey repeated.

 

“Why? What do you mean ‘why’?” He threw back at her. “What kind of question is that?”

 

“Yes, why? You don’t owe me anything, I barely know you. Why did you feel compelled to ensure my safety?”

 

Ben gaped at her like her head had somehow sprouted a twin.

 

He had just confessed as to _why_ , not to mention that her ill tempered demand to further explain himself was a bit out of line considering the fact that he had tried to defend her back at the bar. And here he was _trying_ to do the right thing again.

 

Ben had a long day. He had to see two students after class which resulted in a long winded talk about their sliding grades, spent the entire afternoon and early evening grading papers _after_ being berated by Professor Hux boasting about how he was a shoe in for tenure (something that Ben had been after for a while now), had been served the wrong order (even if it _was_ better than what he would have gotten had they not run dry of wheat), and on top of it all, been attacked by one of the biggest morons he had ever met and was now ending his night being scolded for being the good guy!

 

Ben didn’t have to put up with this.

 

“I’m sorry, sweetheart!” his voice raised a bit more in frustration. “Sorry for attempting chivalry at such an ungodly hour. Perhaps all good common sense has gone to bed along with the sun this evening. I guess this is what I get for trying to be nice! The last time, I assure you.”

 

Ben finished his tirade with a huff and Rey was… she was…was she _smirking_ at him?

 

_What was wrong with this woman?!_

 

“Alright, alight. Calm down, mister-over-dramatic.”  Rey seemed to back off a bit, a tiny bit of mirth making its way into the edges of her voice. “And I don’t actually have a gun, Ben. You can put your hands down now and stop looking as if I’m robbing you in a saloon in an old western film.”

 

She hadn’t meant to be so rude to him but he gave her a fright!

 

Ben slowly lowered his arms, blood rushing back into his extremities.

 

Rey, still smirking slightly, turned around and started to walk in the direction of her home. She paused and glanced over her shoulder at him and gave a small shrug.

 

“Well? Are you coming?”

 

Ben blinked for a moment, confused by the sudden change in her mood. Squaring his shoulders and straightening himself, he half jogged until he caught up, falling into pace alongside her.

 

They walked in silence for a few minutes. Rey’s eyes darted between looking ahead and looking at him. Ben had his hands shoved in the pockets of his jeans with his head down, not really sure if she felt like talking. Finally, Rey broke their silence.

 

“So… what were you doing out tonight?”

 

“Oh, uhm, ya know.” He removed his hands from his pockets and started to fidget at his cuticles absentmindedly.  “Went for a beer after work, got to watch a coworker get engaged, got attacked by the tall, drunk, angry, beefed up version of a young Michael Anthony Hall, got yelled at on the street at 2am for attempted stalking by the girl who punched said young Michael Anthony Hall in the face…All in all? I’d say it was a pretty solid night.” Ben said, glancing at her out of the corner of his eye. “Nice right hook, by the way.”

 

Rey looked down, her cheeks reddening slightly. She smiled. “I didn’t yell at you.”

 

“No, I guess you didn’t. Sternly scolded was more like it.”

 

They looked at each, their eyes meeting briefly as they continued to walk.

 

“Do you and Dameron know each other well?”

 

“Poe? Yeah. We’re great friends. The man he got  engaged to is my _best_ friend, actually. Finn. He owns the cafe with me.”

 

Ben recalled the happy couple, basking in their post engagement afterglow. He also recalled her apparent sadness after the fact.

 

“Not too happy about that, I’m guessing.”

 

Rey’s footsteps came to a sudden halt.

 

“Why do you say that?” She asked pointedly.

 

 _‘Was she really that transparent?’_ She thought.

 

Ben, realizing she had stopped walking, stood and faced her. She looked angry again.

 

No, not angry. _Upset_.

 

“I am extremely happy for them! I couldn’t _be_ any happier for them.” Rey said, placing her hands on her hips. “They are two of my closest friends and they are happy and that makes me happy because they are so—well—happy!”

 

“Which makes you miserable.”

 

“I beg your pardon?” Rey choked out, affronted as she took a step forward, narrowing her eyes.

 

“That’s it, isn’t it? They’re happy and you’re not and it makes you miserable.” Ben stated, his eyes not once leaving hers. He took one step toward her, closing the small distance between them. Wanting to better see her face, feeling a need to be closer…

 

Rey looked like she was ready to explode. Here eyes widened slightly but her brows softened against the scowl she wore a moment ago. Ben wasn’t sure if she was about to cry, scream or vomit but whatever it was, she was holding back.

 

“It’s okay, say it. I won’t judge you.” His eyes searched hers.

 

Rey looked like she was about ready to take off like a rocket; her face was tinged pink with a mixture of anger and embarrassment at being called out.

 

“Say it.” He urged her again.

 

“Ugggghhhhh, yes!” Rey finally bellowed, throwing up her hands in defeat and started walking again.

 

“It’s not like I’m _not_ happy for them, I am! I truly am. Finn and Rose are my best friends and they deserve everything and more but here I am the tag-along on every dinner date, every movie trip, every photo taken, it’s always ‘single Rey!’ It’s sad and pathetic!”

 

Rey’s pace quickened. The more upset she got, the faster her legs seemed to carry her. Thankfully Ben’s long limbs enabled him to keep up with her. While she would appear to be almost sprinting, he was walking at a normal, leisurely pace.

 

“I don’t think it’s—“

 

“And it’s not like I’m hard up for a boyfriend or anything. I date, I make an effort! But I’m just… not the relationship type and that’s really hard in a group full of couples, ya know? They all expect me to get a boyfriend, get married and who knows if I even want that? Maybe we all aren’t meant to pair off and procreate. But I do try, I _do_.” She said, almost half believing her own words.

 

If Matt had been her idea of trying, she might as well give up right now.

 

“Rey, I don’t think you’re—“

 

“And another thing,” Rey swung around to face him, walking backwards as she spoke. “Maybe there just isn’t anybody out there for me. I’m—well—difficult and set in my ways and busy with a café and a life and I—I—I“

 

Rey struggled to find excuses.

 

“I want to go back to school, maybe, and I want to expand the café next year. My visa is up soon and I need to start submitting endless paperwork to make sure that I can stay here and not lose the café because I’ve worked too hard and have come too far to let it all slip away because once in a while I might feel a little lacking for companionship. I have dreams, Ben. And they do not include being barefoot and pregnant looking after a man!” Rey spun back around and continued to walk fast.

 

“Rey! Stop, stop.” Ben grabbed her shoulders, stilling her strides and turned her to face him.

 

She looked positively crestfallen. He would have accepted her defeated look if it weren’t for the defiant sparkle hidden in her lovely hazel eyes.

 

His thumbs rubbed soothing circles on the rounds of her shoulders as he spoke.

 

“I don’t think you’re pathetic at all. I think it’s admirable that you’ve been able to do things on your own and have gotten to where you are. I don’t know anything about you, that’s true. But I can see that you’re passionate and hardworking and that’s just about all I need know about you to understand exactly how you feel.”

 

“Yeah? And what exactly do you think I feel?” She asked halfheartedly, avoiding his eyes.

 

“Alone.”

 

Rey looked up into his rich dark eyes and saw all that she felt mirrored in his gaze.

 

“I know what it’s like to do it all by yourself. To excel professionally and not have anybody to share it with, not like your friends do. They can go home to their partners and they are supported and loved. While all you get in the way of comfort is a glass of wine and a Netflix binge. It’s not the same. And no matter how much they try and be there for you or how much they claim to understand, they’ll just never truly get it.”

 

Rey couldn’t believe it. Here this man was, basically a stranger to her up until this morning, voicing the exact way she has felt for as long as she can remember.

 

“How do you know all that?” She asked in wonder.

 

Ben’s hands slowly moved from her shoulders down the length of her arms, barely grazing her skin. When they reached her hands, so small compared to his own, his fingertips just barely kissed the edge of her palms before his large, warm hands, closed softly around her forearms. Rey found herself leaning towards him, her eyes captivated by the way he worried his mouth, jaw clenching and releasing, as if his tongue was seeking permission from his lips to speak.

 

“Takes one to know one.” Ben finally admitted. He slowly removed his hands from hers and placed them back at his sides. Rey reeled slightly from the loss of contact.

 

“Oh, Ben…” She said, finally recognizing him as an allied force. Rey bowed her head but offered nothing more.

 

“Come on.” Ben urged, resting his hand on the small of her back as he escorted them onward once more.

 

The nighttime stars shined brightly, lighting up the dark streets as they walked. They kept their conversation lighthearted as they finally reached Rey’s small apartment above Niima Coffee & Café.

 

“Well, this is me.” Rey announced.

 

The café, which had been closed for hours, lay within an old brick building matching that of the university across the street. It had large picture windows on either side of the entrance, enabling the expanse of the café to be flooded with tons of natural light during the day. Ben peered in the windows curiously.

 

“Well anyway, thanks for—“ Rey started but stopped as Ben continued to cup his hands against the glass to get a better peek at what lay inside.

 

Rey giggled at his attempts to see into the dark café.

 

“Would you like to come in?” Rey offered. “I could fix us a coffee or tea or anything you like.” Rey asked, not sure why she wasn’t willing for this night to come to an end yet, all things considering.

 

Ben stepped back from the window and looked at Rey inquisitively, seeming at war with himself with what he wanted to do. Rey took pity on him and gave him an out.

 

“Right, maybe another time, it’s late and you’re probably—“

 

“Alright.” He said, interrupting her.

 

Rey’s heartbeat increased a little as she took a moment to process his answer. She slowly walking up to the enterence, fishing around in her purse for her keys, unlocked the door and held it open, gesturing for Ben to enter.

  

The moment he stepped into the café, all his senses were immersed in euphoric satisfaction as the rich aroma of strong coffee hung in the air, tinged with hints of cinnamon and clove that gave off a most delectable fragrance.

 

Rey turned on a stained glass lamp that stood in the corner, bathing the room in warm colorful light.

 

Ben blinked and looked around to better acquaint himself with his surroundings.

 

Different sized bowls and jars filled with various candies and chocolates with hand written chalkboard signs displaying it’s contents and price littered a tall counter that he could imagine Rey smiling behind as she interacted with her patrons.

 

The menu board above the counter was also hand written in soft white chalk. The shelves underneath them were filled with mismatched cups and mugs that added even more character to the already charming little shop.

 

Leonetto Cappiello art hung on the walls in black matte frames interspersed with old sepia toned photo’s of people from all walks of life sipping hot beverages and smiling.

 

There was limited seating but that only made it seem more cozy and intimate. A clothed bench ran the length of the wall opposite the counter with soft throws and beaded pillows adorning it. The remaining seating area had small wrought iron tables and matching chairs with colored cushions sprinkled about invitingly.

 

It was like being home.

 

“Rey, this is…” Ben struggled to come up with the words to capture exactly how enticing her little café was. “Perfect.”

 

“It’s got something, hasn’t it?” She said, looking around.

 

“It really does. It’s like something out of a movie.”

 

“Yeah, Finn and I were going for ‘FRIENDS chic’.” Rey said jokingly.

 

“I think you captured that perfectly.”

 

Rey smiled at him. Ben decided that, besides being annoyed with him, smiling at him was his second favorite way she looked at him.

 

“Well, what can I get you?” Rey offered.

 

“Oh, no. You don’t have to go to any trouble. I can just get going, I’m sure you’re tired and—“

 

“Nonsense! It’s the least I can do for the non-stalker who came to my rescue to walk me home safely.” She joked. “Whatever you like! What’s your favorite?”

 

A small part of him wanted to say that _she_ was his favorite. Her and her café and her bright smile and her beautiful eyes and all of it.

 

Ben took a step closer to her as she hung by the counter.

 

“Why don’t you make me _your_ favorite?”

 

“ _My_ favorite?” She asked, confused.

 

“Yes. I want to know your favorite. What is something that _you_ love?”

 

Again, he took a step toward her as if being beckoned forward by the golden flecks in her eyes.

 

He towered over her, his eyes soft as they held hers captive.

 

Why, _why_ did he have this effect on her? The moment her eyes found his, she felt as though he had some kind of unnamed power that rendered her incapable of movement. She should have felt trapped or panicked.

 

But she didn’t.

 

She felt…

 

Safe.

 

Rey’s breathing picked up as Ben’s chest rose and fell in time with her heartbeat. She could feel the heat of his skin radiating through his shirt at his close proximity to her.

 

“Come on.” She said, his face mere inches from hers. She could feel his warm breath cascading against her flushed cheek as she took his hand and started to lead him towards the back.

 

When they reached the kitchen, Rey stopped and reached to turn on one of the overhead lights. As she let go of his hand, she swore that she almost felt his knuckles graze her hip as it came to rest back at his side. Ben’s body was so close; Rey suddenly felt the urge to lean into him. Imagining what those long arms would feel like as they came to wrap tightly around her.

 

_‘What is wrong with you? Get a hold of yourself, woman!’_

 

Rey shook her head and cleared her throat. She took a few large steps forward to put some distance between them and opened the fridge. She pulled out some cold milk and fresh whipped cream she had made earlier that day. Next, Rey went over to the cabinets on the other side of the kitchen and pulled out cinnamon, ginger, allspice, brown sugar, nutmeg, vanilla bean and lastly, some tea bags.

 

Rey loaded up her arms and made her way back to the front of the café and turned on a large loud machine and started to steam the milk.

 

“My favorite drink of all time, no matter what the season or mood, is a chai tea latte. Iced or hot, doesn’t matter as long as it’s chai.” Rey said as she combined all the ingredients. Ben could barely keep up, her hands moved so fast. She steeped the teabags in some hot water. To the steamed milk she added the vanilla bean which she scraped out with the back of knife after making a small incision down the length of it, it’s unmistakablely warm, sweet scent perfuming the air around them. Next, Rey added the ground ginger, nutmeg, cinnamon, allspice and brown sugar, mixing it together with a long metal spoon.

 

Finally she removed the tea bags, took the hot milk mixture and poured it atop the chai and finished it with a dollop of whipped cream, a sprinkle of nutmeg and a cinnamon stick.

 

“Chai tea latte.” Rey said, handing Ben the mug. Its contents smelled divine. Like an exotic autumn day and Ben just wanted to sink into the feeling. He raised the cup to his full lips and sipped.

 

Rey watched him, unable to tear her eyes away as she watched his eye lashes flutter closed against his cheek; the most delectable sigh escaping his lips as he swallowed.

 

Ben looked at Rey astounded and a smile spread across his lips.

 

“I think I just fell in love.” He said taking another sip.

 

“It’s good, isn’t it?”

 

“Good? It’s fucking fantastic!”

 

Rey giggled at his vulgar yet valued compliment.

 

Ben leaned against the wall as Rey propped herself up on the counter.

 

“Would you like anything to eat?” She offered.

 

“I’m good. This is perfect.” He said, gesturing to his drink with his chin.

 

“Do you have—I’m assuming you don’t—“she faltered.

 

“Spit it out, Rey.”

 

“I’m guessing there isn’t anybody waiting up for you at home at this late hour?” She said quickly staring down into her cup. When he didn’t answer, she looked up at him. His eyes were fixed on her face, wearing an amused expression.

 

“No.” He said simply. “As it turns out, I’m not very good with—“

 

“Women?” Rey asked, raising her brows and lifting her mug to her mouth to hide her smile.

 

“People.” He said with a small hint of disdain, correcting her. “I’m not very good with people.”

 

He lowered his head, a little lost on how to proceed.

 

“I’ve always found it difficult to relate to others, how to bond with them. I’m an only child, my parents had busy careers and I often was left to myself. That carried on into school and relationships… I’m just not good with people.”

 

“You seem to do alright with your students.” Rey offered, knowing that the young man from today’s class might not agree with her.

 

“That’s different. I don’t have to talk about myself. I just… pass on what I’ve learned and hope they walk away with something useful. That’s why I enjoy literature so much, why I love poetry. I find solace in the words of others. So much so that I hide behind them.”

 

Just like she hid behind her smile. Always putting on a happy face so nobody would see what lay beneath.

 

It seemed as if they _both_ wore masks.

 

How fitting.

 

“Why don’t you try writing? I bet you’d be really good at it!”

 

“I’ve tried, actually. On numerous occasions I’ve tried to put pen to paper but nothing really comes out. I’m just left with a blank notebook and an unsettling feeling that I’m just not good enough.”

 

Rey looked at him with a concerned expression. Ben pulled himself together a bit before correcting his previous statement.

 

“At writing.” He added.

 

“Hmm. Well, maybe one day you’ll find something that inspires you.”

 

“Maybe.”

 

Ben looked at Rey again, taking in her whimsical features.

 

Her hair hung loosely around her shoulders, framing her pretty face. He already knew that he liked her eyes and her beautiful mouth. Her frame was petite but the flare of her hips and slight curve of her breasts gave her enough shape to accentuate her feminine form. Hips that he could imagine grabbing and pulling against his, breasts that looked as if they would be a perfect little handful but enough to fill his palm.

 

The clock on the wall began to chime, notifying him that it was now 3:00 AM. At this hour, the night could only end in two possible scenarios. One, he walks home to his lonely apartment a few blocks away, by himself, goes to bed and sleeps off this odd night.

 

Two…

 

 _‘No._ ’ He thought firmly, putting that idea to rest. He knew that two wasn’t an option. Not for him. Not with her. Rey seemed like she needed a friend. She had already told him that she wasn’t interested in getting involved with anybody and wanted to focus on herself and her future. What kind of man would he be if he tried to mess any of that up for her. He would have to try and settle for being her friend. His very attractive, female, Rey shaped _friend._

 

Ben took Rey’s empty cup and set it on the counter next to his.

 

“I should get going.”

 

For a moment, he thought he sensed her disappointment.

 

“I’ll walk you out.” Rey said, hopping off the counter.

 

She wasn’t sure why, but she felt some type of way about him leaving. But it _was_ late and she had to get up in a few hours to open the café.

 

Rey followed him to the door, finding herself completely dwarfed behind his massive bulk and intimidating height. His broad shoulders and wide frame would have almost made him look comical if it weren’t for the lithe muscles that lay beneath the fabric of his shirt. She watched as they contracted slightly as he walked, wondering if the other side of him was just as large and well defined. Her gaze wandered lower to appreciate the small yet very obviously toned curve of his ass. Just as her mind started to wonder at the other side of _that_ part of him, her foot caught a table leg and before she knew what happened, she found herself flying forward into the large expanse of the body that had distracted her in the first place.

 

Ben reacted quickly by turning slightly and catching her to his side, his right arm wrapping around her waste to stop her momentum, his left hand bracing himself against the door frame.

 

“You okay?” He inquired, breathing a little harder than what was necessary.

 

Rey’s heart fired rapidly in her chest. Her uneven breaths were somewhat ragged from the adrenalin of almost taking a tumble but mostly because she now found herself pressed tightly against a very large, very solid Ben Solo.

 

“Yeah.” She breathed out slowly, her head slightly turning so she could peek at him from the corner of her eye. “Thank you.”

 

“No problem.” He responded, his voice sounded almost as breathy as hers.

 

They were both righted but still neither of them moved away from each other.

 

Ben’s hand slowly splayed out across her abdomen, her muscles flexing unconsciously beneath the heat of his embrace. She felt his breath against her hair, his lips so close to her when he spoke.

 

Rey chanced a look back at him. He gazed down at her, his eyes half lidded, his plush lips slightly parted. She took this moment to study his oddly handsome face. The beauty marks that she had noticed earlier were dusted perfectly against his smooth skin, like ripples that marred the surface of a calm lake. Rey found herself resisting the desire to touch his skin as if her mind was fighting a war against her own limbs to not reach out and touch his hand, his face, his hair.

 

Before she could proclaim the winner, a loud beeping from the steamer startled them, spoiling the moment. Rey reluctantly untangled herself from him and made her way over to the machine to shut it off.

 

Before turning and heading back toward the front, Rey slid open one of the lower cabinets behind the counter, pulling out a long silver tray stacked with baked goods and put one of it’s contents into a paper bag before coming back to meet him at the door.

 

“Chocolate decadence muffin.” She said, holding out the bag to him. “For breakfast.”

 

“Lunch more likely at this point. I’m going to sleep until noon as it is. I haven’t been up this late since college.”

 

Rey’s cheeks flushed pink, feeling a little guilty about him having been out so late because of her.

 

Ben reached out to grab the corner of the bag, his fingertips just barely making contact with hers before letting go. He offered a small smile before opening the door and stepping out into the cool night air.

 

“Ben?”

 

He turned around in the door way to look at her.

 

“Thank you.” She said softly. “For this evening, for being there. For not letting me walk home by myself and for putting up with my mood swings. For understanding me when I thought surely nobody else did. After I left the bar tonight, I’d felt... well, let’s just say that I’d never felt so alone.” She looked down at the ground, sadness making its way into the corners of her thoughts.

 

Ben placed his long, thick pointer finger under her chin, raising it just enough to meet his eyes.

 

“You’re not alone.” He reassured her. 

 

Ben removed his finger from under her chin and very lightly touched it to the tip of her nose. A small grin graced her lips and Ben looked happy that he achieved his goal of getting her to smile at him.

 

_‘His second favorite.’_

Ben backed up from the doorway onto the sidewalk to start his journey home at the now ungodly hour. He only made it a few steps before Rey called his name. He turned to looking back at her.

 

“Neither are you!” She called out to him in the silence of the night, needing him to know that there was someone out there that understood, someone out there that cared.

 

Ben regarded her softly, nodding. He gave her a quick wink, making Rey’s smile grow even wider into that mega-watt smile he had been waiting for all night since he first saw it at the bar.

 

Ben gave her one last final wave before turning the corner and disappearing from view.

 

Rey closed the door and locked it behind her. She turned out the light, grabbed the empty cups from the counter and deposited them in the large kitchen sink in the back before making her way up the stairs that connected up to her apartment.

 

She changed into a a t-shirt and bed shorts, forgoing the cold shower she felt she needed a few moments ago and hopped into bed.

 

Rey ran over the last few hours in her head. This night had gone in a completely different direction than she had anticipated after her fist made contact with Matt’s stupid nose.

 

Ben had been a surprising comfort this evening. The man she thought was the world’s biggest asshole turned out to be an equal in her emotional desolation. His kind words had eased her frayed edges, his deep voice soothing her anxieties. His brown eyes warmed her soul. His body warmed… other areas of her.

 

‘ _No._ ’ she thought. ‘ _No, you will not ruin this by letting your touch starved self get in the way of a potential budding friendship. He hit the nail on the head. You’re just lonely. Stop acting like a horny sorority gir!’_

Rey signed and turned over, nuzzling her face into her pillow.

 

Yes. Ben would be a great friend. A _single_ friend. A single friend that could potentially act as her plutonic date for outings with her now coupled up group of friends. Her plutonic date whose lips she remembered were the color of strawberry jam. She wondered if they would taste as sweet…

 

“Dammit!” Rey thought, mentally slapping herself.

 

It would be a long while before sleep took her.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for delayed update! I know I said Sunday but alas, life got in the way! Hope you all enjoyed this lengthy chapter. 
> 
> Let me know in the comments! As always, kudos are cool, comments are fuel!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for the delay in update. I am the absolute worst! I tried to make this chapter a tiny bit longer than previous ones and the next chapter will *really* send the plot of the story spiraling forward to the more...ooey gooey center of the story. I actually wanted to put the next scene into this chapter but it would have been WAY too long so I split it up MEANING that half the next chapter is already written.  
> I do fully apologize and take full responsibility for any typo's or errors as my beta (aka my husband) has been working his tail off this past week as we are headed out to Block Island with my family tomorrow. I will be trying to write as much as I can with my laptop while I'm out there HOWEVER I probably won't be updating until I return on the 13th or 14th. 
> 
> STAY WITH ME FOLKS!

The Mirror Has Two Faces

A Reylo AU

 

 

The hustle and bustle on a Monday morning, full of stressed out, triple caffeinated, suit wearing business types, armed with a cell phone and a can-do attitude seems like a completely different galaxy compared to the relaxed fit, mimosa sipping, hair down, brunch crowd that infiltrates Niima Café on a Sunday morning.

 

Rey _loves_ Sundays.

 

How it turns so quickly from warm smiles to stern scowls over night, Rey will never understand.

 

Finn, Rey and Kaydel, their part timer (nicknamed ‘Kay’), buzzed around the café like worker bees, ensuring that the hive was full of people being treated like royalty.

 

Waters filled and orders placed with a side of:

_‘Can I get you anything?’_

_‘Are the eggs to your liking?’_

_‘More coffee?’_

_‘Can I top you off with some more champagne?’_

_‘The orange juice is freshly squeezed.’_

_‘Try the salmon benedict; the salmon is fresh and never frozen.’_

_‘Yes, we make the crab cakes in house, barely any breading. It’s all lump meat!’_

 

There was a reason for their 4.5 star rating on Yelp. Rey wished it were 5 but hey, you can’t please _everyone._

 

Rey woke up yesterday morning, tired from the strange events of the night prior but ready to get to work. She opened the shop as usual and was able to manage until she hit a wall. She _almost_ messed up a regulars order and gave him almond milk in his coffee instead of soy milk knowing full well he had a nut allergy.

 

_‘Yeah, this is why people need to have a full night’s rest; so they don’t accidentally murder people with nut laced caffeinated drinks.’_

Even though exhaustion was surely to blame, she couldn’t help but think that perhaps the full lips and velvety sonorous voice of a certain someone that held her thoughts hostage _might_ also have had something to do with it.

 

Rey was about ready to fall asleep in a tray of éclairs, dreaming of wisps of dark luxurious hair falling over creamy fair skin with marginally aristocratic features when Finn finally came in to relieve her around 1pm so she could go upstairs and nap.

 

Finn and Kay cleaned, closed, and locked up by the time Rey finally resurfaced from her afternoon coma.

 

Rey ventured downstairs and started to take down all of the spring decorations so they could be replaced with bright sunny summer ones. Turning on some Jack Johnson, Rey put seashells in a bowl by the register, got all the summer decals out of storage for the window displays and stuck them perfectly to the freshly cleaned glass after having spent 15 minutes making them shine. She put every coconut themed drink special she could think of up on the menu board and started to bake some lamingtons and coconut macaroons to really get in the mood.

 

That’s what people wanted. Coconut all summer long, pumpkin spiced everything in autumn, gingerbread, candy cane and peppermint around the holidays and floral teas in spring. It was effortless.

 

Now that it was Sunday and the weekend was slowly coming to a close, a thought of tomorrow’s lunch deliveries momentarily filled her with…

 

Excitement?

 

‘ _Yeah because mister-built- like-a-linebacker was going to call in his order around_ _1pm_ _which means you get to see him again.’_

Rey shook her head of that thought and went back to bringing out her umpteenth order of eggs benedict that morning.

 

She was in the back office getting more change for the register when Finn poked his head around the door frame.

 

“Hey, before we close up today, I need to talk to you.”

 

Rey froze and ceased counting the stack of single’s, not caring that she’d have to start over. She knew that if Finn needed to speak with her, something was definitely up. For a moment she thought he was just going to tell her he was staying over at Poe’s again.

 

Finn was always very considerate of her feelings, knowing she hated to spend the night alone even since before the engagement. Finn had been sleeping over at Poe’s almost every night meaning that Rey was used to receiving a phone call or a text letting her know that she was on her own.

 

 

Coming home to Finn was one of Rey’s favorite parts of her day; just the two of them, a bottle of wine, some snacks from Trader Joe’s, Jimmy Fallon on in the background and just talking about anything and everything. Sometimes Rose would take a ride over in her pj’s and join in on their gossip nights and even Eric would tag along for ‘girl talk’ once in a blue moon.

 

Having grown up with five sisters _really_ helped Eric fit perfectly into their boisterous chatter about the newest episode of The Bachelorette.

 

Rey had hoped that she and Finn could spend a night catching up. They hadn’t really had a chance to celebrate or talk about his impending nuptials. But the fact that Finn needed to have a one on one conversation with her at work no less, she knew it had to be a bit more then forewarning her of his sleeping arrangements for the evening.

 

“Okay...?” Rey said apprehensively. Finn looked nervous and it threw Rey off for the remainder of brunch, wondering what it was he had to tell her.

 

 

***

  
When the last customer had left, Kay collected her tips, and clocked out leaving Rey and Finn alone. They awkwardly looked at each other, neither knowing who should talk first.

 

  
“Rey, before I start, I want to tell you that I love you and I need you to _really_ know that.” Finn stated firmly.

 

“Is this the part where you tell me _‘it’s not you, it’s me’_ and break up with me?” Rey said with a laugh, trying to make light of the situation.

 

Finn didn’t laugh. In fact, he didn’t even crack a smile.

 

Rey could only stare at him, her eyes focused on his face and her pulse accelerated, now truly fearing that whatever he was about to tell her, it certainly wasn’t good news.

 

Rey sobered and looked him in the eye. “Yes, I know how much you love me.”

 

“Do you?” he asked looking skeptically at her.

 

Finn walked away at that moment, bringing a bin of the remaining dishes from the last customers into the kitchen, Rey at his heels.

 

“Yes. Of course I do!” she insisted.

 

Finn placed the bin in the overly large sink and started hosing them off with the sprayer.

 

“Sometimes, I don’t know Rey. I know you know I care. But do you actually know how much you mean to me?”

 

Rey reached over him, turned off the water and forced him to turn and look at her.

 

“Finn, whatever it is. You can tell me. You don’t have to coddle me and sweeten me up with declarations of admiration. I know how you feel! I feel the same way about you. You’re like my brother and the closest thing I’ve ever had to family.”

 

Finn looked down and grabbed her hand, feeling abashed.

 

“And that’s why telling you this is so hard.”

 

“Finn, you’re scaring me.” She said firmly. “Just stop blubbering and spit it out!”

 

Finn continued to stair at the floor. His shoulders slumped slightly and his grip tightened its hold on her hand.

 

“Oh for Pete’s sake, Finn! It can’t be that bad. Does it have something to do with you and Poe?”

 

He nodded, still not able to look at her.

 

“Alright, are you guys still getting married?”

 

Again Finn nodded.

 

“Okay, I can’t play 20 questions with you about this. Please, Finn just tell me what’s—“

 

“—Poe and I are moving in together.” Finn said, his words strung together as if it were one long word and not a sentence.

 

He finally looked up at her, his features a mask of sadness that ripped through Rey’s heart like a knife. Finn opened and closed his mouth a few times but no words came through them.

 

The expression Rey wore at that moment was one he couldn’t decipher. She didn’t look upset or happy. If anything, she looked—

 

“Ow! That hurt!”

  
Rey wrenched her hand out of his grasp and proceeded to punch Finn square in the arm… twice… and once more for good measure.

                                                  

“Ow, stoppit!”

 

“Are you kidding me, Finn? You bloody scared me! That’s what you had to tell me? That you’re rightfully moving in with the man you’re about to marry? I thought you were in trouble, or terminally ill or decided to start a garage band or something!”

 

“I’m sorry, Rey. It’s been the two of us for so long, I didn’t know how you were going to—a garage band?!”

 

“Yeah, you can’t sing worth a crap and I didn’t want to be the one to shatter your deluded dreams.”

 

Finn smiled and Rey beamed back at him.

 

“It’s about time.” Rey said, resting her hand against the apple of his cheek. “The two of you should have done this ages ago.”

 

Finn’s body visibly relaxed, letting out a huge breath like he had been holding it for hours.

 

“And when you get back from Europe, I’ll help you pack and I can even go through some stuff while you’re gone.”

 

Suddenly, the rigidness in Finn’s demeanor was back.

 

“Well, that’s the other part.” He said slowly, looking downtrodden once again. “I was hoping to get this done before I left.”

 

Rey’s heart sank. Finn and Poe were leaving in a week and she had hoped for a little more time with Finn. To say goodbye to the man she’s lived with for the past 6 years, to figure out her next step, to adjust…

 

Rey knew that this day was just around the corner of course, especially when she learned of Poe’s plan to make an honest man out of her best friend. She just didn’t know it would be so _soon_. She wasn’t sure she was ready to be completely on her own just yet. She didn’t know if she _wanted_ to be.

 

Rey knew that if she didn’t play the part of the supportive friend, it might deter or delay Finn from moving in with Poe, effectively putting a wedge in their relationship which Finn would come to harbor resentment towards her for and thus would result in a strain on their friendship. She couldn’t let that happen. Finn deserved all the happiness and normalcy Poe had to offer him.

 

“Finn, look at me.”

 

His sad eyes reluctantly met her kind ones.

 

“You need to stop worrying so much about me. I’m a grown woman; I can take care of myself. You love Poe, don’t you?”

 

Finn nodded slowly.

 

“Good. Because he’s a wonderful, decent man and the best part of the whole thing is that he loves you too. Like, really _really_ loves you. Like, would take off his raincoat and lay it over a puddle so you don’t wreck your shoes even though his raincoat probably cost more than your entire shoe collection.”

 

Finn laughed but his smile didn’t quite reach his eyes.

 

“I know this is the right thing, Rey. And I know you can take care of yourself. It’s just—I think part of me is worried because--”

 

Finn paused and looked down.

  
“Worried because what?” Rey urged.

 

“Worried because I know it’ll be great, with Poe… but it still won’t be you.”

 

Rey’s eyes stung with unshed tears. In an overwhelming moment of desperate adoration for her friend, she rose up on her tip toes and flung her arms out, wrapping Finn up in a giant hug.

 

“It’ll be better.” She said simply into his chest, choking back a small sob. “It’ll be perfect. I promise.”

 

Finn wrapped his arms around Rey and laid his cheek against the crown of her hair.

 

“I know, Peanut. I know.”

 

There they stood, just two friends at the precipice of the unknown, saying a bittersweet goodbye to their past so that they could both move forward to embrace their future.

 

That night as Rey tried to fall asleep; she didn’t even attempt to suppress the tears that slid down her cheeks onto the soft down filled pillow as she lay alone in bed in her empty apartment.

 

 

***

 

Rey found herself rushing a little faster through her deliveries the following afternoon, saving the east campus for last.

 

She pushed the door open to room 111 armed with _his_ lunch (a salad today), a chocolate muffin and a wide grin, but upon entering the room, Rey stopped short. The smile she sported a moment ago; gone and was now replaced with a bemused smirk.

 

Ben was sitting behind a large oak desk, opened books and papers haphazardly strewn about its surface. On the bridge of his prominent nose sat a pair of half rimmed matte black metal reading glasses, his focus intense on a medium sized, worn, brown leather-bound notebook. His large masculine hands were splayed across the book taking up most of the front and back cover, his pinky’s meeting at its binding.  In that moment, Rey couldn’t tell if Ben looked more like a maestro pouring over a symphony or a mad scientist hell-bent on hubristic mayhem.

 

“Student hours don’t start until 4 PM so I’ll kindly ask you to come back later.” Ben barked without looking up.

 

Rey took a few steps toward the desk.

 

“I fear you’ll be ravenous by then.” Rey walked the rest of the way to his desk and placed his lunch in front of him.

 

Ben lowered the book and bashfully raised his eyes to her face before looking back down into the pages of the notebook.

 

“I barely saw you out of the corner of my eye. I forget how tiny you are, you’re like a malnourished freshman.”

 

Rey cocked her head to one side and raised an eyebrow at him. A small fire lit inside her chest at his word choice. If only he knew what malnourished _really_ looked like. She, unfortunately, _did_ know…

 

“Is this just the way you and I are meant to start off all our conversations? By you insulting me and me having to remind you to behave like a civilized human being and not a complete arse?” Rey said, folding her arms across her chest.

 

Ben closed his notebook and gingerly placed it inside the top drawer of his desk, slowly rising to his feet.

 

“Is this how all your responses are going to be? Me making a factual comment and you taking everything I say personally like I have some kind of vendetta against you instead of taking it in stride?”

 

Rey balled her hands into small fist on his desk and leaned forward, angling her body across it and narrowed her eyes at him. “Maybe I wouldn’t think as much if you didn’t let whatever’s in your head come flying out of your mouth without much consideration of the consequences.”

 

Ben flattened his wide palms on the wood surface that separated them and leaned forward towards her from the other side of the desk, mimicking her body language.

 

“Well, perhaps you should try being a little bit less sensitive.” He barked.

 

“Perhaps _you_ should try being a little _more_ sensitive!” Rey yelled back at him.

 

His face was so close to hers, he could smell her perfume. A distinctly feminine, yet spicy scent that wafted around him and ensnared all his senses, fearing it would linger in his nose forever, destined to carry her fragrance with him until he expired. Rey’s breaths were coming in short shallow bursts and a slow blush crept up the sides of her neck. The color of her eyes was a heady version of the normally soft hazel hue and her pink lips were pursed making them look more poutier than usual.

 

Ben’s gaze lingered on her mouth for another moment, his face now mere inches away from hers.

 

“Have a drink with me.” He murmured.

 

“What, now?” she asked, confused.

 

“Yes.”

 

“Is that your way of apologizing?” she scoffed.

 

Ben paused before answering, looking up into her eyes. Still annoyed.

 

Still beautiful.

 

“Yes.” He conceded.

 

She couldn’t decide if she was too close or if he was too far, her emotions just as muddled as her thought process was every time she encountered this infuriating man.

 

Rey leaned away from him, deciding again that distance was probably the best course of action and settled her stance into a less tense one, hugging her arms around herself.

 

“Why do you want to have a drink with me?” Rey shrugged, looking down at her feet.

 

“Because I like you.” Ben stated flatly not taking his eyes off of her. “Regardless of the mere fact that every time I open my mouth, you look like you want to throttle my neck with your bare hands.” He added menacingly.

 

She looked back up at him. He was obviously trying his luck at comedic relief but his face was so open and honest. His eyes held that fiery gaze that Rey still wasn’t quite sure what to do with or why she felt so uncomfortable under it. But even with the intensity of him, she couldn’t help but think that he looked pleading, _vulnerable,_ younger somehow…

“I like you too.” Rey whispered before she could stop herself, a scarlet warmth settling high on her cheek bones. “You know, when you’re not acting like a total prat.” She finished.

 

Ben smiled to himself and gathered his things off his desk, taking an extra moment to make sure he locked the top drawer where he had placed the leather-bound notebook.

 

 

“Well then, sweetheart.” He said. “Lead the way.”

 

 

***

 

Ben and Rey walked over to the main strip in town. The street was quiet for a late afternoon on a Monday but a few of the bars and restaurants had their doors opened invitingly, beckoning pedestrians to enter, tempting them with half priced drinks and affordable appetizers.

 

Rey stopped in front of a small pub, its sides opened to the street, spilling seating onto the sidewalk. Rey started to walk through the doors when she noticed Ben had stopped and wasn’t following her.

 

“What’s the matter?”

 

“Could we go somewhere else?” He asked, making sure to keep himself away from the view of the door.

 

“Do you not like this place or something?”

 

Ben furrowed his brow and worked his mouth, Rey noticed, in that little way he did when he was uncomfortable.

 

“Or something.” He answered.

 

“I’ve never been here before but Rose and Eric said it’s a great spot. You said to lead the way and this is where I’ve lead us.” She said with a playfully defiant look.

 

“Look, it’s just—“

 

Ben started to argue when suddenly a voice interrupted his attempts. It was so loud the few pigeon’s pecking at food remnants on the sidewalk abandoned their meal and took flight to escape it.

 

“BEN SOLO!”

 

A petite older woman that looked as if she could still bench press a bus stormed out the front doors of the pub, past Rey and stopped right in front of a surprisingly terrified looking Ben, placing her hands high on her small waste. The size difference between the two so vast it was almost comical.

 

“Imagine my surprise when I look out the window and see _you_ outside of my pub. You must need something, _desperately_. I hope it’s a good slap upside the head.” The small woman said flatly.

 

Ben had to place his chin almost to his chest to look down at her.

 

“Hello, Aunt Maz.” Ben greeted her sardonically. Maz narrowed her eyes at him and then turned on her heels and went over to Rey, grabbing her hand.

“Dear girl, what are you doing here with this miscreant? You’re too pure looking to be socializing with the likes of him.” Maz said, patting her hand warmly. Ben rolled his eyes and threw his arms to his side.

 

“We’re just here to get a drink Maz. Don’t get any ideas.” Ben said, pointing a finger at the miniature woman who started to walk inside, pulling Rey by the hand.

 

“’ _Don’t get any idea’s, he says.”_ Maz repeated, imitating his tone. _“_ Well then, let’s get to it.”

 

Rey looked back at Ben, her eyes full of a million questions.

 

Maz lead Rey and Ben to two empty seats at the bar and gestured for them to sit.  The petite older woman made her way to the other side of the bar, stepped up on a foot stool and peered at them now at their eye level.

 

“What’ll ya have?” She inquired.

 

“I’ll take a corona.” Ben said. “Rey?”

 

“I’d love a scotch, please. On the rocks.”

  
Ben’s head turned to glance at Rey, his eye brows quirked up, seemingly surprised yet impressed at her drink order.

 

“Coming right up!” Maz said, handing Ben his beer.

 

She turned way to fetch Rey her drink and Rey took the opportunity to ask Ben, “Did I hear you call her _Aunt_ Maz?”

 

“She’s not really my Aunt. She’s just… I’ve known her since I was little.”

 

Rey couldn’t fathom how this strapping tree of a man could ever use the word ‘little’ to describe himself. She imagined a younger, shorter, chubbier version of the well sculpted man seated beside her, the same shock of dark hair, wavy and unkempt on a wobbly, diaper bottomed toddler.

 

The thought made Rey smile to herself.

 

“So you’re not related to her.” Rey confirmed. “Why does she seem so annoyed with you if you two go so far back and you call her your ‘aunt’?“

 

“Go ahead, Solo. Why don’t you tell her exactly how we know each other.” Maz said as she lay a cocktail napkin down on the bar in front of Rey and placed the glass of scotch atop it.

 

Ben looked between Maz and Rey. A look of sheer panic graced Ben’s usually solemn looking features and as he started to open his mouth to answer, Rey’s phone began to make a racket in the quiet bar. Rey dove into her purse and extracted the loud electronic, silencing it. It was then that Rey noticed that she had 4 missed call and a barrage of unchecked text messages.

 

“Excuse me a moment, I’ve got to make a phone call.” Rey said hitting redial as she hopped off the bar stool and walked back outside.

 

Maz followed Ben’s line of site as he watched fondly as Rey exited the bar.

 

She put one elbow on the bar and yanked gently at Ben’s shirt, getting his attention. When his focus was drawn away from Rey, Maz glared inquisitively at him and cocked her head to one side.

 

“Who’s the girl?”

 

 

***

 

 

“Oh my gosh, Rose! Will she be alright?”

 

The moment Rey stepped outside, Rose answered in near hysterics.

 

Apparently, Eric’s mother had found some emails between her husband and another woman and proceeded to kick him out, begging that Rose and Eric come and stay with her in Scottsdale for moral support.

 

“I hope so. I’m just glad this all happened now so we could go and be with her. Eric has so much PTO time banked and I’m about to start summer vacation soon since the semester is almost over…” Rose paused and let out a large sigh.  “I feel so badly for her. They’ve been married 35 years, Rey. 35 years! How do you do that to the person you’ve loved for that long?”

 

Rey wasn’t sure _how_ someone could do such a thing to someone they were supposed to love. But she knew that it was possible. Her parents were supposed to love her and look what they did.

 

“How’s Eric?” Rey asked.

 

“Ugh, not good. The poor guy was blindsided. His dad is his hero! He can’t imagine his dad would do something like this. We’re going to hear him out and let him explain his half of the story when we’re out there.”

 

“When do you guys leave?”

 

“We were able to book the red eye out of LaGuardia after my last class tomorrow. I don’t know how long we’ll be gone but Eric had already put in for some PTO. It was supposed to be used to take a staycation and start…ya know…’trying’ but now I guess that’s shot to shit.”

 

Rey laughed. “I think technically you’re still legally allowed to engage in sexual intercourse in Arizona. I’m not sure though. You might have to look that up.” Rey deadpanned.

 

“Ha Ha Ha.” Rose faked.

 

“Just try and relax while you’re out there a bit. Put your feat up and drink a cocktail or two out by the pool and let Eric and his family sort this out.”

 

“That’s the thing though, Rey. I _am_ part of the family now.” Rey felt a bitter stab of jealousy work through her which she desperately tried to shake off. “And a few weeks with Eric’s mother while she’s in a state of crisis? I’m gonna need a lot more than a few cocktails.”

 

Rey giggled at her friends dramatics.

 

“I’ll keep you posted when we’re coming back. I’m gonna run over to Poe’s a little later and give him and Finn a hug and kiss goodbye before they leave for Europe. I’ll see you tomorrow for lunch though, right?”

 

Rey forgot how to speak. The realization suddenly dawned on her that both Rose _and_ Finn were going to be gone at the same time for weeks, maybe longer! She had never been without them for more than a few days and even then, it wasn’t simultaneously! They had been her whole life for 6 years and now they were leaving. She was being left behind again…

 

“Rey? Are you there?” Rose asked again.

 

Rey snapped out of her panic induced train of thought. “Yeah. Yeah, I’m here. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

 

“Everything okay?” Rose asked, sensing Rey’s sudden lack of conversation.

 

“I’m fine. I’ve just got to go; I’m actually out for a drink with someone.”

 

“Oh?” Rey could practically hear Rose’s ears perk up.

 

“Yeah I’m at that place you and Eric recommended; Maz’s.”

 

“Oh! That place is great! Who are you there with?”

 

Rey didn’t know why but for some reason she flushed a little pink at admitting to Rose who she was with.

“Um… I’m here with um… Ben.”

 

“Ben? Ben who?” Rose asked, having no idea who Rey could be talking about. They didn’t know anybody named Ben.

 

She was quiet for a moment, obviously wracking her brain when it clicked.

 

“You’re on a date with Professor Solo?!” Rose asked in utter disbelief.

 

“Not exactly… It’s not a ‘date’. We’re just getting a drink and chatting.”

 

“Did he ask you out?” Rose inquired.

 

“Technically yes, he did but—“

 

“Then this is a date!” Rose stated again.

 

“Don’t be ridiculous. It’s 2018! A single heterosexual male and female can have a drink together without it having a label thrown on it. I assure you, it’s completely platonic.”

 

“Uh huh.” Rose said knowingly. “Then why are you blushing.”

 

Rey had already felt her face warm the moment Rose realized who she was with, let alone started making assumptions about the nature of their relationship. How did she know her so well?!

 

“Okay, I’m hanging up now.” Rey stated evenly.

 

“Have fun on your date! I want details!” Rose rushed out teasingly before Rey pressed the end button and returned her phone to her purse, making sure it was on silent. She took a moment to compose herself before heading back inside.

 

Rey slipped back into her seat. Ben turned towards her, a goofy close lipped half grin graced his face the moment he looked at her and for some reason, it made Rey’s heart flutter in her chest.

 

 _‘IS this a date?’_ she wondered.

 

Suddenly, Rey felt like _she_ might need more than a drink or two as well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These two are super confused with their budding...what-have-you's.  
> But not to worry, they will sort and figure out their shiz very soon! 
> 
> As always...
> 
> KUDOS ARE COOL, COMMENTS ARE FUEL!


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben paused mid sip and stared at her. 
> 
> “What?” She asked.
> 
> “Go back to what you said before.”
> 
> “Which part?” 
> 
> “The part where you said that you’ve never had great sex.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

> The Mirror Has Two Faces

A Reylo AU

 

 

By the time Rey and Ben had finished their 2nd round, the two of them were now comfortably chatting away, seeming to anybody that heard them as if they had been long time friends.

 

That’s the beauty of alcohol. All awkwardness and inhibitions; gone leaving easy humor and numbness in its wake.

 

Maz had brought over some bar snacks for the two and checked on them often. She casually intervened herself into their conversation with a snarky comment, usually towards Ben which made Rey snigger and Ben scowl which only fueled Rey’s jubilance.

 

“So… Dameron and your friend, huh?” Ben inquired as he sipped his drink and munched on a piece of pop corn, chewing slowly. Every time he put a piece of pop corn in his mouth, Rey’s eyes were drawn to his lips which made Ben smirk to himself. Rey didn’t even realize she was doing it.

 

“Yep! I absolutely _love_ them.” Rey said fondly as the alcohol started to warm her insides. “I’m actually excited for them, you know? I know they’re getting married in Europe but when they get back, Finn said they are going to have a small get together with family and friends. That should be a _lot_ of fun. Poe definitely knows how to throw a party.” Rey said.

 

“I’ve heard. He throws staff parties at his place sometimes.”

 

“I know. I mean, I’ve only been to a few. Come to think of it, I’ve never seen _you_ at one.”

 

“Parties aren’t really my thing.” Ben said. “I’ve been told I’m sort of a Debbie Downer.”

 

“Nooo, you?” Rey said, her voice dripping with sarcasm.

 

“Laugh it up, sweetheart. You said you’d only been to a few. Doesn’t sound like you’re the life of the party either.”

 

“You’ve got me there. I definitely try and make myself a bit invisible at parties. And I usually don’t stay very long if I do show up at all.”

 

“How come?” he asked.

 

“Because usually it’s just me surrounded by couples, which I’m used to I guess but then start the questions. ‘Are you dating anyone? You’re so nice, how come you’re single? Are you gay? What’s your type?’ and by the end of the night, I’m always being tossed into some sort of set up and being offered up men left and right by people who think they know better than me and want to play matchmaker. Like ‘oh, I have this cousin’ or ‘my brother is recently divorced’ or ‘my friend would love you’ or ‘how do you feel about older men.’ And so over time I’ve grown bored of answering the same questions over and over and learned to just stay away. It’s less tiresome.”

 

“God, I know how _that_ feels.” Ben put his head back and looked towards the ceiling. “It’s the worst.”

 

“The absolute worst.” Rey agreed.

 

“Actually, no.” He corrected. “The _worst_ part is when they pity you. Like being single is some sort of disease or criminal offence.”

 

“Right? Like I don’t have a boyfriend so I obviously must be defective.”

 

“Or crazy.” He added

 

“Or have emotional issues.”

 

“Or anger problems.”

 

“Or I’m frigid.”

 

“Or I’m emotionally closed off.” He stated.

 

“I’m sexually frustrated.” Rey admitted.

 

Ben opened his mouth to add onto their list but he choked on his words as her admittance hit him. His eyebrows almost disappeared into his hairline and he slowly turned his head to look at her.

 

Rey, realizing what she said, continued. “You know…they assume.”

 

Ben must have bought her cover up and fell silent before offering, “Being single sucks.”

 

“It fucking sucks.” She spat.

 

They looked at each other and smiled.

 

“I would like to know the answers to those questions, by the way.” Ben goaded.

 

“Which ones?” she asked, intrigued.

 

“Are you seeing anyone… do you like older men… d _o_ you, um, like women?” Ben teased trying to hold back a smile, failing miserably.

 

Rey giggled and said “No, I’m not seeing anyone anymore as you already know. I don’t mind older men; they definitely get hotter with age. And… wouldn’t you like to know?” She waggled her eyebrows at him.

 

Ben swallowed hard and blushed. Rey let him stew for a moment before taking pity on him and nudged him with her shoulder. “While there are a number of women out there that I admire or am fond of, unfortunately its men that do it for me.”

 

Ben let out a breath he didn’t know he had been holding. “Older men, apparently.” He smiled warmly at her.

 

“Not too old. Mid to late 30’s would do just fine.”

 

“Aww too bad I’m only 32. Just missed the cut off requirements.”

 

Rey laughed and he continued, “Not enough salt mixed in with the pepper.” He said gesturing towards his hair.

 

“Don’t sell yourself short, Solo. You’re quite a catch.” She nodded toward him. “And don’t you dare insult that luxurious mane! You’ve got a _great_ head of hair.”

 

And then, before she could stop herself, Rey reached out and swept her fingers through his thick, dark locks. Ben instinctively leaned into her touch and looked at her. Rey wasn’t sure how long they sat there; their eyes searching the others as she basically pet him.

 

Maybe it was the alcohol. Maybe it was the look in his dark eyes that seemed to turn from bewilderment to something resembling hunger the moment her fingers started to thread through his silken strands. Perhaps it was the dark lighting of the bar or a mix of all three but Rey found she was completely unwilling and unable to withdraw her fingers from him. She found the texture of it addicting.

 

Ben’s hair was the softest thing Rey could have ever imagined.

 

Maz chose that moment to walk up to them and replace their now empty glasses with full ones. “Careful, Rey. Don’t coddle him too much. He might actually grow a brain and realize he can’t live with you and then you’ll never be rid of him.”

 

Rey lowered her hand and regarded Maz before looking at Ben inquisitively. Ben let out an annoyed sigh and Maz harrumphed before going about her business and tending to her other patrons.

 

 _What_ was going on between these two? Rey couldn’t take it anymore, she had to know.

 

“Alright, _what_ is with the animosity between you two? She seems to like you but also wants to make sure you understand that you’re a thorn in her side. What is that about?”

 

Ben looked down into his beer awkwardly. When he finally spoke, it was slow and spaced out, choosing his words carefully.

 

“Maz is… she was my… she’s kinda like… she’s a family friend.”

 

“Elaborate, please.” Rey urged.

 

Ben sighed. “She _was_ my grandmother’s best friend. After she passed away, Maz made it her duty to look after my mother and basically raised her.”

 

“If she raised your mum, your grandmother must have been very young when she died?”

 

Ben nodded, slowly. Rey wanted to question him further about his grandmother but decided she would table that for another time.

 

“Alright, so if she’s close with your mum, why does she seem so annoyed by you?”

 

Ben took in a deep breath and slowly exhaled. “Because I don’t really talk to my mother… or my father. Or any of my family, really.” Rey wasn’t sure but she could have sworn that something resembling guilt flashed across his features. “And Maz likes to makes it abundantly clear whenever we run into each other that she thinks me juvenile and pigheaded and urges me at every turn to reach out to them.”

 

“Well, shouldn’t that be a two way street? Do they try and reach out to you?”

 

“Yes.” Ben said, not looking at her. “All the time.”

 

Rey sat there for a moment sipping her drink, a little taken aback. Here this man sat, rejecting the people that obviously loved him, wanting to be a part of his life yet he rebuffed them. He had a family. What she wouldn’t give to be in his shoes.

 

But before Rey started lecturing this man she knew very little about, she thought perhaps she would let him explain.

 

“I’m a little confused.” She said, turning towards him on her bar stool. “What could they have possibly done to merit you essentially cutting them out of your life?”

 

“I haven’t cut them out. I just—I just don’t want to talk to them or see them.” Ben said with a little humor at the edge of his tone.

 

Rey shook her head, still completely lost.

 

“I’m sorry, isn’t that literally what cutting people out means? Not seeing them or talking to them?”

 

“It’s not that I’ve cut them out of _my_ life. It’s more—“ He struggled to find the words. “It’s more that I’ve cut myself out of theirs. People seem to do better when I’m not around.” He finished solemnly.

 

“Ben,” Rey placed a hand softly on his shoulder as she spoke. “That can’t be true. I think you’re being a little dramatic.”

 

Ben stiffened at her words but did not shy away from her touch. “Forget it. You wouldn’t understand.” He said shaking his head, popping a pretzel into his mouth. “Let’s just talk about something else.”

 

Rey patted his shoulder in mock affection. “Alright mister-broody-temperamental-and-secretive.”

 

Ben looked at her with mock offence. “I am _not_ broody!”

 

She glanced back at him with a raised brow. “You’re a little broody.”

 

They stared at each other, Rey’s mouth cracking into a smile as she teased him. Ben’s gaze flickered to her mouth before returning back to his beer. “Okay, fine. I’m a little broody. But I’m an English major! We’re all like this.”

 

Rey laughed, her entire face lighting up. Ben smiled softly as he watched her, thinking to himself that he had never seen something more endearing.

 

“Okay your turn, miss—“ Ben attempted to tease her in the same manor she does him. “—miss-face-lights-up-when-she-laughs. What’s your story?”

 

Rey threw her head back and laughed even harder. “That’s not how you do it!” Rey said between giggles. “You’re not supposed to compliment me, you’re supposed to poke fun at me!”

 

“Alright well I guess I need some practice, then.” Ben smirked, his eyes alight with warmth.

 

Rey’s laughs died down and a silence settled upon them as they regarded each other.

 

“No, really. What about you?” Ben asked, breaking the silence. “What’s your family like? All sunshine and rainbows, no doubt. You probably talk to your mother on the phone every day and your dad sends you care packages in the mail monthly with all your favorite things from home.”

 

Rey’s smile completely melted and was replaced with something sad and forlorn. When she didn’t answer, Ben continued.

 

“Am I right? I’m right, aren’t I? Of course! The prefect girl with the perfect family.” Ben said with a smile, trying again at an attempt to tease her.

 

That’s when he saw it. The mask of utter despair she now wore. Her body language which had been so open to him previously had completely changed.

 

Rey was slightly turned way from him now, her shoulders hunched, hugging herself around the waist. Her head bowed and her eyes were down cast. Ben wasn’t sure what he had said but he knew that it was something that was causing her great upset. Ben’s smile faded and panic started to settle into his bones as he wondered what he’d done to make her look so completely despondent.

 

Concerned, he turned towards her in his seat and placed one hand on the small of her back, swiveling her stool towards him with the other, forcing her to look at him.

 

“Hey, hey.” He said gently. “What’s wrong? What did I say?”

 

“It’s nothing.” Rey said dismissively. She gave him a small watery smile, urging the tears that threatened to spill from her eyes to stay put, trying to escape his concern. Ben was having none of it.

 

“I’ve obviously said something that upset you.” He held her gently in place. “Please, I’m sorry. Tell me what’s wrong. Maybe I can help?”

 

Rey took a deep breath. “What you said—about my parents—“, Rey started but nothing more came out. Ben urged her to continue by rubbing her back soothingly, his thumb massaging slightly at the muscle he found under his touch. Rey let out a huge breath and just… let go.

 

“The last time I saw my parents, I was five years old. They sat me down on some steps in front of a building about forty minutes outside of London and told me not to move from that spot and to wait for them. I waited all day and all night for them to come back. I didn’t move. I didn’t talk to anybody. I just sat there and waited for them.” Rey’s eyes swam with tears but she continued.

 

“What I didn’t know at the time is that the steps they had left me on was actually an orphanage. And that’s where I spent the next 13 years of my life. That’s where I grew up.” She said matter-of-factly, composing herself slightly. “I was raised by harsh women that cared little about my wellbeing and a man named Unkar Plutt, a terribly cold Albanian man that ran the place, who enjoyed taking his aggressions out on the children that were housed there. I left as soon as I turned 18 and got as far away from there as I could and finally ended up here after meeting Finn and Rose in New York. Rose got a job out here after getting her teaching degree and Finn and I followed. The rest you know.”

 

Ben lowered his head, silently berating himself for how callously he had teased her. “Rey I—“

 

“—so no.” She interrupted and stared at Ben with a small glimmer of anger. “I don’t talk to my mother every day on the phone. And my father doesn’t send me heartfelt care packages in the mail. They don’t call me on my birthday. They don’t fly out to see me on holidays or care about who I’m dating or if I’m eating enough. They’ll never voice their opinions or tell me I’m making the wrong decision or ask me about my friends or work or tell me that my hair’s too long and I need it cut or give me shit about the types of clothes that I wear and the worst part is that they will never see that the daughter that they deemed not good enough to care for has made something of herself... despite their jilting.”

 

She finished, angry tears now spilling down her cheeks. “But I’m certainly not perfect, Ben. And neither was my family. Far from it, actually and I just—“

 

Rey didn’t continue and let whatever she was going to say die on her tongue as Ben hushed her soothingly, placing a large warm hand on the back of her neck as he brought her forward toward him and touched his forehead to hers, his thumb gently rubbing at her hairline.

 

“I’m sorry.” He whispered. “I’m sorry, Rey.”

 

“It’s alright, you didn’t know.” She said closing her eyes, enjoying his closeness.

 

“But I shouldn’t have assumed. I shouldn’t have said anything. I should have just let you talk.” He grimaced. “See? This is why people do better when I’m not around. Me and my big mouth, always saying the wrong thing.”

 

Rey offered him a small smile and pulled away to look at him. She placed her hand on his cheek so he’d meet her eyes, their faces mere inches apart.

 

“I like your big mouth.” Rey said quietly, not realizing the implication of her words. Ben’s eyes wondered from her wet eyes down to her lips and licked his own, wetting them, slowly leaning toward her. Rey’s eyes instinctively fluttered closed as Ben’s hand lingered on her face,  gravitating towards each other, Ben’s lips parted, almost touching hers...

 

“Another round?” Maz asked, her voice interrupting the moment.

 

Ben turned his head and shot daggers at the infuriating older woman. Rey sat back on her stool, turning back toward the bar, her cheeks flushed a deep shade of pink.

 

“No thanks, Maz.” Ben said through gritted teeth. “Just the check will do.”

 

Maz eyes flickered between Ben and Rey and a knowing smile played at her lips. “On the house.” She said grabbing their glasses and walking away before turning back to them. “Oh and Solo?”

 

 Ben cocked an aggravated eyebrow at her.

 

“Call your mother.” She turned towards Rey, “Rey dear, it was so nice to meet you. I hope you’ll come back and see me again soon.”

 

“Thanks, Maz. I will. Nice to meet you too.” Rey said smiling at her. She wasn’t sure why but she really liked Maz.

 

Ben and Rey made their way out onto the sidewalk.

 

“Well, I’m this way.” Rey said gesturing down the street.

 

“I know.” Ben said with a smile.

 

“Right.” Rey closed her eyes and shook her head, remembering he had accompanied her only a few nights ago.

 

“I’ll walk you home.” Ben said starting to walk down the street. Rey fell in line with him and they walked a few blocks in comfortable silence.

 

“Where do you live, Ben?”

  
“Not too far. I live in an apartment over on Dathomir Place. But for the past few years I’ve been _trying_ to get into this other building over on Takodana Blvd, the brownstones by the water. Do you know of them?”

 

“Sure I do! That place is super expensive and a little hoity toity if you ask me.”

 

“They’re the best in town. The building is one of the oldest buildings around here. It was remodeled a few years ago. It has exposed brick, reclaimed hard wood floors, brand new state of the art appliances, crown molding in every room, 3 levels, 10 ft ceilings...”

 

“Sounds perfect.” Rey said. “So, what’s the problem?”

 

“Every time one becomes available and I apply, my application gets rejected.”

 

“What? How is that possible? You’ve got to be _thee_ ideal candidate for that place. Doesn’t your coworker Hux live in one?”

 

Ben’s mood darkened slightly and he grumbled “Yeah. Him and his wife, Phasma moved in last fall.”

 

“Phasma… isn’t that Headmaster Snoke’s secretary?”

 

“Yeah.” Ben scowled. “Yeah that’s how they met, actually. Snoke introduced them back when Hux first landed the job as head of the math department and they hit it off right away.”

 

“Is he a friend of yours?” Rey asked, confused why Ben’s mood had suddenly changed talking about the red head and his wife.

 

“Sort of. Hux and I along with your friend Poe, as you know, are part of the First Order Academic Committee. We don’t always get along but we have the same goals and ideas for the future of the university.

 

“Ah.” Rey said as she let him talk. “So that doesn’t answer why this fancy schmancy condo building keeps rejecting you.”

 

“Well, you need board approval from the board of directors of the building. Every time I’ve applied, I haven’t even been able to move on to the interview process.”

 

“You have to interview to live there like you’re applying for a job?!” Rey asked, dumbstruck. “That’s ridiculous! You’ve got a great job; you’re a respected professor of academia. You’re well presented, well spoken, clean… what reason could they _possibly_ give you why they won’t let you live there?”

 

“Simple. I’m not married.”

 

Rey stopped dead in her tracks.

 

“What?!”

 

“What can I say? The board favors married couples to add to their ‘small town ideals’ so that they can uphold the standard of ‘the finest luxury for family living.’” Ben air quoted as he too stopped walking and looked at Rey.

 

“That’s…that’s just... utter BULLSHIT!” Rey bellowed. Ben blinked in surprise at her outburst. “How can they possibly turn away a well suited candidate because they’re not married! That’s discrimination! You’re being punished because you’re single!”

 

Rey started walking again, her footsteps even faster then before. Ben was reminded of the other night, learning that the more heated she became; the faster her feet seemed to carry her.

 

“It’s not just them. A lot of things are easier when you’re married. I’m up for tenure this year and I’ll probably be passed over for someone who has their life together… married… kids… apartment… job. Those things usually go hand in hand.”

 

“It’s complete bullocks.” Rey spat. “It’s the same with my visa.  I have to reapply this year and it’s going to take _so_ much effort to stay here yet if I was to get married, they would literally hand me a green card.”

 

“And when you’re married you get breaks on your taxes.” Ben added.

 

“And you’d always have someone to go to parties with so you’re never asked questions about your love life since it’s on display right in front of them.”

 

“ I never really understood why people care so much about other people’s love lives. The few times a year I _do_ speak with my parents, all they seem interested in is if I’ve met anybody and if I say I’m not dating, my mom starts in with the ‘I’m going to die without ever being given grandchildren.’ like it’s my destiny to produce offspring.” Ben snidely commented.

 

Rey nodded in agreement.

 

“I want to apply for a loan in a few months to expand the café and do you know how much more I’d be granted if I were to pair another salary with my own? Finn can’t apply with me now that he’s getting married because Poe still has piles of student loans coming out his bottom not to mention the fancy car Finn just had to have after we opened the café so it’ll all be on me. He’d help pay it off, of course but I’ll barely be approved for anything with what I bring in after taxes and overhead meaning I can’t expand which means I can’t make more money. The business has been doing so well and expanding to include more sit down room would accommodate more customers. We have walk outs daily because of how busy we get and the wait is so long for brunch on Sundays. Making the café bigger would only mean bringing in higher revenue. But once again, I’m single, so I’m screwed.”

 

“Rey.” Ben said interrupting her tirade. “You’re spiraling.”

 

“I know, I’m sorry. It’s just—this topic gets me a little heated.”

 

“Yeah, me too.”

 

Ben and Rey had slowed their pace as Rey’s anger seemed to dissipate and they neared the café.

 

“You know what would be perfect? If you and I just got married! That would solve all our problems, wouldn’t it?” Rey said with a laugh.

 

Now it was Ben’s turn to stop in his tracks.

 

“It would just be so—Ben?” Rey turned around and regarded him. She couldn’t quite read his face. She immediately mistook his halt in movement and placid demeanor as anxiety.

 

“Ben, I was kidding.” Rey started to move towards him with caution, her hands raised in front of her as if she were approaching a skittish animal. “I wasn’t actually suggesting we get married! Don’t look so panicked.” Rey said with humor wishing that he would stop furrowing his brows.

 

 _‘Nice work, dummy.’_ She mentally scolded.

 

Ben cleared his throat and started walking again.

 

“Ben?”

 

“Hmm?” He answered, his thoughts seeming far away.

 

“Are you—are you alright?”

 

“Yeah, I’m fine. Why?” He said flatly, not looking at her.

 

“Because I said the word married and you looked like you wanted to vomit. I said I was just kidding; I don’t actually want to marry you. I don’t want to marry anyone.”

 

Ben looked at her and offered her a quick smile and then once again regained his pensive expression.

 

“I know. I know you were.”

 

Ben was quiet the rest of the walk back to her place. Rey was mentally kicking herself all over the sidewalk at the stupidity of her words.

 

 _‘Nice one. Hang out with him twice and you propose marriage. Not pathetic at all, you desperate, needy idiot’_ She thought to herself. _‘Even if it was a joke, who knows what he must think of you now.’_

When they reached the café, Ben still hadn’t said anything.

 

“Well thanks for the drinks and for the walk home…” Rey attempted. “Are you hungry? I can fix something for you for dinner maybe.” She was trying hard to make up for her blubbering stupidity but Ben didn’t seem to want to accept her peace offering.

 

“No thanks. I’m good.” He said holding up the brown paper bag from earlier. “Still have my salad that I didn’t eat.”

 

“Right.” She said looking down at her feet.

 

“I’ll see you tomorrow.”

 

“Will you?” Rey looked up at him, hopeful.

 

“Yeah, of course. Unless someone else does the lunch deliveries tomorrow.”

 

_‘Duh, Rey.’_

“Ben, is everything okay? Look I’m sorry if I somehow upset you with what I said about us—“

 

“—Don’t worry about it.” Ben cut her off, giving her a small pat on the shoulder and a small smile. “Goodnight, Rey.” And with that, he turned on his heels and walked home.

 

Rey went upstairs to her apartment, turned on the TV, changed into comfy clothes and threw a frozen pizza in the oven.

 

Why had what she said upset him so? Why was he acting like she had actually been serious when she assured him multiple times that she wasn’t?

 

Slightly annoyed, Rey picked at her pizza and went to bed early that night.

 

 

***

The next day, Finn came over with a plethora of different sized boxes to start packing his stuff. Rey couldn’t bare to watch so she went down to wait on customers with Kay even though it had slowed down from earlier now that it was the lull between breakfast and lunch.

 

Rey couldn’t stop thinking about yesterday’s altercations with Ben. They had such a great time at the bar. He had been so attentive when she spoke about her parents, so caring. She had never gotten that reaction before with the few people she had told about her past. His eyes were squeezed so tightly as lay his forehead against hers. It was as if he could feel her sorrows, her pain, her sadness. It was touching and it made her heart skip a beat each time she thought about that moment.

 

And he had opened up to her too, albeit only slightly, about his family. He walked her home again. She still wasn’t sure if it was even a date! And then she had to go and ruin it by making dumb jokes that probably scared the shit out of the poor guy.

 

 _‘Ben isn’t the only one with a big stupid mouth.’_ Rey shook her head to push away the memory that made her wince every time she thought of it and finished restocking the refreshment area with sugars, stirrers, cream, milk and lids.

 

The lunch rush came and went and Ben never called to place in his order. Rey met Rose over lunch in her office, bringing her her sandwich, sitting with her while she ate. She had taken her time walking from the café to the west campus, hoping to maybe run into Ben but she didn’t see him.

 

Rose had noticed that Rey was too quiet and started to needle her.

 

“What’s up?” she asked between chews.

 

“Nothing. I’m fine.” Rey said, looking out the window at the campus grounds.

 

”Well that’s great and all but I didn’t ask how you were, I asked what was up.” She corrected. “You’re quiet today.” Rose cocked her head to the side as she regarded her friend. “How was your date?”

 

Rey rolled her eyes at her. “It wasn’t a date. We just had a few drinks and talked.”

 

“Did he kiss you?” Rose wiggled her eyebrows and pursed her lips and made kissy noises.

 

“Ugh, Rose don’t be crass. And no, we didn’t kiss. Although—“

 

Rose sat up straighter and leaned forward in her chair. “Although?”

 

“Although, there was a moment where I thought maybe he wanted to but the moment was interrupted and then that was that.” Rey said thinking about how close his lips had been to hers, the feel of his hands on her neck, the smell of his cologne. Something spicy and woodsy and just so ‘ _Ben_ ’, it made her mouth water thinking about it.

 

“Doesn’t matter.” Rey swallowed. “Date or no date, I completely ruined it.”

“I doubt that. I saw professor Solo earlier today and noticed that he had a weird look on his face. To my surprise I realized that the weird look was actually a _smile_! I had never seen him smile before, I wasn’t sure what I was witnessing.”

 

Rey giggled at her friend and they finished their lunch talking about Rose’s trip to Arizona and her plans while she was there.

 

***

 

At a quarter after 6, Rey finally closed the door of Niima Cafe and turned the sign in the window that read ‘open’ to ‘closed’. Rey wiped down the counters and was about to start putting away clean mugs when she heard the bell above the door ding.

 

“I’m sorry, we’re closed.” She said turning around. Much to her surprise, there stood Ben Solo, his hand still on the door.

 

“Oh. It’s okay, I can come back tomorrow if you’re—”

 

“No, no!” She exclaimed. “It’s fine, please come in.” Rey said, coming around the counter to face him, wiping her hands on a dish towel that she then slung over her shoulder.

 

Ben looked around a minute and then walked further into the room, shutting the door behind him. He sat in the nearest seat only to get back up again and then sit back down. He ran his hands through his hair a few times, not saying anything. He looked… very, _very_ nervous.

 

“Ben, is everything alright?”

 

He didn’t say anything as he stood up again and paced back and forth a few times, not looking at Rey. Finally, he spoke, coming to stop before her.

 

“I’ve been thinking about what you said yesterday.”

 

_‘Oh, boy. Here we go.’_

This is the part Rey had been waiting for. He was here to tell her that he didn’t wish to continue their— whatever this was— anymore. All because of a stupid joke. This time when Rey thought about it, she wasn’t mad at herself. She was mad at him.

 

“Fine. Whatever. Say what you came to say and get out so I can close.”

 

“What? Why are you mad?” He asked, his brows furrowed in confusion.

 

“Why are _you_ mad? I told you multiple times yesterday that what I said was in jest. I had absolutely no intention of offending you or whatever it is that you’re feeling. I wasn’t actually suggesting we get married!”

 

“No that’s just it, Rey!” Ben said, gabbing her lightly by the shoulders. “I think we _should.”_

 

She had to have heard him wrong. Did he just say what she thinks he said?

 

“I beg your pardon? You’re not actually suggesting that you and I—“

 

“You thought I was angry with you?” Ben was slightly taken aback at the thought that she would think him angry with her over something so trivial. “I wasn’t mad, I was lost in thought because it was an absolute brilliant idea! And the more I thought about it, the more sense it made. Think about, Rey...” He took a step closer to her before continuing.

 

“We’re both successful, well put together individuals with good heads on our shoulders. We have our shit together professionally but we both seem to be an absolute hopeless mess when it comes to relationships.” Ben started walking mindlessly around the room as he spoke. “I know this is a lot and I agree. But I still think we should just go for it. It wouldn’t be so weird. Think of it like a business arrangement.”

 

Rey was about to tell him to get bent. He had to be messing with her. But something about the way he stood before her told her that he was serious and Rey couldn’t deny that some part of her was vaguely intrigued.

 

“Alright, Solo. Proposition me. Pitch me this business deal of yours.”

 

Ben’s face lit up at the opportunity she had given him to continue.

 

“So the apartment I want caters mostly to married couples, right? So that’s the first benefit. It’s big enough that we could share it. It would suck to live there alone and I don’t really want to deal with getting a roommate. In turn, you could rent out the apartment upstairs here and you’d be making a profit.”

 

“I live upstairs basically for free, it’s included in the mortgage on this place. How would I be making money if I’m to move in with you and would now have to pay rent?”

 

“You wouldn’t have to pay anything. I can pay the rent on my own.”

 

“Ben, I couldn’t let you do that. I’d need to pay my share.”

 

“There’s no need. I have plenty of money and I was fully willing to live there by myself before but with this—“ Ben gestured between the two of them, “—arrangement, I wouldn’t have to.”

 

Rey thought about it for a moment. Her place upstairs was small and without Finn, she would be living alone. The place that Ben wanted to move into was beautiful! A place that Rey would have never even dared imagine herself living. But she still had her pride and she had never accepted hand outs from anybody before and she wasn’t about to start now. She always did it on her own.

 

“I’m sorry, I can’t do that. I’d have to pay you something.”

 

Ben thought a moment. “Well, do you pay for things like utilities? Cable, electric, heat, water, groceries…”

 

“I do pay for those things but it wouldn’t even cover half of—“

 

“So then you can pay for those things and I’ll pay the rent. But we’ll split the groceries.”

 

“Ben. This is ludicrous. We’re not getting married so you can get an apartment!”

 

“Just hear me out. _We_ get the apartment. You get a visa! I get a better shot at tenure, you get a second salary to add to yours for your loan.”

 

Rey pondered what he was saying. She had to admit, they were pretty valid arguments.

 

Was she actually entertaining this as an option? This was crazy!

  
“Rey, I know it sounds crazy.” Ben said as if reading her mind. “But I guarantee you, it would work. It’ll stop all those nagging questions that people always have. My parents would get off my back about relationships.” He was quiet for a moment as if he hadn’t thought of his parents until just now.

 

“I’ll accompany you to movie nights and dinners with your friends and be the perfect doting husband. You could come with me to all the charity benefits and faculty dinners I’m forced to always attend, usually alone. It would be nice to share my life with someone. I know you understand that.”

 

She did. God, did she ever! What he was offering was so tempting, so enticing. The though of being able to come home to someone every night, eat dinners with someone, watch TV with someone and always have someone to talk to and say goodnight or good morning to. It’s something Rey had always wanted but thought she might never be able to ascertain.

 

“We could work out all the details together. Rey—“ Ben reached out and gently took her hands, encasing them within his larger ones. “—say yes.”

 

“Ben, I—“

 

“Just say yes. Say you’ll marry me.” His eyes bore into her.

 

“Please.” He whispered.

 

Rey looked down at their joined hands. She knew what he was offering wasn’t what she had imaged a marriage to be. She always thought a marriage was two people loving each other unconditionally. Proposing down on one knee, kisses and arms and hands and passion and silly knick names for each other and traveling together and playful banter and quarrels over buying a house or what shows to watch and knowing how to make each other smile when they were mad, knowing each others favorite foods and colors and places. Knowing each others hopes and dreams and maybe even attaining some of them together.

 

But her life had never been like that. The harsh reality she was faced with fell severely short of the dream life she had always envisioned.

 

Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad. Maybe they could form their own version of a marriage complete with knowing each other the way a best friend does. They could be partners, a companion for one another. There may not be love in the traditional sense or sexual passion the way she’d always hoped to maybe one day find with someone but at least they wouldn’t have to be alone anymore. And that had to count for something.

 

But Rey was still apprehensive. So much had happened in the past few days, her head couldn’t process anything properly. She needed time to figure out her next move. She needed to think. She needed… for him to stop holding her hands and looking at her like that if this was _ever_ going to work!

 

Rey slowly removed her hands from his and took a step back.

 

“I can’t Ben. I can’t say yes. At least, not yet. I need to really think about this.”

 

Ben lowered his hands back to his sides and sat down at the nearest table.

 

“I completely understand. Take all the time you need.”

 

Rey excused herself for a moment and went to the kitchen to gather the ingredients she needed. When she reappeared, she started to steam some milk and suddenly a familiar aroma filled the air. A few minutes later, she returned to where Ben sat and placed two mugs of hot chai on the table and joined him. Ben offered her a thankful smile as he blew on the steaming beverage in an attempt to cool it before taking a long slow sip.

 

Rey watched as his eyes once again closed in appreciation for her favorite indulgence masquerading in the form of a chai tea latte.

 

They sat sipping in silence, the wheels in Rey’s head actively turning.

 

“What would we tell our friends?” she wondered aloud.

 

Ben snapped out of his reverie. “Well, we could come up with something we both found fitting together. I was thinking that while your friends are away, we could use this time to figure out all the minor little details and when they return we’ll just tell them that we fell hard for each other and decided to get married. People do that sort of thing every day.”

 

Rey looked at him with a raised eye brow. “Who are _these_ people?”

 

“I don’t know, but people do it. They fall madly in love and have quick engagements.”

 

“I don’t know if I could lie to them.”

 

“We’ll just say we decided that weddings weren’t our style and we just went down to the courthouse and got it over with which wouldn’t necessarily be a lie. That’s essentially what we’d be doing.”

 

“Well that’s all great and nice and everything but there’s one problem. We _aren’t_ madly in love with each other.”

 

“Yeah but they don’t know that. We could easily fake that level of affection. We both find each other attractive, I’m sure it wouldn’t be that hard.”

 

Rey scoffed and took a sip of her tea.

 

Ben leaned forward and raises his eye brows at her. “You _don’t_ think I’m attractive?”

 

“I didn’t say that...” Rey said, looking into her cup. “Do you— do you find me attractive?”

 

“Yes.” Ben said automatically. “Very.”

 

Rey flushed crimson and traced the mouth of her mug with her index finger, not looking at him. “Well… ditto.”

 

When she finally chanced a look up at Ben, there it was. That look she had come to know so well. It was a look that was full of heat. A look that made her brain think about things that she wasn’t supposed to be thinking about right now, especially with him. A look that was mixed with something sinister and dark and it made Rey’s nether region feel tingly and warm.

 

It was a look that brought to mind a question. A very important question that Rey hadn’t thought to ask until now.

 

“What about sex?”

 

Ben choked on the sip of tea he was in the middle of taking.

 

“I know that’s a loaded question but if we’re going to even _think_ about doing this, we have to address the elephant in the room.” Rey said as he coughed the liquid from his lungs.

 

By the look on his face, it was clear that Ben hadn’t thought of this little detail or if he had, he hadn’t expected her to ask about it.

 

“I’m not quite sure about that one. I mean, you’re beautiful and I definitely find you attractive but thankfully, you’re not exactly my type.” Ben stated nonchalantly. Rey couldn’t help but notice her shoulders slumped a little at his words.

 

“The point of all this is so we can both get what we’ve both always wanted. Sex tends to complicate things, especially for me. And the last thing we both want is for this to become… complicated. Besides…” Ben said with a playful smile on his lips, “Doesn’t sex usually stop when people get married?”

 

“That’s such a cliché. I know for a fact that Rose and Eric have plenty of sex.”

 

“Is it because they’re trying to procreate?”

 

“Well, I mean, they _are_ but—“

 

“Then I guarantee once they succeed in that aspect, the physical intimacy will wane.”

 

Rey rolled her eyes at him. “Whatever, it still doesn’t answer my question. Unless you’re suggesting celibacy in which case, I don’t think that’s something I can agree to. I _like_ sex. Even if it’s never been that great, it’s still something I enjoy from time to time. It’s like ice cream. I don’t love it but sometimes I get in the mood for it, ya know?”

 

Ben paused mid sip and stared at her.

 

“What?” She asked.

 

“Go back to what you said before.”

 

“Which part?” She asked confused.

 

“The part where you said that you’ve never had great sex.”

 

“Well, I haven’t.” Rey shrugged.

 

“What kind of inexperienced frat boys have you been dating?”

 

Rey laughed, a little embarrassed that the conversation had somehow taken a very wrong turn towards her unsatisfactory sex life.

 

“I don’t think it’s the men I’ve been with, necessarily. I think it’s me. I just can’t… I’ve never…” she made circles with her index finger, hoping he’d understand what she was saying without actually having to say it.

 

“Rey? Are you telling me that you’ve never had an orgasm before?” Ben’s head looked as if it were about to pop right off his neck, his eye brows higher than she had ever seen them.

 

“Of course I have! I’ve had plenty just not during… ya know… sex.”

 

“But you’ve had one with someone else doing other things, right?”

 

“No.”

 

Ben choked for the second time that night.

 

“So you’ve only had one by yourself? That’s it?!”

 

“I mean, yeah. Not that I do _that_ all that much but, yes. When the mood strikes, the only time I’ve been able to… ya know… has been solo.”

 

Ben couldn’t believe what he was hearing. No _wonder_ she wasn’t fond of relationships. What was the point if not to give each other as much sexual pleasure as humanly possible? It seemed that both their problems with relationships were because of the same reasons albeit in very different ways.

 

“I seem to have the opposite problem.” He said, taking a long slow sip from his cup.

 

Rey bit back a laugh and looked up at the ceiling to avoid his eyes. “Oh. That’s awful. I’m sorry, Ben.”

 

Ben looked confused. “What? What’s awful and why are you sorry?”

 

“Because I am.” Ben still looked confused so Rey continued, “Look, premature ejaculation isn’t anything to be ashamed of. Plenty of men suffer from—“

 

“What?! No! No! That’s not what I meant.” Ben corrected her. “I meant when it comes to sex, I’m a complete animal and it’s all I seem to want out of a relationship and I go out of my mind when I’m physically intimate with a woman. You thought I meant…”

 

“Oh. Oh! I… I thought because you said ‘opposite problem’, you meant that you…”

 

“Well, I didn’t. And I don’t, by the way.”

 

The room fell silent as they both looked in any direction besides the direction of the other person in an awkward attempt to forget that the last two minutes of the conversation had ever transpired.

 

“So… do we each just get a side piece then?” Rey said with a hint of mirth, hoping to make Ben smile to make up for accidentally bruising his ego. Instead, Ben huffed a laugh out his nose.

 

 _‘Even better.’_ Rey thought.

 

“No, I don’t think that would be a good idea either. If someone from work or one of your friends saw either of us with someone else, the jig would be up. We couldn’t risk it.”

 

“Okay so we’re back to square one.” Rey said, sipping her tea.

 

They were both lost in thought, trying to figure out a way around this.

 

“How about this.” Ben finally said. “We both try and go as long as we can and if the need ever… arrives for either of us, we agree to tell the other person and we’ll just, ya know, help each other out?”

  
  
Rey pondered this for a moment. “Could work. As I said, I don’t really care about sex all that much anyway.”

 

“And I emotionally don’t connect during sex so it’s perfect.”

 

“Alright then, deal.” She said.

 

“Deal.” Ben agreed and lifted his mug to toast hers.

 

They clinked their cups together and finished their tea.

 

 

***

Rey spent the next few days taking time to think over Ben’s proposal. They had both spoken a little more before he had left the café the other night in more detail. They would both keep separate banking accounts but open a joint account for household items and to use if they ever needed it on paper. They would tell her friends when _she_ was ready and he had agreed to letting her choose the story of how all of this went down.

 

When Ben had asked about her changing her last name, Rey had blatantly ignored the question and quickly changed the subject, giving Ben pause. She wasn’t ready to talk about that with him quite yet but she supposed that it was unavoidable if they were going to go through with this.

 

On Thursday, Finn had come by to pack the last of his things. Rey called Rose and couldn’t help but tear up a little when she told her that Finn was completely moved out. Tomorrow he and Poe would leave for Europe and with all the sudden changes in her life and her thoughts running rampant in her head, she needed a friendly ear and Rose’s voice helped sooth her anxieties.

 

After work, Rey finally allowed herself to go up to her apartment and stare at Finn’s now empty bedroom. Before he had left with the last of his boxes and bags of clothes, Finn had enveloped Rey in the tightest hug he had ever given her. They both shed a few tears and proclaimed their love for one another before she reluctantly had to let him go. She hugged Poe and bid them both farewell and safe travels.

 

“I can’t believe the next time I see you, I’ll be married.” Finn said. 

 

Rey so badly wanted to say that so might she.

 

***

Friday afternoon came around and Rey made her way through the campus delivering lunches to staff members and even some students in the dormitories near the university.

 

It was the last week of classes and most of the college kids had already packed up and gone home for the summer making the grounds look bigger than normal without so many people hurrying about. The corridors of both the east and west campus were empty and quiet. It seemed to emphasize Rey’s loneliness and in that moment, she missed Finn and Rose desperately.

 

Her thoughts turned to Ben.

 

Ben Solo had somehow become a constant in her life over the past few weeks. This sour grape of a man turned out to be warm and kind and not quite the asshole she once thought he was. Sure, he was broody and a bit of an ass at times but he certainly had his refining moments and Rey found herself thinking of him more often than she’d like to admit.

 

 _‘What would married life be like with a man like Ben?’_ She wondered.

 

He made her laugh easily and understood her in a way that Rose or Finn never could. In turn, she saw right through his antics of trying to be an uncaring monster and saw that there was a soft gooey center underneath the big bad exterior he liked to think he had which, if anything, it made one thing loud and clear.

 

Ben Solo had a good heart.

 

With that thought, Rey smiled to herself and with her last lunch delivery in hand, she made her way across the empty flowering grounds of Skywalker U and headed to room 111.

 

She had something she had to tell him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Phew! That was a long chapter, I know! But this was a BIG one! And YAY, the story now has more of a plot and I thank all those who have stayed with me and have given me such amazing feedback on this story both here and on Tumblr. I also want to thank the amazing Diasterisms for always inspiring me with ever chapter she posts. My head canons have spiraled out of control and that's where a lot of this stories scenes have come from. Basically, the hazy crazy daydreams of others fanfics.
> 
> Please let me know what you think in the comments, both good and bad.
> 
> #KudosAreCool
> 
> #CommentsAreFuel


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I do apologize in advance for this semi-shorter chapter. The last one was quite lengthy and the next one will also be longer as well but I found I could easily end this here without having to proceed forward BUT the next one will be a fun one, I promise! I wanted to get something out to commemorate this awesome sauce weekend with Adam being on SNL and it also being my 5 year wedding anniversary on 9/28! Hope you all enjoy. 
> 
> :-D

 

 

The Mirror Has Two Faces

A Reylo AU

 

 

The sun streamed through the high windows of the cathedral ceiling of lecture room 111. Particles of dust danced through the air, illuminated by the suns rays that beamed into the darkened classroom to cast directly unto the man sitting behind his desk grading papers as his class read quietly. His smooth pale skin shone alabaster and his hair reflected black gold, bathing him in luminous volumes of ethereal light like a follow spot as if he were appearing in the opening scene of some somber play.

 

The students that filled the room, like an audience, sat stationary in their seats waiting for their professor to address them.

 

“Everyone should be finished reading by now.” Professor Solo stated without looking up, breaking through the thickened silence. “I hope you can all comprehend what the author is trying to—“

 

“Professor Solo?” A small voice interrupted from the center of the room. Ben slowly raised his head to see a petite girl with chestnut colored hair and large brown eyes, subtly raising her hand. Her slight frame and dark lashes that swept her freckled cheeks made him think of Rey. He called on her by nodding in her direction.

 

“Correct me if I’m wrong and I’m sure that I am but…” she readjusted in her seat to comfort herself before continuing, “…is this a _love_ poem?!”

 

The girl looked perplexed as to why this stone heart of a man had given them something so intimately sappy to read, he almost took pity on her instead of calling her out for her redundancy as he normally would have.

 

_Almost._

“What do _you_ think it’s about?” Ben asked curiously. He got up out of his seat and made his way over toward the center podium.

 

The girl look down, slightly abashed, thinking his question was cynical.

 

“No miss Hart, I’m quite serious. What do you think the poem is about?” He pressed.

 

The student, Miss Hart, still looked apprehensive about responding. The mere fact that she was desperately afraid that she would have the wrong answer and he would once again chastise another student for their incoherent thought process on the subject matter at hand was enough to give him pause.

 

_‘What was it that Rey said? Something about finding what inspires you?’_

 

These students definitely were not that something. These lackluster, safe space seeking, entitled millennial’s could barely decipher an emotion unless it was portrayed in emoji form.

 

But what _did_ inspire him?

 

Before he could let his brain answer in the form of a name, a pretty face and a big beautiful smile filled his thoughts.

 

 _‘Rey.’_ He thought. _‘How would Rey handle this?’_

And just like that, he took a different approach.

 

_‘Let’s try something a little different.’_

 

“Go on, Miss Hart. I’d like to know your thoughts. What do you think this poem is about?” Ben said gently, not recognizing his own voice.

 

“A relationship?” she finally answered, tapping her pen against the desk nervously.

 

“Okay… good. That’s a good start. But can you elaborate? A relationship of what nature, exactly?” He urged her to continue.

 

When she didn’t, another arm slowly rose from the sea of students.

 

“Mr. Chambers.” Ben calls.

 

“I feel like the poem isn’t exactly about _just_ a relationship.” Mr Chambers said slowly. “It’s more like the culmination of a relationship. Like the excitement of spending your life with someone.”

 

“That’s right. That’s absolutely right.” Ben confirmed. “And how does one spend their life with someone? What does it start with?”

 

A boy with dark short hair half raises his hand. Ben calls on him.

 

“Getting married?”

 

“Yes!” Ben says, walking swiftly to the white dry erase board at the head of the classroom and writing _‘Marriage’_ in big sloppy letters. “And who here can tell me what exactly a marriage is?”

 

The class looked around at each other to see if anybody had the answer. It seems nobody did, so Ben continued.

 

“Marriage is nothing more than a ritual. Two people telling each other and those around them that they pledge themselves to one another until death do they part.” Professor Solo explained, using his hands to guide his speech in between breaks in his sentences. He started to slowly pace back and forth at the head of the large lecture hall as he spoke.

 

“But what happens after that? What happens after the ‘I do’s’? It’s hard to know because this ritual, a wedding ceremony, is the last scene of any fairytale. They never say what happens after Cinderella and the prince say ‘I do’ except for that they live happily ever after.” Ben paused to take in his audience.

 

For once, the usually listless looking class was attentive and focused on the deep velvet voice of their teacher instead of quietly doodling in their notebooks.

 

“Well… I call _bullshit._ ” He stated, enunciating the expletive. A few eye brows raised and some giggles erupted from the students.

 

“Nobody ever tells you what happens after this great romantic buildup abruptly end. These two people that have known each other for about five minutes somehow feel that they belong together because the shoe fits or because the beast turns back into a prince.”

 

Something was shifting. Ben was making eye contact; garnering the focus of the class and actually _speaking_ to them instead of lecturing to them. And so he continued.

 

“They never tell you that Cinderella incessantly cleaned the castle and drove the prince nuts! They don’t tell you that she’s diagnosed with OCD and now she and the prince have to go to marriage counseling and work on their communication. Or the beast, now in human form, is secretly into BDSM causing Belle to question her relationship with him leading to an unsatisfactory sex life which causes one or both of them to download Tinder and eventually swipe right.”

 

The room echoed with a chorus of more giggles and some full on laughter.

 

“They never say what happens after because there is no after. The be-all and end-all of romantic love is what? Mr Mitaka?” Ben pointed to the young man on the left side of the room.

 

“Sex!” He proclaimed, sure of his answer.

 

Ben’s lips twisted at the corners. “Marriage.” Ben reminded the now embarrassed young man.

 

“Marriage is portrayed to be the end-all be-all of romantic love _however_ it wasn’t always like that. The twelfth century had something they called ‘courtly love’, which had absolutely nothing to do with sex.”

 

“Ugh, what’s the point?” Mitaka said under his breath.

 

“The point is, and you’ll find as you go through life, that it’s not _all_ just about sex. Married ladies of the court and knights in the twelfth century figured this out. They had a relationship outside of that with their spouses that they could never act upon. Meaning that they could never consummate their love for one another. They felt they were able to rise above the ‘leaving the door open while you pee’ kind of love and went after something more amazing, something more profound.”

 

“Like what?” A girl with blonde hair in the front row breathlessly pondered aloud, literally on the edge of her seat for his answer.

 

“A union of souls.” He said looking directly at her before turning his attention to the rest of the class. “They took sex completely out of the equation! They had to because back then, sex was always the fatal knock at deaths door. A love potion so poisonous, they feared it.”

 

A few murmurs swept through the classroom in disagreement on how ‘that’s not a thing today’ but Ben’s voice was able to drown out the discussion and return all eyes to him.

 

“Alright, alright… I know. Nowadays, everyone would act on those feelings regardless of the promises or vows they had taken. Nowadays we have music, movies, reality TV all based on acting on the powerful pull of lust without caring very much for the repercussions of their actions. Hell, its how TMZ stays in business, right?”

 

Some more chuckles from the class.

 

“But look at the literature of the time. All sex could lead to was ostracization, madness, despair or death. Experts in the form of scholars, poets, writers, playwrights, they have always been united in one belief.”

 

Ben swept up behind the podium and rested his forearms against the wood grain in front of him and casually leaned against it, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose and back into place.

 

“True love has spiritual dimensions, yes. That’s what we’re all taught _but_ meanwhile we’re left with one truth which is that… romantic love is _bullshit_.”

 

More laughter reverberated through the room.

 

“Love is a myth! A manipulation. Think about it. When we go to the movies and the two main protagonists in the film that everybody ships _finally_ kisses, what happens? The music swells and we completely buy it which leads people to have such high expectations of romance that if they don’t hear a symphony of strings when they kiss, they change their relationship status on Facebook to single, right?”

 

The room was now clapping and laughing and murmuring their agreements.

 

“But why _do_ we buy it?” He paused, giving them all a moment to reflect on his questions. “Because the truth is that regardless of myth or manipulation, we all want to experience love. That feeling that drives people to greatness or pulls all of our hopes and dreams crashing to the ground makes us feel completely alive. Our everyday reality is shattered and we are flung into the heavens because of it. It may last a lifetime or only a moment but that still doesn’t diminish its value. We’re left with the memories of that beautiful, wonderful feeling. Of loving, of being loved… of knowing there is someone out there that makes us feel less alone in the world and we all fall for it. It’s the same feeling we get when we listen to La Boheme or Turandot or read Pride and Prejudice or watch Love Actually during the Holidays. A little of that love lives within us all for that one fleeting moment that the music hits it’s high crescendo or we see two lovers _finally_ professing their love for one another.”

 

Ben looked around the room and every pair of eyes was on him. The still beating hearts of the young men and women around him gazed at him and hung on his every word as he finally came to the finale of his thoughts.

 

“So… why do we fall in love? Why do we risk everything when in one second, it can all painfully and abruptly end and leave us with an aching, festering hole in our hearts, hmm? Why do it? Why fall in love?”

 

A few students shouted out their thoughts.

 

“—procreation!”

 

“Our need for a connection?”

 

“We’re culturally preconditioned?”

 

“Survival of the species?”

 

“All good answers and partially true but they’re all too scientific for me. I personally feel that even though it can completely suck and can be the most painful experience any of us will ever live through, while it does last…” Ben paused and looked around the room at the students leaning forward on their desks for his final delivery and although he couldn’t believe it, he allowed himself to smile as he ended his thought.

 

“It feels fucking fantastic.”

 

The room erupted in a boisterous maelstrom of hoots and claps as Ben nodded his head in appreciation for their attention and participation. He had never felt more connected to his students in his entire teaching career and that in and of itself was a great feeling.

 

“Alright guys, have a great summer. I’ll see you all in the fall.”

 

The class gathered their belongings and started to make their way out of the class room. On the way out the door, one student actually turned around and said, “Awesome class, Professor!” Another held up his fist to him waiting for what appeared to be a fist bump from the surprised teacher. Ben awkwardly balled his hand into a fist and quickly tapped it against the knuckles of the waiting student. Satisfied, the younger man smiled and made his way out the door.

 

Ben walked back to his desk and started putting his things away in his briefcase as the last of the students made their way into the hall. When he looked up, he was surprised to find Rey sitting in the center of the classroom waiting for him to acknowledge her presence.

 

“Hi.” He said giving her a small smile which she returned with a beaming one of her own.

 

“Hi.” She answered getting up and making her way toward him. “That was…” she started, unable to come up with the appropriate adjective.

 

“Was...?” He asked, waiting for her to finish her sentence.

 

“…really cool, Ben.”

 

If it were possible, the subtle hue of color that made its way across the sharp lines of Ben’s cheek bones made the pallidness of his long face look even more pulchitrudinous.

 

“How much did you hear?” Ben winced, looking at her for a reaction.

 

“I snuck in and ducked into a seat somewhere between bondage, discipline, sadism and masochism.” Rey teased, watching the tips of his ears flushed red.

 

Ben’s embarrassment flared.

 

“I’m surprised you even know what that is considering your recent confessions of a lackluster sex life.” He stated coolly as he finished packing up.

 

Rey’s mouth fell open in indignation and she blinked at him owlishly in disbelief.

 

Rey dropped his lunch bag on the desk and turned on her heels and stormed out of the classroom, slamming the door behind her.

 

Ben stood motionless for a moment before letting his pride melt away.

 

“Fuck.” He swore under his breath, grabbing his lunch and briefcase and swiftly made his way out of the room to catch up with Rey which was easy given the width of his strides.

 

“Rey! Wait, wait.” He grabbed a hold of her elbow, gently turning her to face him.

 

“What, Ben? Must we do this _every_ time we see each other? Why can’t you control that stupid temper of yours or at least filter it before your mouth makes a mess of things!” She demanded.

 

When he didn’t answer, Rey rolled her eyes, turned around and started to storm away again.

 

“You’re right.” Ben said loudly making her pause before she turned around again. “You’re right.” He said again, quieter. “I know how I can be.”

 

His eyes pleaded with her, begging her to understand him.

 

“I’m an asshole, Rey.” He said shaking his head slowly. “I’ve tried to tell you that since we met.”

 

“Bullshit.” She said.  Ben’s head snapped up in surprise.

 

“Excuse me?”

 

“You heard me. _Bullshit.”_ She walked slowly towards him as she spoke. “I don’t think you actually _are_ an asshole, Ben. I think it’s all an act so that you don’t have to deal with an emotion you don’t care to address at that particular moment. I think you care more than you actually let on and when you feel threatened in any way, you revert to cynicism to keep others at arms length so they won’t know that you’re actually upset or hurt! I made you feel embarrassed by poking fun at your wording during your lecture, which _was_ brilliant, by the way.”

 

Ben looked up into her eyes as she came to stand before him. She softened slightly at the raw vulnerability she saw within his gaze.

 

“You have to stop this. My innocently joking around with you doesn’t give you the right to insult or belittle me, _especially_ when you use my own insecurities against me. Insecurities that I _trusted_ you with!”

 

“I know.” He whispered, working his mouth the way he does. “Rey, I’m—“

 

“And believe you me; this will _not_ fly after we get married. There are things that both of us will have to change if we’re going to enter into this ridiculous arrangement and if you can’t keep your big mouth closed, we’re going to have a _lot_ of problems and I—“

 

Ben placed his wide palm gently over her mouth to silence her tirade as he stared at her with a look of utter awe. At his touch, Rey immediately stopped talking, her eyes wide on him as he slowly slid the hand covering her mouth to cradle against her cheek.

 

“Did you say what I think you said?” He asked hoarsely.

 

Rey nodded slowly at him.

 

“Are you sure?” He confirmed.

 

Again, she nodded, this time with a smile.

 

“Say it.” He coaxed.

 

“Not until you apologize.”

 

Ben’s lips twitched and he looked down at his feet letting his hand drop from her cheek down to entwine her fingers with his own.

 

“I find that I will probably be saying this to you quite a lot. It frightens me that perhaps you won’t believe me when I say it after having to repeat it so many times to you over the course of our friendship but please know that I am and always will be grateful to you if you will now and forever accept my apology and know that whenever I have to beg your forgiveness in the future, it’s because I am so very completely and truly sorry, Rey.” He looked back up into her eyes.

 

 _‘Damn, that was good.’_ She thought with annoyance.

 

“Fine.” She stated. “Apology accepted.”

 

They stood there awkwardly for a moment, not knowing who should speak next. Ben appeared as if he were waiting for something from her so she looked around the hallway as if trying to find it, as if it were magically cast somewhere in the space around them.

 

“Are you waiting for me to say something?” She asked, confused.

 

“Well, you had mentioned something a moment ago about when we get married, so I was just wondering if I missed part of a conversation somewhere.”

 

“Oh! Right. Right, yes.” Rey blinked rapidly at her idiocy. His apology and the feel of his hand in hers had thrown her for a loop and completely made her lose her train of thought. “I think we should do it.” She said firmly.

 

“Do… _it_?” Ben asked.

 

“Get married.” She plainly stated.

 

“Rey, I’m going to have to hear you say the words.”  He teased.

 

She rolled her eyes once more and said loud and firmly, “Yes, Ben. I will marry you, you complete dolt!”

 

Ben laughed a little and let her hand go so that it could encircle the slight curve of her waist and pull her closer. Instinctively, Rey surged up on her tip toes and wrapped her arms around his neck, her face pressing into the soft warmth of his neck as she smiled against his skin.

 

The celebratory hug that it was supposed to be stopped being as such when both of Ben’s arms came to snake around her waist and his hands ran the length of her spine and ended splayed across her lower back, his fingers just brushing below the belt line of her jeans. In turn, her hand came up the back of his head and buried itself somewhere in his hair. Her hips shifted slightly towards his, pressing herself so close to his person, not a breath of air could pass between the two. They were no longer hugging each other, they were—

 

— _holding_ one another.

 

Enveloping the other within their embrace.

 

Their breathing had also changed. It picked up and accelerated somewhere between the warmth of his hands and the slight tug of his hair in her fingertips.

 

Rey inhaled a shaky breath but it was slow and deliberate. She took all that he was into her lungs and held it there as they slowly drew apart, her nose lightly scraping against the stubble of his chin. His lips were barely ghosting across her forehead when finally she looked up at him, needing to see his face, his eyes…

 

And there they stood. Knowing that this next step would be the last in a long waltz of back and forth, push and pull, give and take. Steps that neither of them knew nor were they ready to make but still agreeing to plunge head first into the unknown. And wherever it led them, they were headed there together and moving in the same direction.

 

And so they both extracted themselves from one another and headed out the large, heavy doors of the east campus and stepped into the sunlight—

 

—together.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so I stole a bit of Ben's lecture from the film this fic is named after. (Ben=Babs right here, kids.) I changed some of it and reworded it a bit to fit the story but the flow and some wording is directly from the film and I didn't want to take credit for another writers work in any way.
> 
> Next chapter will be the "wedding" so be ready and prepared for some fluff, ya'll. *insert annoyingly obvious winky face*
> 
> KUDOS=COOL  
> COMMENTS=FUEL
> 
> FUEL MY PASSION FOR WRITING AND LEAVE ME A NOTE AND TELL ME YOUR THOUGHTS!
> 
> I love hearing from you guys. <3


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What was she so afraid of? They had gone over and over this and it wasn’t like this was even a real marriage! He was right; they didn’t have to do this. She could turn around and go back to the café and carry on as normal. Stay in her small apartment, watch as her friend’s lives advanced and hers stayed stagnant, eat the same frozen pizza on Friday nights and go home to deafening silence every day after work.
> 
> Or…
> 
> Or she could marry him. She could throw caution to the wind and take his hand and march into that courthouse and marry this strangely tall, dark haired enigma of a man that chose her. This man that understood the gnawing ache of loneliness as she did.

The Mirror Has Two Faces

A Reylo AU

 

 

On a rainy early morning in late June, a girl dressed in a backless tea length white silk dress with a light tulle overlay made her way towards city hall. Her hair was styled in loose glossy waves that dusted her freckled shoulders, now kissed golden by the summer sun. In her hand she donned a small gathering of wild flowers that she decided to grab last minute from the flower shop adjacent to Niima Coffee & Café.

 

It _is_ her wedding day, after all.

 

In the few weeks leading up to their impending nuptials, Rey and Ben had gotten together in a series of date-like meetings in attempts to work out all the details of their ‘marriage’. These encounters which consisted of easy conversation mixed with warm laughter and paired with good food seemed to ease both of their worries and quell any reservations they might have had going forward.

 

But still there was that… something between them. Something that made itself known at the must inconvenient of times. When their voices would quiet, their eyes seemed to finish the conversation, speaking silent words to each other in a language that neither of them spoke yet somehow managed understand.

 

All Rey knew is that when these moments occurred, a trickle of warmth crept up her neck and radiated into her cheeks as his eyes narrowed in on her own. What that meant, she wasn’t quite sure but she pushed it far enough down to ignore whatever is was as best she could whenever these moments transpired.

 

Regarding the should’s and shouldn’t’s of the ‘relationship’, they both knew a lot of the details they would have to work out as they came up situationally. At least they had the biggest things ironed out and that was their main focus before their appointment at the county clerk’s office.

 

When Rey had arrived at city hall on that Friday morning, the persistent rain had all but given up and only a light drizzle remained. The sun tried its hardest to peek through the gray moisture filled clouds, illuminating the wisps of fog that snaked around the buildings in the humid early morning air as she stood waiting.

 

Ben should be arriving any minute.

 

Suddenly, panic spread through her. What was she doing? Was she really going to go through with this?

 

 _‘I can’t do this.’_ She thought. _‘I can’t do this, I can’t do this, I can’t do this, I can’t do this, I…’_

Rey’s thoughts came to a screeching halt.

A man in a black suit that was tailor fit to hug the defined physique of that of a Greek God made his way through the fog. His dark locks a stark contrast to that of his pale face. His matching black tie hung around his neck like a bow encompassing a perfectly wrapped present that Rey desperately wanted to unravel and greedily peek at its contents.

 

Rey shook the thought from her head as the man made his way to stand before her.

 

“You wore a dress.” Ben stated, drinking her in from head to toe.

 

“You wore a suit.” She said with awe, taking in the shape of him as she placed her hand on the lapel of his jacket, smoothing it out.

 

“I thought it appropriate for the occasion.” He said with a small smirk.

 

Rey didn’t answer but trembled, a look of sheer panic evident on her pretty face.

 

Her jitters apparent; Ben reached up and grasped her hand that was still smoothing out the imaginary wrinkles of his jacket, stilling her movements. He ran his thumb lightly across her knuckles making an electric shock run through her and she retracted her hand as if burned.

 

Ben winced a little at her recoil.

 

“Where’s Kay?” He asked, trying to distract her.

 

Kaydel was supposed to be meeting them there to act as their witness. It was also convenient that she happened to be into photography (which Rey insisted should be a career move at this point instead of a hobby), _just_ so they could have a few photo’s to show when it came time to let the cat out of the bag to her friends.

 

“She should be here any moment.” Rey whispered, her voice small and breathy.

 

Rey wasn’t looking at him and instead, focused her attention on people idly walking to and fro across the street, her mind seemingly very far way.

 

“Rey, look at me.” Ben grasped her by the shoulders and bent down to her eye level.

 

She reluctantly met his gaze.

 

“We don’t have to do this. If you want out, it’s okay. Just say the word and we’ll forget this whole thing and go and grab some breakfast and life will continue on as it did before.” Ben averted his gaze from her and looked down at his feet. “I don’t want you having any regrets or resenting me or this in any way. You’re my friend now and you’ll still be my friend if you decide this isn’t what you want.”

 

Rey let out a breath she didn’t know she was holding. Just his reassurances calmed her and she looked up to study him.

 

He looked so hopeful as he stood there trying to shake away her anxieties. His expressive eyes held hers again as he silently soothed her, rubbing small circles on the rounds of her shoulders.

 

What was she so afraid of? They had gone over and over this and it wasn’t like this was even a _real_ marriage! He was right; they didn’t have to do this. She could turn around and go back to the café and carry on as normal. Stay in her small apartment, watch as her friend’s lives advanced and hers stayed stagnant, eat the same frozen pizza on Friday nights and go home to deafening silence every day after work.

 

Or…

 

Or she could marry him. She could throw caution to the wind and take his hand and march into that courthouse and marry this strangely tall, dark haired enigma of a man that chose _her_. This man that understood the gnawing ache of loneliness as she did.

 

_‘You’re not alone.’_

_‘Neither are you.’_

Rey remembered that night he first walked her home. They had reassured each other that both of them were present and valid. Wasn’t that what this was? Them reassuring each other in a more permanent way that neither of them would have to be alone anymore?

 

Rey smiled at Ben as he held her in place, searching her eyes for some semblance of confirmation that she wanted this as well.

 

Rey placed her hands on his triceps and leaned forward to look square into his eyes, her hazel orbs dancing with resolve before she finally answered him.

 

“Let’s go get married.”

 

Ben returned her smile, breathed in through his nose and straightened. He walked over to the big glass doors of the courthouse and held them open for her to enter. He gently placed his hand on the small of her back as they made their way to the county clerk’s office, silently elated that she didn’t shy away again at his touch, the skin of her lower back warm and soft under his fingertips.

 

***

After filling out the appropriate paperwork, Ben and Rey sat beside each other in the little court room awaiting their names to be called. Even though they had an appointment, it was still Town Hall and things never kept to being on time as usual with any government run establishment.

 

Ben couldn’t help thinking that it was a little depressing.

 

 _‘It’s like getting married at the DMV.’_ He thought with a sneer.

 

The bland walls that were in serious need of a fresh coat of paint were bare except for a few plaques and certificates that littered the walls. The bench was made of faded light grain wood that was probably redone in the early 90’s and the multicolor speckled carpet was worn from years of being professionally steamed.  The room smelled like freshly shaved pencils mixed with overly citrus cleaning products which made the room seem sterile and impersonal. A clock with a cracked face sat atop the highest wall at the head of the room above the raised seat that the judge would normally occupy.

 

Today, the judge stood at the front of the room where, besides Ben and Rey, four other couples sat nervously awaiting their turn to say ‘I do.’

 

Ben glanced at Rey as she sat in her white dress and looked down at her clasped hands. He couldn’t help but feel guilty. Maybe they should have done something a little more…

 

‘ _What, romantic?’_ He thought, internally rolling his eyes. _‘That isn’t what this is.’_ Ben reminded himself.

 

But even so, the idea that this simplistic, mundane, generic ceremony would be the only vows Rey ever took ate a little at his soul. Rey deserved so much more than what he was offering her, that he was certain. Yet here she sat, so beautiful in her pretty white dress and willing to marry _him_ of all people. Even though he knew she was entering into this for the same reasons he was, it was sad to think that perhaps this would be the closest thing she’d ever have to a wedding.

 

Sensing his inner turmoil, Rey reached over and placed a calming hand on his knee.

 

“We’re next.” She said to him and he nodded.

 

At that moment, Kaydel decided to finally show up, sliding on the bench next to Rey and idly looking around. Her sharp cat eye liner was perfectly on point and hooded her large eyes slightly. Her blonde hair pulled tight into a bun high on top of her head as she glanced around at her surroundings and a Canon EOS-R Mirrorless Digital Camera hung around her neck.

 

How this girl could afford a $3200 camera on her salary, Rey would never know.

 

“This place is a shithole.” Kay stated evenly.

 

“Well, it’s not about the place. It’s about…um…us.” Rey finished indignantly, gesturing between her and Ben as she gave Ben’s knee a light squeeze.

 

“Exactly.” Ben said, playing along.

 

“Yeah, whatever.” Key said, looking down to study her nails as if bored. “I’m not sure what you’d like me to capture here but you guys better shed some fucking tears otherwise it’s going to look like you’re being sentenced.” Key’s voice was even and monotone as she spoke. The girl had a knack for somehow seeming to care about nothing but having something to say about everything.

 

“As long as you’re back at the shop to open at 10am.” Rey reminded her. “Did you remember to put the sign in the window before you left?” Rey whispered as the judge pronounced one of the couples man and wife.

 

“Look at this face.” Kay said pointing towards herself. “Does this look like the face of someone who would forget to put a sign that says ‘WILL OPEN AT 10:00 AM’ in the window on the morning of her bosses wedding? You only reminded me last night before we closed, called me this morning in case you forgot to tell me last night and, oh yeah! Texted me twice about it an hour ago.” Kay’s eyes remained impassive.

 

Rey wanted to remind her of the time she forgot to close the backdoor of the shop last January (after reminding her multiple times that the door doesn’t close all the way, you have to push it closed) during the one of the biggest snow storms on record and Rey spent most of the next day shoveling snow out of the way so she could get into the café from her apartment.

 

“I still can’t believe you guys are doing this. Finn and Rose are gonna kill you.” Key said coolly.

 

“They won’t do any such thing and I’ll make it up to them. Ben and I didn’t want to wait and that’s why you’re here. For…”

 

“Proof?” She attempted to finish her sentence.

 

“To capture the moment.” Ben interrupted them. “So do us a favor, put your little finger on that button and start clicking. Rey’s paying you your hourly to be here to take pictures and to sign as our witness, not voice your opinions on things that don’t concern you.” He snapped.

 

Kay rolled her eyes popped a piece of a gum in her mouth turning her body to stare straight ahead.

 

“Does she know?” Ben leaned into Rey a little and whispered.

 

“No! All I told her is what you and I agreed upon.” Rey quietly explained.

 

“And what did she say?” Ben inquired.

 

“She asked if I was pregnant.” Rey said with a small hint of disdain.

 

“Hmm…” Ben pondered.

 

“What’s the matter?”  She asked peering up at him.

 

“I didn’t think of that.” Ben cocked his head slightly to one side.

 

“Think of what?” Rey asked.

 

“That because we’re getting married so fast, people might think it’s because you’re pregnant.” He said with a small smirk.

 

“Shit.” Rey sat there imagining all the people she would have to reassure of her lack of expectancy.

 

“Actually, come to think of it. We probably could have just told everyone that we we’re engaged, gotten a joint bank account and I just would have had to buy a big fat diamond for you to parade around.”

 

Rey’s eyes bulged and she slowly turned an incriminating stare towards Ben who was trying very hard to conceal the mirth written all over his face.

 

“You’re just thinking of all this _now?!_ ” Rey hissed.

 

“Solo Wedding?” The judge called out.

 

“Present your honor.” Ben said as he shot up from his seat, gently tugging Rey’s arm to stand. They made their way towards the front of the room, Key trailing behind them slowly. She lifted her camera to take a few shots as she popped her gum.

 

“Are you both entering into this union on your own accord?” The judge asked them.

 

“I am, your honor.” Rey said glowering at Ben.

 

“Yes, your honor.” Ben echoed.

 

She couldn’t be sure but she _thinks_ Ben might have actually just _winked_ at her.

 

 _‘This man is going to be the death of me.’_ She thought as she softened just a bit.

 

“If you, sir, would stand right here to my left and you miss, to my right and face each other.” The judge instructed.

 

Ben laid the wedding certificate on the small table to the judge’s right and Rey placed her flowers on top of it.

 

The two of them got into position, settling into their places in front of the man that was to pronounce them man and wife. He adjusted his reading glasses as he held a book out in front of him and read aloud the words on the page as if they were just that.

 

Words on a page.

 

The judge cleared his throat and began to rattle off the passage without a breath.

 

“We are gathered together here in the presence of these witnesses to join this man and this woman in matrimony, which is an honorable estate, and is not to be entered into unadvisedly or lightly…”

 

 _‘Just hurry up.’_ She thought, annoyed. _‘Just get this part over with!’_

Rey was fine with everything they had agreed upon. But it was this moment that she had been dreading. The whole marriage thing was fine. It was the _getting married_ part that was bothering her.

 

She had always envisioned this in her mind. Believing that if she ever did this, it would be very different than the scene she found herself in.

 

To the man who stood before them, they were just another couple. Like the countless couples he’s married in the past. No personal touches, no music, no sniffles of those in the rows of chairs in front of them, happy for them on their big day. No smiling faces to look out at, no friends to wish them well with nods of encouragement, love and support. No Finn, no Rose…

 

No family.

 

“…but reverently and discreetly. If anyone can show just cause why this man and this woman may not lawfully be joined together, let them speak now or hereafter remain silent.” The judge continued.

 

The room became quiet for a moment. Satisfied with the amount of time he had given for someone to object, he continued.

 

She wasn’t sure why but something inside Rey ached. Ached for this to be something more than what it was. At that moment, she ached for her life to be different, to be someone else.

 

She wanted to be someone who stood before a man that loved her. A man that wanted to spend his life with her because he couldn’t imagine his life without her in it.

 

She ached for this to be real…

 

Rey’s head was bowed, her gaze pinned to the floor as she anxiously wrung her hands together as the judge prattled on.

 

Suddenly, a pair of large masculine hands slowly, ever so slowly, inched up towards her own, blanketing them within their warm grasp.

 

As soon as their skin touched, Ben unconsciously shuffled a little closer to Rey and she in turn took a small step towards him as well.

 

Rey raised her head to stare at him. The look on Ben’s face as they stood there in the dingy four walls of the courthouse was soft and earnest as his eyes met hers.

 

At that moment Rey felt something inside her stir and her hands began to tremble.

 

Ben trailed his thumbs back and forth across her creamy skin.

 

Suddenly, her breath caught.

 

Her lips parted as his dark brown eyes bore into hers.

 

The noises around them dulled. The monotonous voice of the judge melted into what could only be described as a low hymn and the clicks and beeps from Kay’s camera were like delicately soft piano keys in this fuzzy symphony that seemed to echo around then.

 

Rey’s world began to blur into nothingness. A vast endless sea that melted into a similarly colored sky making her world spin, up was down and down was up, save for the man standing in front of her who’s eyes held her center of gravity.

 

 _‘Let’s just pretend.’_ She thought. _‘Just for a moment.’_

 

“If you will, please repeat after me.” The judge said breaking through the world the two of them had built around each other.

 

Rey blinked a few times to clear her thoughts and repeated the lines the judge fed her as she looked at Ben and tightened her grip on his large hands.

 

“I call upon these persons here present, to witness that I, Rey, take you, Ben, to be my lawfully wedded husband and I do solemnly declare that I know not of any lawful impediment why we may not be joined in matrimony.”

 

A smile crept up the sides of Rey’s mouth as she spoke. Ben’s eyes were soft and his face serious as he repeated the same generic words.

 

“I call upon these persons here present, to witness that I, Ben, take you, Rey, to be my lawfully wedded wife and I do solemnly declare that I know not of any lawful impediment why we may not be joined in matrimony.”

 

They were now standing so close to one another, as if speaking to only each other. Their hands intertwined, their gazes locked on the other.

 

“The rings?” The judge reminded them.

 

“Oh. Right.” Ben said as he reluctantly released one of her hands and dug into his inner coat pocket to produce a small box where he extracted two plain gold bands, handing the larger one to Rey.

 

Holding his larger hand in hers, she slipped the band onto his finger, lightly caressing the inner flesh of his hand with her fingertips as she ensured its fit.

 

When Ben placed the small gold band on her, he twisted it three times at the base before slowly sliding his thumb and pointer finger back up the length of her ring finger and finally laced her hands within his once more.

 

“By the power vested in my by the state of Connecticut, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may now kiss you bride if you wish.”

 

Simultaneously, Ben and Rey stiffened, their eyes wide. They had both forgotten about this little detail, it having never been discussed.

 

 _‘Crap! We never said if we were going to kiss or not, we haven’t even decided where we’re going for breakfast after this!’_ She panicked.

 

Maybe they could just—hug awkwardly?

 

 _‘Crap. Crap, crap, shit, crap.’_ Rey was internally struggling with what to do and the moment stretched on for far too long than what it should have.

 

_“Maybe we should just high five or fist bump or something or maybe we could just—“_

 

In the middle of her internal struggle, Ben’s callused fingers found the underside of her chin and drew her face upwards towards his and suddenly his lips softly descended upon hers in what should have been a quick little closed mouth peck.

 

But the moment their lips touched, they both froze. And then—

 

And then…

 

And then Ben’s lips were so warm against her own that Rey found herself leaning forward into his perfect mouth to chase that warmth.

 

Ben’s fingers moved from her chin to delicately caress the side of her neck, tilting her head just so, so that he could better slant his mouth over hers and Rey’s heart did this weird thing where it seemed to stop for a moment and then pounded extra hard against her ribcage.

 

And then her hand moved on its own accord. It seemed to come up and cup the side of Ben’s face and in turn, Ben opened his mouth to her slightly and her bottom lip found itself pillowed between the perfect shape of his wide, wonderful mouth.

 

Rey raised her eye brows in surprise of how… _good_ that felt.

 

It could have lasted seconds or minutes or centuries but either way, it ended too soon. Ben pulled back just enough for his lips to pull off hers, his eyes still closed. She felt his breath fanning warmly against her face, her hand still cradling his cheek. The moment Rey opened her eyes to peek up at him, her breath caught in her chest because it was that moment Ben let out the softest little moan against her lips and it made her heart stutter in her chest and also made something pulse down below...

 

Ben’s eyes fluttered open and looked down at her, an unreadable expressions on his face. They were both breathing a little too heavy, a little too shallow, still a little too close...

 

They continued to stare at each other, Ben’s fingertips still ghosting against the soft skin of her neck when a bright flash broke them of their heady gaze.

 

They both whipped their heads around to face the intrusion. Kay and her camera were mere inches from them, the flashes and clicks continuing.

 

“Great.” She muttered. “That was somewhat decent. I’ll have to edit these a bit, Ben looks dead in half of them.” She turned to address Ben. “Seriously, dude. It’s called ‘sunlight’.” She deadpanned.

 

Before Ben could retaliate with his usual onslaught of well punned criticism, the judge beckoned them over to the small table for the signing.

 

They both reluctantly moved away from one another, Rey reeling from the loss of his body heat and proceeded over to the table, taking turns signing their names. Kay continued to take pictures before it was her turn to sign as their witness. The judge shook both their hands before handing them their certificate, dismissing them.

 

And just like that, they were married.

 

Outside, the sun finally won its battle against the gloom and was shining warmly from high above.

 

The busy streets of the small metropolis carried on as usual for a Friday morning. The streets busy, cars honked and buses rumbled as the people of the small downtown area attempted to finish up work to leave early in preparation for the weekend.

 

Everything carried on as normal but for the newly married couple that made their way out into the sunlight, everything seemed different.

 

Ben kept stealing glances at Rey as she thanked Kay who promised to get the photo’s over to them via email at some point later next week.

 

Ben hadn’t said anything to her since they got outside. He kept wracking his brain on what to say but words just didn’t seem to come out of his mouth when he opened it.

 

After Rey bid goodbye to Kay, she turned to face him.

 

“So… breakfast?” She suggested.

 

Ben nodded.

 

***

“That’s a nice suit.” Rey said over a mouthful of syrup drenched pancakes. “You clean up nice.” She gestured towards him with her fork.

 

Ben wore a slightly amused grimace watching her as she spoke with her mouth bulging at the cheeks.

 

“Thanks. It’s just something I had laying around.” He lied. “Speaking of cleaning up nice, that dress…” He let out a low whistle of approval and made the ‘OK’ symbol with his hands and winked at her.

 

 _‘Slick, ya idiot.’_ Ben chided himself.

 

Rey stopped chewing and stared at him. “You’re weird today.” She said before taking another large bite.

 

“I know.” Ben admitted, picking at his eggs benedict as he spoke. “It’s because of what happened back there. At the courthouse. I want you to know, that _wasn’t_ my intention.”

 

 _‘I didn’t mean to kiss you. I didn’t mean for it to feel so good. I didn’t mean to mess this up. Please can we start again?’_ He chanted to himself.

 

“Well it’s obvious you’ve been thinking about it for a while.” Rey said as she continued the murderous savagery of her sugary breakfast, adding even more syrup to her already swimming pancakes. “You couldn’t have just thought of it spur of the moment.”

 

Ben sat up straight and glared at her. Was she honestly suggesting that he had _planned_  on kissing her _?!_

“Excuse me? I didn’t hear _you_ complaining, sweetheart!” He said as he started to cut a little harder into his breakfast than was necessary.

 

“Ben, there’s no need to get upset. I’m not mad.” Rey said still chewing and looking at him.

 

“You’re not?”

 

“No! It is what it is. And if we have to do it again, so be it.”

 

“Wait a minute. You’re saying you _want_ to do it again?” Ben asked astonished.

 

“Well, I mean it’s not ideal but we’ll just have to keep at it until people get the right idea about us.” Rey took a long drink of her orange juice.

 

Ben was extremely taken aback by this sudden turn of events. She wanted to kiss him again? In public? So people could get the right idea about them? I mean, if that’s what she wanted, who was he to deny her?

 

“Okay.” Ben said with resolve, trying to hold back the mere fact that he wasn’t totally put off by the thought of having to kiss her again.

 

Quite the opposite, in fact.

 

“Okay.” He said again. “I’d be willing to go along with this. But I have to admit that it’s a little unexpected because I thought we agreed that we were going to try and hold out.” Ben said skeptically.

 

“When did we agree to that?” Rey asked in an incredulous tone. “I don’t want people thinking that I’m _pregnant,_ Ben!”

 

Ben almost choked on his food.

 

“Rey, I’m… what are you talking about?” Ben was now thoroughly confused.

 

She swallowed. “People thinking that I might be pregnant. What you said back at the courthouse. You said people might think I’m pregnant and that’s why we got married so fast.” She reminded him.

 

Ben sat there with a blank face before realization washed over him. “Oh! Right… right.” He said before starting to quickly devour his meal, looking anywhere but at her.

 

Rey stopped eating and stared at him.

 

“Ben?” She said his name quietly.

 

“Hmm?” He said still not looking at her, nervously guzzling down a few gulps of coffee.

 

Rey’s breath sped up a bit.

 

_‘He wasn’t talking about…’_

“What were _you_ talking about?” She asked a little breathlessly.

 

Ben finally looked at Rey. Her eyes were imploring him to answer and her sticky sweet lips were slightly parted. A small silence danced between them before finally Ben motioned for the check to the passing waitress, retrieving his wallet.

  
  
“That really is a great dress, Rey. You look beautiful.” He said with a small smile.

 

Rey sensed his embarrassment and decided to take pity on him and didn’t force him to answer her questions.

 

“Thank you.” She said, looking down at herself. “It’s just something I had… ya know… laying around.” She said with a smirk.

 

Ben returned her smile and reached across the table to dip the tip of his pointer finger into her buttery syrupy mess and then brought his finger to his mouth to lick it clean.

 

Rey watched his lips close over his sticky finger and her thoughts were instantly brought back to the kiss he shared with her not even an hour ago. She remembered how sinfully plush his lips felt against hers, the subtle way he held her face and the sound he made when he pulled back, finishing their kiss...

 

”Mmm...” Ben moaned softly.

 

’ _Yes_ , _just_ _like_ _that_.’ She thought, her eyes still glued to his mouth.

 

Rey’s seat suddenly felt very warm and a familiar tingle made its way across her flesh as her eyes clamped on his.

 

“That’s really good! I’ll have to try the pancakes next time.” 

 

“Yeah they were really warm and uh—“ Rey swallowed hard. “—sticky.”

 

Now it was Ben’s turn to swallow hard.

 

He loosened his tie a bit suddenly aware of how stiflingly hot it had somehow just become.

 

The waitress brought back the check forcing them to break eye contact. Ben signed for it and lifted himself from the seat.

 

“Ready to go, my wife?” He asked jokingly extending a hand out to her.

 

_‘Oh God. He was her husband. He was her husband, she was his wife and they had kissed and it felt…’_

“Rey?” He called again, his hand still held out to her.

 

“Yes.” She said, taking his hand as he helped her to stand. “Yes, Ben. I’m ready.”

 

            

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so, yay! They are finally married. Phew! I had such bad writers block because I know how the rest of the story is going to pan out but I wasn't exactly sure how I was going to get these idiots from point A to point B but thankfully they are FINALLY here and now the fun stuff can begin! Let me know what you think in the comments because................
> 
> KUDOS ARE COOL...
> 
> COMMENTS ARE FUEL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
> 
> AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAND GO!


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Besides, he had also told her that she wasn’t his type, she recalled bitterly.
> 
> ‘But he did say he was still attracted to you.’ A little voice inside reminded her.
> 
> No. 
> 
> ‘No.’ She shook her head. ‘You are not going to parade around like some touch starved teenager just because you’re attracted to your husband!’

The Mirror Has Two Faces

A Reylo AU

 

 

The next few weeks passed by in a whirlwind and before she knew it, mid July had arrived. Rey spent her days working and tending to the café, filling out paperwork for her green card, slowly started packing up her apartment (which she found harder to do than she thought with all the memories scattered about the small space) and dodging calls from Rose and Finn. She had actually become so good at dodging their calls that at this point, had honed it to a fine art.

Her lack of communication had sparked concern from her friends which they made known in a group text one evening...

 

 **Finn:** _Hey, guys! I emailed you a few pictures from the ceremony. It was gorgeous!  I wish you both could have been there, it truly wasn’t the same without you. Poe and I are headed to the French Riviera tomorrow and will probably not have much cell service so I wanted to send a text saying ‘hey’ and ‘I love you guys’._

**Rose:** _Finn!!! Congratulations!!!! Omg, you and Poe looked so handsome! Eric sends along his congrats to you and he said to tell Poe he sends him a virtual fist bump. WE LOVE YOU_ _TOO_ _!_

**_Rose:_ ** _And don’t you worry! We will celebrate properly when we’re all together again. Aaaand great… you and Poe will be tanned European gods and here I am sitting in the heart of_ _Arizona_ _in retirement hell._

**Rose:** _Literally it’s hell._

**Rose:** _Its 122 degrees._

**Rose:** _In the shade._

**Finn:** _I hope you’re wearing sunscreen, I am NOT listening to you cry when you come back a leather handbag._

**Poe:** _Don’t listen to him, Rose. He hasn’t put on any sunscreen since we got here…or clothes for that matter ;-)_

**Finn:** _Babe! Come on! Not cool, man._

**Poe:** _You’re right, it wasn’t cool. It was pretty damn hot!_

**Finn:** _Ignore him, please..._

**Rose:** _LOL! Please, ENJOY your honeymoon!_

**Poe:** _Oh, believe me. We are ;D_

**Finn:** _Hey, where’s Rey? I thought I included her in this group text._

**Rey:** _I’m here!  I can’t wait to hear all about it. I cannot believe you two are married! I miss you guys so much._

**Rose:** _Rey, are you okay? I haven’t heard much from you since we got out here. I’ve been calling you! Is everything alright?_

**Finn:** _Yeah, everything okay, Peanut? I called you a few times over the last few weeks as well and you haven’t picked up or returned any of my calls._

**Rey:** _Yeah, I’m fine!! Just working a lot and going to bed early.  I hope you’re all having a great time and I can’t wait to see you both when you get back!_

Rey just wasn’t ready to face them and she didn’t think she would be able to speak to them without letting slip something about what she had been up to and she just _knew_ Rose would ask about Ben. Finn knew absolutely nothing about her newfound friendship and out of everyone, she was going to have the hardest time explaining this to him.

 

Finn was her best friend and she was hiding a secret from him that was so big, it was monumental! Rey could just imagine how her guilt would take hold of her common sense and their conversations would probably end up going something like this:

 

_‘Oh hi, Rose. Yes I remembered to stop by and water your plants. No, I haven’t been doing much except preparing to move in with my husband. Oh I didn’t tell you? Ben and I got married.’_

 

_‘Hey Finn! I miss you and Poe so much and by the way, I married that grumpy professor that always harps on you when you bring him his lunch!”_

Yeah, no way she could tell them. At least not over the phone.

 

Finn wasn’t due to arrive back into the states until July 31st. Rose should be home the first week of August now that everything had settled down with Eric’s parents in Arizona.

 

In the meantime, Rey had six interviews alone for a new tenant for her apartment. Some of which she wouldn’t have even considered renting a pair of roller skates to so her options were becoming very limited.

 

Rey eventually did find the right person. A new professor of linguistics for the university, Professor Holdo, came very highly recommended by her previous landlord.

 

“I assume you’ll be requiring first, last and one month security for the deposit?” Holdo said, handing her a check that the ink hadn’t even dried on yet.

 

“Umm yeah. That’d be perfect.” Rey said taking the check from her and handing over the keys. “I’ll be fully out by tomorrow afternoon so you can start bringing your stuff over whenever you’d like.” Rey informed her.

 

“Thanks. I have movers coming day after tomorrow so I’m good. Take your time.”

 

She smiled one more time at Rey before disappearing out the front doors of the coffee shop.

 

Rey spent the rest of the afternoon at the café restocking the pantry and refilling the loose teas while running back and forth to the kitchen to get a head start on baking for tomorrow’s breakfast rush.

 

By the time the last customer left, (a man who talked her ear off about how pleased he was with how fine she ground her coffee because it shouldn’t be granulated like sand but more powdered like flour to extract the richest of flavor from the bean), Rey was exhausted and still had another two hours of packing to do before Ben arrived tomorrow morning with a u-haul.

 

She was right in the middle of deciding whether to keep or throw out a t-shirt that had more holes in it than it did fabric when there was a knock on the door interrupted her decision making process.

 

Annoyed at being disrupted from her tasks, Rey wrenched the door open to reveal a very tall, dark haired male in black jeans and a navy hoodie. A large pizza and a very expensive looking bottle of wine in hand.

 

“Happy Last Night In Your Apartment Miss-couldn’t-be-bothered-to-ask-for-help-and-seemed-cranky-on-the-phone-when-I-called-to-ask-how-the-packing-was-going-so-I-decided-to-come-over-unannoucned-to-give-you-a-hand-but-was-afraid-you-wouldn’t-let-me-help-you-so-I-came-prepared-to-bribe-you-with-food!”

 

Rey beamed from ear to ear.

 

“Your presence could _not_ be more welcomed right now.” She said, grabbing the sleeve of his sweatshirt and dragging him inside. “And that was preposterously _way_ too long. You have to keep them short and sweet.”

 

“There are a lot of rules to this game.” Ben said plainly, putting the pizza down on an area of the kitchen table he could find some room between boxes and bags. “This is a nice place.” Ben said looking around. “I’d only ever been downstairs before. I never got to see where you live.”

 

“It’s alright. A bit small but it served its purpose.” She said as she looked around nostalgically.

 

“Wine glasses?” Ben said as he uncorked the wine and handed her a slice of pizza on a paper plate.

 

“Packed.” She said taking a large bite, almost fitting half the slice into her mouth.

 

“Paper cups?”

 

“Nope, don’t have those either. I could run down stairs and grab us some mugs or to-go cups?” She offered between swallows.

 

“Nah. We’re both adults here, right?” Ben took a large swig straight from the bottle before handing it to Rey who contemplated for a moment before shrugging and taking a large gulp to wash down the pizza.

 

Ben finished his slice, wiping his giant hands on the tiny tissue-thin paper napkins that he had grabbed from the take out place. “So, now that I’m here, let’s put me to good use.”

 

They spent the next two hours talking, eating pizza and sipping the wine while packing and labeling boxes and stacking them by the door in preparation to move her tomorrow.

 

Rey talked his ear off about her plans for renovating the café and he was filling her in on his hopes of getting tenure and what it would mean for him.

 

For _them_ , actually.

 

When they were finally finished, Rey and Ben stood and looked around at the now almost empty apartment.

 

“That’s it, we’re done!” Rey announced as they admired their handiwork. Rey passed the almost empty bottle of wine to Ben. “Thank you. For the pizza and for helping me. This was harder than I thought it would be. There were a lot of memories to pack away.”

 

“You’ll make a whole series of new ones.” He promised looking at her and passing the bottle back.

 

“Less cramped ones.” That reminded her. “Oh! Did you put our name on the waiting list? I hope you don’t mind my moving in with you in your current place. I could have stayed here until we got word that a condo was available.”

 

“Of course I don’t mind, I offered.” He said in a small voice. “Bedsides, in order to apply for your green card, you have to be not only married but have had to be living with your spouse for no less than six months. It could take that long for a condo to become available.”

 

Rey sat down on the floor as she took a few more sips of wine, passing it back to Ben as he sat beside her on the floor.

 

“You sure you want to leave all your furniture?” He asked her, taking a swig and then handing the bottle back to her.

 

“I’m sure.  Most of this stuff Finn and I got as hand me downs or from goodwill. I’m not attached to any of it. I’ll just bring my bed and dresser to put in your spare room for now. Besides, it was easier to rent this place furnished.”

 

Rey absentmindedly started to peel the wine label from the glass as she looked down at the floor as she spoke. “Besides… your stuff is probably _way_ nicer than mine. Sets that actually match, bought new from a store… in various shades of black.” She said smiling at him, handing him the almost empty bottle.

 

Ben chuckled and took it from her, bringing it up to his mouth. Rey was close enough to appreciate the way his full lips hugged the mouth of the glass, the shape of his long neck and bob of his Adams apple as he took a large swallow of its contents. His long sable waves fell over his shoulder like pooled silk as he knocked it back, almost draining the bottle.

 

 _‘This man is an Adonis.’_ She caught herself thinking, her mouth agape, in her wine muddled haze.

 

“Here. Have the last of it.”

 

Ben held out the bottle to her as she sat starting at him. His intense eyes had taken on a soft appearance now that the amber liquid had done its job and his demeanor relaxed.

 

As Rey looked at him, she reached for the bottle and her fingers lightly stroked against his briefly causing that same electric spark to warm her from deep down in her core.

 

She inhaled sharply, her eyes finding his and she suddenly found herself wondering at the beauty of his face.

 

While not traditionally handsome, there was certainly something about his features that was so esthetically pleasing yet, for some reason, she couldn’t quite put her finger on what was so visually enticing.

 

It could be the elongated slope of his nose and the ruby red full pout of his lips that was placed perfectly under it. Or maybe it was the way he moved his mouth as he sat pensively staring back at her.

 

Maybe it was the thick base of his voice or the strong, lithe shape of his tall towering figure as he loomed over her even as they sat level on the floor.

 

Perhaps it was all of it.

 

Rey could now somehow make out each perfect little dark beauty mark that graced his skin and it contrasted in the most blissful way with the blush that now spread across his cheek bones from the wine.

 

It reminded her of how smooth his skin had felt under her touch and she had lost herself for a moment when he kissed her at the courthouse.

 

His eyes, she noticed, were a deep chocolate brown that almost smoldered black depending on his mood and she knew if she stared long enough into them, she just might find all the secrets in the galaxy hidden away within their swirling depths. They sparkled and they called to her and they were getting… closer?

 

“Rey?” Ben said, his voice gravelly and deep.

 

Rey’s eyes fluttered open. When had she closed them?

 

“Are you falling asleep?”

 

“No, no, I…” She uttered. What _was_ she doing? She looked up helplessly into those eyes of his, a slight panic rising within her.

 

Had she been about to…

 

No.

 

‘ _Damn, wine!’_ Rey cursed to herself.

 

Ben regarded her methodically, his half hooded gaze raking over her face.

 

“You have that look in your eyes… from the courthouse.” His voice was soft as he focused on her mouth. “When I…”

 

Suddenly the warmth of his proximity vanished as he pulled back from her and shot to his feet so fast, Rey reeled backwards. Ben quickly started gathering his phone, keys and wallet, shoving them into his pockets haphazardly.

 

“I should go.” Ben said not looking at her. “You should get some sleep. I’ll be back in a few hours with the truck.”

 

Rey stood up slowly, her brows furrowed.

 

 _‘Okay Rey, you’re officially a lightweight.’_ She thought, shaking her head in attempts to try and shake off the buzz from the alcohol.

 

Ben turned to face her as he opened the door and stood regarding her in the doorway.

 

“Right.” Rey said, still trying to make sense of what had happened in the past two minutes. One moment they were talking about furniture and the next she was leaning toward his face in a dream like haze, being drawn to his mouth like a moth to a flame.

 

“You okay?” He asked. He looked torn. It was as if he couldn’t decide if he was conflicted or concerned.

 

“Umm.” Rey forced herself to look up at him.

 

Was she okay?

 

_‘No, you headcase! You’re going to ruin everything.’_

 

“Yeah, I’m good. I’m just tired, I think. It’s been a long day.”  Rey smiled at him quickly to assure the man teetering between coming back in or moving further into the hallway, that all was well.

 

Ben didn’t look exactly like he wanted to leave. He hovered another moment, drinking in the sight of her with wide eyes before finally stepping back out into the hallway, almost against his will.

 

“Okay, goodnight.” He said a little too loudly that it was almost awkward before flying down the staircase, shutting the downstairs door hard behind him.

 

Rey closed her door slowly, still trying to make sense of her actions.

 

What did she the think she was doing? She understood that getting involved in this whole messy thing with Ben was going to come with its own set up difficulties. What Rey wasn’t prepared for was her stupid thirsty self almost throwing herself at her husband over half a bottle of wine. How desperate was she?

 

‘ _You’ve got to stop this.’_ She thought

 

Ben has made it perfectly clear that this arrangement between them was to be completely plutonic. The man flat out told her he was a disaster with woman; an asshole was the term he used.

 

Besides, he had also told her that she wasn’t his type, she recalled bitterly.

 

 _‘But he did say he was still attracted to you.’_ A little voice inside reminded her.

 

No.

 

‘ _No.’_ She shook her head. _‘You are not going to parade around like some touch starved teenager just because you’re attracted to your husband!’_

Rey groaned at that thought as she cleaned up the pizza and wine. She made her way into the bedroom, falling hard onto the mattress that now lay bare on the floor since her and Ben had taken apart her bed frame in preparation for moving her tomorrow.

 

At that moment, Rey made a decision. She was going to control this odd behavior she seemed to adopt whenever she was within five feet of Ben.

  
No more soul sucking eye locks, no more staring at his lips, no more swooning at the touch of his hand, no more awkward silences, no more _flirting_! This was her _fake husband_ in an arranged (albeit legitimately very legal) marriage for crying out loud and if they were both going to stay on track and stick to their arrangement, she was going to have to man up because otherwise, if things progressed in this manor, she’d be cashing in on his offer of ‘helping each other out’ sooner than what should be necessary. That rule they made was in place for when they were desperate, starved, needy, _hungry…_

Not for when she willy nilly got an eye full of something as mundane as his bobbing Adams apple.

 

 _‘If his_ _Adams_ _apple is all it takes…’_ That stupid part of her brain chimed in.

 

Fuck.

 

She was so screwed.

 

 

 

***

 

 

By the time Ben had arrived with the u-haul the next morning, the temperature outside was already a balmy ninety three degrees. The heat wave that overtook the small town was exponentially hotter than the weather channel had originally forecast but it was still so incredibly miserable, just walking out the door immediately made Rey’s clothes adhere to her already sticky skin.

 

It was just in the knick of time too.

 

Rey didn’t have AC and she had a sneaking suspicion that Ben undoubtedly would.

 

Rey had already showered and dressed, opened the shop, ran a few breakfast deliveries and had two teas iced and ready for her and Ben to give them both a little fuel for the move.

 

The two of them spent the next hour loading every last box into the small truck along with her bedroom furniture before they were finally pulling out onto the street and making their way towards Ben’s apartment.

 

Fifteen minutes later, they pulled up in front of an apartment building on the outskirts of the downtown area. The building looked slightly older but well maintained.

 

“Let me show you around before we unload.” Ben suggested as they made their way through the front doors and into the elevator.

 

Rey noticed there were only eight floors as Ben jabbed the number 8 button.

 

“You live on the top floor?” She inquired.

 

“It’s the best.” He responded, giving her one of his lopsided grins.

 

Rey pretended not to notice the way his eyes attempted to find hers within the small confined space and instead, refocused her gaze to the floor, fiddling absentmindly at the strings that dangled from the hem of her denim shorts.

 

Rey followed him, stepping out of the elevator and into a darkened hallway. When they had reached what she assumed was his door, Ben removed a key from his key ring, handing it to her.

 

“I stopped to make you a copy this morning. Would you like to do the honors?”

 

Rey smiled and accepted the key from him, turning around to unlock the door.

 

She completely ignored how close he stood behind her, his head towering above her right shoulder as she slid the key into the lock.

 

“You have to jiggle it.” He said.

 

Rey tried again but the damn thing just wouldn’t budge.

 

“Like this.” Ben said as his hand wrapped around her own. He jiggled and twisted the key gently in a perfected rhythm.

 

Rey held her breath, trapped between his larger frame and the door. Trying desperately to ignore the way her traitorous body wanted to lean back against him, Rey opted to push so hard against the door that when the lock finally gave and the door flew open, Rey tumbled so hard forward, she landed in a heap on the entrance way of Ben’s apartment.

 

“Rey!” Ben said, scrounging down and attempting to collect her. “Are you alright?”

 

“I’m fine.” She said, shuffling away form him a tiny bit before bouncing back to her feet so fast, she thought the moment humorously should have been followed by a ‘ta-da!’.

 

 _‘Great. You’re an I Love Lucy episode.’_ Rey rolled her eyes at herself.

 

“Are you sure?” Ben looked at her skeptically.

 

“Yes, yes. I’m fine, Ben.” Rey turned away from him, dusting herself off and finally taking in the space before her.

 

Ben’s apartment was nothing like she thought it would be.

 

Where the hallway had been shrouded in darkness, the rooms within were bathed in light. There was window after window that lined the far wall of the living room which was filled with (not surprisingly) a black leather sofa and a large black leather ottoman that acted as a coffee table. A white tray sat atop it holding some books and TV remotes that all faced an open gas fireplace and a dark gray rug with swirls of red sat underneath the furniture. The walls were all painted a soft dove gray except for the feature wall where a large flat screen TV hung which was painted matte black with a suede finish. Two dark red chairs with a glass side table with gold legs sat between them, was stationed at the far end of the room, strategically placed near a wide wall that was lined with shelf after shelf of an endless array of books.

 

There were so many books, Rey couldn’t have even fathomed that someone would have been able to read this many within one lifetime!

 

While the room wasn’t large, everything fit nicely in the space.

 

 _‘Comfortably cluttered.’_ She thought.

 

To her immediate left was a clean and modern kitchen that opened up to the living room, matching the black and white theme and housed stainless steal appliances. Past that was a decent sized bathroom and on the far left wall of the living room were two doors that Rey could only assume were the bedrooms.

 

“Wow, Ben this is…” She walked further into the room, running her hands along the back of the couch, feeling the soft leather under her fingertips. “I’m sorry, _why_ do you want to move?”

 

“Because it’s bigger, closer to the water, closer to work and has more amenities.”

 

“Bigger isn’t always better, Ben.”

 

A little flitter of annoyance flashed across his features.

 

“It is when you’re a tree in human form.” Ben muttered, turning to shut the door.

 

Rey continued to walk about the room and finally plopped down on the couch and put her feet up on the ottoman, making herself at home. What the room _did_ lack was small personal touches. There were no photos, no knickknacks, no indication that a person actually inhabited the space around her except for endless shelves of books that took up half the length of the apartment. Some old, some new, some torn… it was the only hint of ‘Ben’ she saw in the place she was now to call her home.

 

“Want something to drink?” Ben called from the kitchen.

 

“Water would be good, thanks.” Rey answered.

 

Just then, her eyes fell upon a brown leather notebook that sat on the white tray in front of her that she recognized from the desk of Ben’s lecture room. Curious, Rey picked it up and opened it, flicking the crisp pages before coming to a stop randomly and began to skim the words in front of her.

 

The book was hand written in practiced swirled handwriting that she could only assume was nothing short of calligraphic. It was beautiful but there was a gothic edge to the shape of the letters. Whether it was intentional or just the way the author wrote, she wasn’t sure.

 

The appreciation of the beauty of the lettering stopped as Rey started to take in the words she found on the particular page she began to read.

 

 _‘Ugh, poetry.’_ Rey recalled with a sneer.

 

It was then that the words she read started to come together to paint a picture. A rather graphic picture and the story it told was dark… cold… sinister. It was as if the author had been trapped within the confines of the books bindings and attempted to claw their way out of the pages and the written word was their only weapon.  The poem she was reading was like a hellish satire that relentlessly eluded to the belief that life was hopeless and the feckless, soulless being that wrote it fed upon the emotional hurt of others in order to gain control over themselves.

 

It was as if the poem had been written by some kind of _monster_...

 

Rey flipped the book over to the first page to read the name of the author.

 

“Ben?” She called out.

 

“Hmm?” Ben answered, filling two cups with water from a separate tap that protruded from the stainless steel sink.

 

“Who is… Kylo Ren?”

 

Rey heard a loud crash from the kitchen and within moments, Ben stood before her, snatching the book out of her hands and tossing it carelessly back onto the ottoman.

 

He grabbed her hand and pulled her to stand up, dragging her toward the front door.

 

“Lets go and start bringing up your stuff, it’s already almost noon.”

 

“But—“

 

“Come on.” Ben said with a forced smile. “Once we get this done, I’ll order us lunch in so we can start unpacking. Maybe even get you settled by dinnertime.”

 

Knowing that the way to Rey’s compliance was through her stomach, she let him drag her out the door, confusion still written all over her face.

 

As they passed by the kitchen, Rey noticed that glass and water littered the pristine white tile in front of the sink as they made their way out the door and down to the truck to unload Rey’s things.

 

 

***

 

 

By 4 o’clock, they were mostly done. Ben ordered them enough Thai food from his favorite spot on the corner to have enough leftovers for dinner that night and lunch the next day.

 

Ben helped Rey put her queen bed together in the spare bedroom he had made sure to empty out before her arrival. The room was small but still larger than the one she had previously slept in. It was larger than _any_ room she had ever slept in, actually.

 

The master bedroom where Ben slept was larger with an ensuite half bathroom. His king sized bed was so tall that Rey had to jump up a bit to sit on it but it was perfect for Ben. The mattress came right up to his hips and all he had to do was simply _sit down._

When they decided to finally declare her ‘moved in’, they made their way out into the living room and Ben turned on the TV, teaching Rey how to use the remotes and where to locate the Netflix and other apps. Rey kept her distance, sitting on the far opposite end of the sofa and taking care not to glance in his direction for too long.

 

Rey hadn’t seen the notebook again from earlier and decided not to question Ben about it further seeing as he was so insistent on shielding it from her and how nervous he seemed to get when she mentioned the authors name.

 

At about 9pm, after her third yawn in a row, Rey deciding to finally call it a night.

 

“Well, I’m off. Thank you again for all your help. I definitely couldn’t have done it without you.”

 

Rey stood up and placed the remotes back on the white tray, stretching dramatically as her tight green tanktop rose up to expose her tanned midriff at exactly Ben’s eye level.

 

Ben quickly averted his eyes and stood to face her.

 

“Okay—“ He said awkwardly, both of them attempting to get used to their new situation. “Goodnight, then.”

 

“Goodnight, Ben.” Rey flashed him a small smile and walked toward her new bedroom and opened the door. Before she could close it, he called out to her.

 

“Rey?”

 

“Yes?” she answered, opening it back up to look at him.

 

He stood there, regarding her. The small wisps of moonlight cascading through the large windows made his eyes glow with intensity in the shadows of the darkened room. He looked like he wanted to say something to her but seemed to change his mind at the last second.

 

“Welcome home, Rey.” He said with hesitant sincerity.

 

Rey unleashed a mega watt warm smile at his words that seemed to brighten the darkness that surrounded them like a beacon as she nodded at him.

 

Taking the light with her, she closed the door, leaving Ben standing motionless in the dark.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahh! Aaaaand she's in like... umm... Finn?
> 
> I know I've been a total cocktease (for lack of a better word) but I PROMISE the good stuff is-a-comin'! I hope you all enjoyed this chapter. I've already half written chapter 10 so hopefully I'll be able to post a bit sooner than my usual two weeks.
> 
> Also, please note the chapter count has changed. I definitely couldn’t wrap this up in 6 more chapters so I upped it to 20. #donthateme
> 
> Please, please PLEASE leave a comment below to let me know if you've been enjoying my little dip into the Reylo writting world becaaaaaaaaaaaaaaause...
> 
> KUDOS ARE COOL
> 
> BUT...
> 
> COMMENTS ARE FUEL!


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The look in her eyes was a defiant mix of anger tinged with a hint of, what Ben could only assume was longing. He hadn’t anticipated that the mere action of removing his shirt would have caused her to become so affected but the moment he got near her and she started looking at him like that, he couldn’t help but feel it too.
> 
> She was just so damn beautiful.

The Mirror Has Two Faces

A Reylo AU

 

 

Rey had assumed becoming acclimated to her new home would have taken a bit of some getting used to. What Rey _hadn’t_ expected was how incredibly effortless the transition would actually be.

 

Over the course of a week, they had somehow fallen into a perfectly choreographed dance of every day living. In the mornings, Rey would make a batch of strong coffee and while she got ready for work, Ben would make them breakfast, eating in comfortable silence before they had to run out the door to get to work. When she came home at night, they would work together in the kitchen to make a quick meal or order in; each easily relenting to what the other wanted in ways of ‘pizza or Chinese.’ While Ben went down to the building’s basement to flip the laundry, Rey would tidy and select something for them to watch together off Netflix.

 

Ben spent a lot of his mornings at the university in order to get a head start on preparation for the fall semester and also to work on tasks that needed attending to for the official start of the First Order meetings when they started back up again in mid August.

 

Ben drove Rey to work each morning on his way to Skywalker U and sometimes, would come inside and sit with her for a bit while she went about her morning opening routine, still finding time to dote on him and bring him iced coffees or tea and a scone or muffin as he read over a dissertation or the morning paper.

 

Rey soon found that the ins and outs of her daily life had become almost… domestic.

 

And Rey absolutely loved it.

 

One thing Rey _did_ find troublesome was the continuing pull of attraction toward Ben that subtly bubbled within her at various moments during the day.

 

Just the scent of him that would linger within the walls of their apartment after a steaming hot shower would set her off. Ben usually showered first because if she did, she would use all the hot water. So, Rey had to suffer through a daily reminder that Ben was an extremely attractive human male that had been previously inhabiting the very same shower she now used, trying hard not to envision him as he stood there, hot water cascading over his skin, his wet hair plastered to his face as he bathed himself clean.

 

Rey shook her head as heat pooled between her legs.

 

‘ _No.’_ She thought.

 

_‘No, you can handle this!’_

 

It didn’t help matters that the man was the living, breathing construct of Michelangelo’s ‘David’ come to life to wreak havoc on her hormones.

 

Only taller.

 

 _‘And probably better endowed.’_ Rey caught herself thinking.

 

Scolding herself for the countless time that week, Rey attempted to put Ben and the state of his nether regions out of her mind and went about her day.

 

Rey was able to keep things locked down… at least until that Friday night.

 

It was another regular evening of Rey cleaning up after dinner, a delicious meal of chicken marsala that Ben had made from scratch. Much to Rey’s delight, Ben was an amazing cook. He put a lot of thought and effort into the food he prepared and it paid off in the end. Rey thought that talent alone would have been enough for her to agree to the marriage.

 

Rey did not pride herself on her cooking abilities. She was a great baker, there was no doubting that but usually you were either one or the other. Rey couldn’t help but think how much they complimented each other in that aspect.

 

Ben was handing Rey plates and dishes from the table while she quickly rinsed them and loaded them into the dishwasher, careful not to clink any together so as not to chip the nice Pottery Barn plates that Ben used as his every day set.

 

Just as Ben was handing her the empty dish of chicken, Rey noticed a large gathering of sauce on Ben’s shirt.

 

“You’ve dribbled.”

 

Ben absentmindedly wiped at his mouth.

 

Rey giggled at him. “No, on your shirt.” She said motioning at him with her rubber gloved hand.

 

Ben looked down to see the large stain on his shirt.

 

“Oh, shit.” He muttered, his attempt at dabbing it with a napkin failing miserably.

 

“Don’t worry.” She said, turning around and continuing to rinse another dish. “Just leave it for me and I’ll take care of it when I’m done. I’m a master stain remover!” She said giggling at her self proclaimed status.

 

Just as Rey turned to put another dish into the machine, her eye caught a flash of movement behind her. Turning her gaze toward the movement in question, her mouth fell wide open and her eyes bulged as she suddenly found herself staring full force at the most lovely set of pectoral muscles she had ever seen.

 

For there Ben stood, shirtless in his… _their_ kitchen, as he continued to gather the rest of the items from the table, his shirt hanging forgotten over a chair and paying zero mind to the fact that he was now essentially half naked.

 

He was all shoulders and hard angles and lovely alabaster skin with a wide chest and torso to match; all peppered with a dusting of tiny chocolate colored moles. She wanted to run her palms over his abs like smooth river rocks, dig her little fingertips into the jut of his hip bone, lick every creamy inch of him and remove the salt from his skin with her tongue, she wanted... _fuck_.

 

Rey was so engrossed in staring at him, she didn’t register that the plate she was holding started to slip from her grasp, suddenly dropping it onto the other plates and bowls that were already loaded into the dishwashers with a loud crash.

 

“Bollocks!” Rey yelled. “Shit, Ben I’m so sorry.” She said as she started cleaning bits of glass from the dishwasher. “I’m so sorry, you must think I’m a complete— ouch!!” Rey retracted her hand from the machine revealing a large gash in the yellow rubber that encased it.

 

Within moments, Ben was at her side, yanking the glove off to inspect her hand. Thankfully, the glass seemed to have cut more of the glove than her actual skin but still blood began to bead on the tip of her index finger.

 

Ben gently guided Rey’s finger under the water to wash away the crimson droplets while simultaneously reaching up to a high cabinet above the sink, pulling down a small first aid kit and retrieving a bandage and setting it aside.

 

Rey could care less about the state of her stupid finger while Ben was so elegantly displaying all his pretty muscles as he stretched so strappingly before her.

 

The torrid water of the faucet was still running in the sink, completely forgotten. Steam billowed around them making the air grow hot and thick with each passing second as Ben gently patted dry Rey’s finger and securely wrapped the band aid around her marred flesh.

 

Rey could barely wrap her brain around the fact that her hot blooded husband was standing before her, half naked, caressing her hand and tending to her wounds which was obviously having some kind of Florence Nightingale effect on her because...

 

...because...

 

 _Oh_ , because Rey couldn’t help the almost needy mewl that escaped her as she watched Ben close his eyes and bring her finger up his lips to gave it a slow little open mouthed kiss. 

 

His eyes fluttered open and locked onto hers.

 

“There.” He almost whispered, still not letting go of her hand. “All better.” He grinned warmly at her.

 

Rey’s mouth had suddenly gone dry. She meant to retrieve the hand he was still holding as his fingers casually stroking against her palm but instead she raised her other hand, glove still dripping went from the sink and rested it against his chest. Sudsy droplets were now dripping torturously slow down his pale skin, snaking a downward path over his taunt abs and finally stopping where his pants met his flesh, the material soaking up the droplets and creating a wet spot.

 

Rey slowly followed the wet path back up his abdominal muscles with her eyes. They flexed under her gaze as she raked in his very exposed flesh as her eyes roamed higher, up the perfect expanse of his wide chest, (which Rey was pleased to find a constellation of beauty marks splattered across his skin), up the long slope of his neck (oh God, there was that Adams’s apple again), over his plush pink lips (that he continued to move in that lovely little way he did sometimes) and then _finally_ settling into his rich brown eyes.

 

The fire she saw within them made her heart skip a beat. Her breathing become slightly erratic and she felt her thighs clench traitorously because Rey suddenly envisioned herself pushing him against the counter, dipping her head down to follow the trails of water with her tongue and finally tasting his skin, soap be damned!

 

The need to start suckling at the soft skin below his clavicle was so intense, that it was that _very_ hungry thought that brought her crashing back into reality.

 

Rey shook her head vigorously and took a large step back and shut the water off,  taking one more giant step back for good measure.

 

What did he think he was playing at?! He couldn’t just walk around half naked, caressing her hand, pretending that this behavior was okay! They had rules and boundaries and he was _not_ abiding by them. He wasn’t playing fair and suddenly it made Rey very, very irrationally _angry_.

 

“What are you doing?” She said, annoyance clearly written all over her face.

 

“What do you mean, I was just—“

 

“Why are you just _standing_ there like that without a shirt?! Do you have something… a towel or something you can put on?”

 

Ben looked down at his bare torso with a slight frown.

 

“Yeah. That.” Rey said, motioning toward his chest again. “You can’t just walk around like that, it’s not appropriate!” Rey half shouted at him.

 

Ben looked back up at her, his face adorably confused.

 

“Why are you so upset? It’s not like you’ve never seen a guy without a shirt on before.” He said. When Rey didn’t answer and continued to scowl at him, Ben’s face faltered slightly. “Right?”

 

Rey rolled her eyes full force at him. “Of _course_ I have! I’ve just never seen… ya know…yours!” She raised her voice a little more at him.

 

“What’s wrong with mine?” He asked incredulously.

 

“Nothing! I just don’t think you should walk around like that!” Rey removed her glove and threw it in the sink before stomping over to the couch and plopped down on it with a huff.

 

She sat there stewing, knowing she was acting a little unfairly towards him. After all, he didn’t really do anything wrong.  If they were to go to the beach, he’d be wearing even less than he was now but something about him being exposed like that in the home they shared together made it somehow that much more…

 

Intimate.

 

Rey heard Ben shuffle into his bedroom and close the door.

 

‘ _Great. Now you’ve acted insane_ _AND_ _made him leave. Good going, Rey. Always pushing people away.’_ She mentally chided herself.

But before she could scold herself further for her outburst, Ben emerged from his bedroom, now sporting a clean t-shirt and cautiously made his way over to the sofa to sit beside her.

 

Ben must have noticed how close he sat next to her because when she turned to glower at him, he scooched a few inches in the opposite direction to give her some space.

 

They sat there for a moment in silence, the annoyance still radiating off Rey in waves. Ben’s confusion gave way to curiosity when he finally broke the silent air between them.

 

“Rey, talk to me. What’s the matter?” He attempted.

 

“Nothing.” Rey said shortly.

 

“It’s not _nothing_. Something has upset you. Something that obviously _I’ve_ done and if you don’t tell me what that something is, I can’t avoid doing it again in the future.”

 

Rey peered over at him. He looked worried and hesitant. Almost… fearful?

 

 _‘Maybe if you just talk to him…’_ That nagging voice inside her suggested.

 

“Look, I’m sorry if I was short with you.” She relented, placing her hand on the sofa in the space between them. “I just didn’t expect you to be so comfortable in my presence, that’s all.”

 

“If it makes you uncomfortable, I won’t—“

 

“I didn’t say it made me uncomfortable.” She snapped defensively.

 

“Well what else would you call it then?”

 

“I don’t know, I don’t really care! Just have the decency to put on clothes when you’re around me.” She said hotly, now turned towards him.

 

“Why? This is my house and if I want to walk around without a shirt on, why shouldn’t I be able to?” He pointed out, raising his voice a little.

 

Ben was now completely turned towards Rey, the space between them becoming more and more scarce as they heatedly confronted each other.

 

“Oh! Good to know that this is _your_ house and I have no say in it even though I bloody well live here!” Rey said, gesturing dramatically to the space around them.

 

“You do have a say, Rey. You have a say in everything but until you tell me why it is that you think it necessary to forbid me to—“

 

“Fine! Fine, Ben! Because it _does_ make me a bit uncomfortable!” She finally admitted. “There, I said it. Are you happy now?”

 

A long silence stretched before them, neither of them lowering their gaze as they continued to size each other up. Ben looked at her plainly.

 

“Why?” Ben asked gently.

 

Rey let out a long slow breath and sat back on the sofa. “I don’t know.” Rey stated, looking down at the floor.

 

“Rey…” Ben urged. She looked back up at his face. Ben’s face almost looked… she would say _hurt_ but that couldn’t be what it was…

 

_‘Could it?’_

 

Had she really hurt his feelings? Maybe he thought that she found him repulsive or even perhaps threatening?

 

Either of those options made Rey’s heart clench and because of that, she finally gave in and came clean.

 

“Alright.” She said, looking down. She approached this subject like she was approaching a scared child, stating her words factually so he didn’t misconstrue the meaning behind them.

 

“Lately, since we’ve moved into together, and perhaps even before that, certain things you do make me feel a bit…” Rey took a moment to search for the right words.

 

“Annoyed?” Ben suggested.

 

Rey’s eyes softened at just how obtuse he was being.

 

“Tense.” She corrected.

 

“Tense?” He asked puzzled. “Tense, what do you mean ‘tense’, like I make you feel…”

 

Rey raised her eye brows at him hoping he would get her point. She watched as emotions flittered across his face in the dim recessed lightening as his mouth fell open as realization finally hit him.

 

“Really?” Ben asked eyes wide, his voice a little wonderstruck almost as if this were an outcome that couldn’t possibly be true. “I do?”

 

“I’m sorry.” Rey muttered, looking a little emotionally worse for wear. “I know it’s not ideal and believe me, it’s more bothersome than anything because I’m afraid…” she stopped for a moment to gather her thoughts before proceeding. “I’m afraid that if it gets out of hand, it has the potential of ruining absolutely everything. And I’ve been quite happy here with you these past few days.”

 

Ben nodded as she spoke, his eyes seeming to light up a bit at her last statement.

 

“It’s alright.” He soothed. “Don’t be afraid.” He patted her knee comfortingly. “I feel it too.” He admitted.

 

“You do?” she breathed.

 

“Yeah. Yeah and it can get…” He eyed her up and down.

 

“Distracting.” She whispered.

 

Ben silently agreed, leaning forward to rest his elbows on his knees. He pressed his fingertips together as he casually leaned the sides of his pointer fingers against his lips in thought.

 

He thought about how she had been pressed so close to him in the kitchen, pretending that the heat he saw in her eyes wasn’t all in his head. Imagining that maybe, just maybe, the spell they were under at that moment was shared. The press of her hand against his bare skin, the need for her to be closer, to have more of her…

 

His cock twitched in his pants just thinking about it.

 

‘ _Down, boy.’_ Ben shifted a little in his seat, trying to will his blood to head back north.

 

But then Rey had put so much space between them. The look in her eyes was a defiant mix of anger tinged with a hint of, what Ben could only assume was longing. Ben hadn’t anticipated that the mere action of removing his shirt would have caused her to become so affected but the moment he got near her and she started looking at him like that, he couldn’t help but feel it too.

 

She was just so damn beautiful.

 

“Sooo… what are we going to do about it?” She asked quietly, breaking his train of thought. Ben’s eyes widened slightly as he pivoted his head to regard her. “I mean, we’re obviously not gonna—“

 

“—No, no. Of course not.” He agreed, nodding his head.

 

“Of course not.” She parroted, closing her eyes tightly in embarrassment.

 

“But we _do_ need to keep a lid on this so it doesn’t… uhm… ya know…” He trailed off, huffing a bashful laugh out of his lungs as he let the sentence die between them. He knew full well she understood what he was trying to say.

 

Rey decided to take the bull by the horns since they were already here and having this conversation anyway.

 

“Boil over and make a mess all over the floor? Blow up in our faces? Come crashing down on our heads?” Rey offered.

 

“Right. Exactly. We’ll have to figure something out so that we can avoid—“

 

“—Shit hitting the fan and we don’t find ourselves up a creek without a paddle so we don’t wind up…“

 

“Screwed?” Ben added.

 

A smile made an appearance as it flashed across her face, still tinged red from embarrassment.

 

“No pun intended, obviously.” Ben smirked.

 

Rey’s smile widened.

 

 _‘So damn beautiful.’_ He thought, staring at her.

 

“Ben. I’m glad we can make light of this but we do need to figure out a way to prevent these unwanted feelings, we can’t keep letting this happening.”

 

“Okay, what’s something I do that makes you feel… _tense_.” Ben asked, adding emphasis on the adjective she chose to use to describe essentially being turned on.

 

“Are we really doing this?” She asked.

 

Ben nodded.

“Alright, then.” Rey sat up straight and folded her legs under her on the sofa. She placed a pillow over lap and clasped her hands together on top of it, almost like a student sitting attentive in a classroom, hands folded on her desk. “Let’s start with that thing you do with your mouth.”

 

Ben furrowed his eye brows. “What _thing_?”

 

“You do this thing where you kind of purse you lips together and you move your mouth a bit like you’re trying really hard to hold something back in some way, like…” Rey attempted to imitate him, the end result probably looking more like she was sucking on a sour candy.

 

“I don’t do that.” He defended as he sneered at the face she was making.

 

“You do. I’m just not doing it justice, I suppose. But regardless, it’s… distractive. Your lips are one of your most attractive features.” She said softly, her gaze dancing between his eyes and his mouth, which was now quirked up in a full smirk.

 

 _‘Pompous arse.’_ She thought as she smiled slightly to herself.

“Your turn. What do I do that makes you feel—“

 

“—Your green shirt.” Ben said flatly. “That ratty shirt you wear to bed. You’ll sit and watch TV in it at night or walk around in it in the morning before your shower and it’s _very_ thin and I can see, well, everything.” Ben’s eyes now darted downwards past the column or her throat which he quickly tried to avoid immediately so instead, he looking dramatically up toward the ceiling.

 

Rey looked down at herself. “You mean you can see my…”

 

Ben, still looking up toward the ceiling, nodded. “Uh huh.”

 

“Not like there is much to see, they’re so tiny.” Rey laughed a little.

 

“They’re perfect.” Ben said in a low hum before he could stop himself.

 

His eyes somehow found hers again and she felt a shiver run through her and her heart skipped another little beat as they sat there talking about him basically getting turned on because of her breasts. Suddenly it dawned on her that this is exactly what they were trying to avoid and it made Rey blink away the spell they seemed to both be under… again.

 

“There!” Rey shouted, pointing at him. “Right there. That’s _exactly_ what I’m talking about. The eye gazing, the looking at me like I’m…”

 

“A four course meal?” Ben interjected. Rey’s mouth ran dry as once again, they locked eyes on each other; Ben’s words washing over her…suddenly thinking about him making a meal out of her…

 

Rey swallowed back her lust and cleared her head once more by shaking it.

 

“Yes, _stop_ that!” She said with mock anger, angling herself away from his gaze. “This is precisely what we need to avoid.”

 

Ben let out a long breath and removed himself from the sofa to start pacing back and forth in front of it.

 

“Well, I can’t help it. It’s not something I _plan,_ it just happens.” He said defensively.

 

Ben’s pacing reminded Rey of his lectures. Pacing back and forth in thought like an animal stalking its prey before the strike. His long legs working in strides that brought him from one end of the living room to the other within 3 gigantic steps. His face was a mask of concentration, apparently more effected by this than she thought he would be. Rey couldn’t help thinking that she kept catching hints of something resembling fear here and there during their conversation. Why she sensed that or why he might be feeling that, she wasn’t sure. Rey felt the need to comfort him. He seemed to be taking this very one sided and she wanted to make sure he understood that this was very much a two way street.

 

“Ben, it’s not just you. We both seem to have this effect on each other.”

 

Ben stopped pacing and turned to face her.

 

“You’re right. This is wrong. I didn’t even realize how often this was happening and we can’t let this ruin what we have.” He said a little desperately. “This works _because_ there isn’t physical intimacy between us.”

 

Rey couldn’t help but deflate a little at his words but he was right. If they gave into their churning emotions, this wouldn’t end well for either of them, just as it hadn’t for either of them in past relationships. Someone would either end up getting hurt or leaving or both and Rey couldn’t stand the thought of losing anybody else. So to ensure that he didn’t leave her, as most people ended up doing, she had to keep him at arms length.

 

She just had to.

 

Rey’s silence, Ben must have mistaken for quiet anxiety. He slowly sat on the leather ottoman and faced her as she was still rooted to the spot on the couch.

 

Ben’s face suddenly lit up as an idea hit him.

 

“What if we created some kind of gesture or catch phrase? Something that alerts the other person that whatever they happen to be doing at that moment is causing the other anguish.”

 

Rey tilted her head, intrigued by his suggestion.

 

“Like a sort of safe word?” She pondered.

 

“A safeword.” He repeated. “Yes, exactly!” Ben said.

 

“Okay, like what?”

 

“Hmm…” Ben thought. Ben glanced down at her lap. “ How about pillow?”

 

“No. Too sexual.” Rey said, firmly shaking her head.

 

“A pillow is too sexual?”

 

“Yes. Pillow = bed = sex.” She pointed out.

 

“Alright, how about…” Ben looked down to the material under his hand. “How about leather.”

 

“Are you fucking kidding me…” Rey flatly stated.

 

“No good?”

 

“Leather? Really, Ben? That just about _screams_ sex.”

 

“Alright ‘miss-everything-around-me-is-sensually-erotic’, what do you suggest?”

 

Rey rolled her eyes at him and looked around the room for inspiration.

 

”How about TV?” She said, taking in the first non-sexual mundane object her eyes landed on.

 

Ben glanced behind him and then back at her. “Well, that gives the phrase ‘turning on the TV’ a whole new meaning.” He said mischievously.

 

Rey blinked at him, seemingly annoyed with herself for being so obtuse.

 

“Fair point.” Rey glanced around some more. “What about box?” She suggested.

 

“No. Absolutely not. That’s literally a pseudonym for female anatomy.”

 

She glanced around for more ideas, eyeing the endless shelves on the other side of the room.

 

“Book?”

 

Ben stared at her, dumbfounded.

 

“Seriously, Rey? Are you _trying_ to turn me on?” He asked.

 

Rey had almost forgotten who she was talking to.

 

_‘Of course the word ‘book’ would only coax desire from within him, a professor of literary academia, you dolt!’_

“Ugh, this is impossible!” Rey said, throwing her arms up in the air.

 

Ben wracked his brain a few moments more before remembering something she once said to him.

 

“That night we first spoke about getting married, what did you compare sex to again?” He asking, jogging her memory.  “Ice cream, was it?”

 

Rey searched her memory of that night.

 

“Yeah, I said sex was like ice cream. That I don’t love it but sometimes I get in the mood for it.”

 

Ben gave her a disbelieving look.

 

“How can a person not like ice cream?!” Ben asked, pausing the discussion for a moment.

 

“I don’t know. It’s just… cold and it’s wet and it gets everywhere.” She said with a shrug.

 

“Alright, then. Ice cream it is!” Ben said rubbing his hands together in triumph of _finally_ figuring out a way around this.

 

“So just to reiterate,” Rey said. “Each and every time one of us does something that makes the other feel like they are turning up the heat too much, we’re going to extinguish it by saying the word ‘ice cream’.”

 

“Well technically it’s two words, but yes.” He said with a lopsided grin.

 

“Alright, we’ll try it.” She said in agreement. “Now that _that_ is settled, I’m gonna go finish cleaning up.”

 

Rey stood up and stretched high in the air, her shirt rising up above her taunt stomach, exposing the skin below her navel which was now eye level with Ben’s face.

 

His face was close enough to her tummy that if he only leaned forward a little, he could press it against her skin, nuzzle himself against her core. Maybe she’d thread her fingers through his hair as he inhaled the scent of her…

 

”Ice cream.” Ben said flatly, looking up at her as she slowly put her hands back down to her sides.

 

Their eyes met again as she stared down at him and he up at her through his thick dark lashes that framed the hunger in his eyes. “Ice cream.” He said again, this time the base of his voice was much lower. So low, in fact, that it hummed against her skin.

 

Rey’s breathing accelerated through her parted lips as she stared back at him.

 

“Noted.” She whispered.

 

Ben cleared his throat and let his gaze drop as Rey made to hurry toward the kitchen to finish cleaning up from their dinner which seemed as if it were hours ago. Ben removed himself from the ottoman and plopped back on the couch.

 

Ben sat there trying to get his mind settled around the fact that Rey, this woman, his _wife_ just admitted to the fact that she, for one reason or another, found him sexually appealing. After weeks of trying to suppress these unwanted urges he had for her and telling himself to forget it and just be her friend so they could accomplish some life goals together, here she was seemingly just as effected as he was.

 

 _‘Great. Juuuuuust great.’_ He thought.

 

“Want to finish watching that documentary we started the other night?” Rey called out from the kitchen, raising her voice so he could hear her over the running water.

 

“Okay.” He called back, echoing the volume in her voice.

 

“I’m going to make myself some popcorn, do you want anything?” She asked him as she continued to load the dishwasher.

 

“Sure!” Ben said, turning on the TV and queuing up Netflix.

 

“What would you like?” She offered, her volume still raised a little so she could be heard over the banging and clanging as she hand washed the pots and pans.

 

“Anything but ice cream.” Ben muttered under his breath.

 

“What was that?” She called out, not hearing him.

 

“Nothing.” He recovered quickly. He was about to yell back that popcorn would be just fine but the ding of the door bell interrupted him.

 

“I got it.” Rey said shutting off the water and bringing a welcomed silence back to the apartment.

 

Rey dried her hands with a dish towel that she flung over her right shoulder as she padded her way towards the front door and wrenched it open.

 

Rey’s face went from shock to confusion to complete happiness within the span of mere seconds as she took in the appearance of the man standing before her on the other side of the doorway. A man that was back two weeks earlier than expected from his honeymoon.

 

“Finn!!” She cried out as she outright beamed at her best friend. “You’re back?”

 

Finn’s face didn’t falter as he addressed her.

 

“You’re married?”

 

He didn’t return her smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please note that I wrote half of this while eating half a pint of Ben & Jerry's! I hope you all enjoyed. I am really excited to write the next few chapters because it's going to get...sticky.
> 
> I apologize for any typos, I take full responsibility for them! 
> 
> Please discuss any and all creamy goodness by leaving me a quick comment and let me know what you think as this ridiculous story heads due south!
> 
> KUDOS=COOL
> 
> COMMENTS=FUEL!!!!


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I thought it was all a big mistake or that maybe I had enjoyed myself a little too much in Amsterdam and these were the aftereffects but when I talked to Kay, she confirmed that this information was, in fact, correct.”
> 
> “You talked to Kaydel? And she didn’t tell you—“
> 
> “—she gave me an address and an earful about how all the info I wanted should come from you, so here I am.”

The Mirror Has Two Faces

A Reylo AU

 

 

 

“You’re married?” He asked again.

 

The smile on Rey’s face faded into a terrified frown.

 

She closed her eyes tight, trying to block out the hurt in his face, hoping this was just a bad dream.

 

“How did you find out?” Rey said in a small voice.

 

“Jesus, so it _is_ true? Rey, what the hell is going on!” Finn paused, giving her a second to answer. When she didn’t make any attempt to speak, he continued.

 

“I came back early because I was worried about you.” He began. “Couldn’t stop thinking how Rose and I had left you alone and how you were tending shop mostly by yourself so Poe and I agreed to come back a week early. As soon as I landed, I called you but surprise, surprise! You didn’t answer your phone so I went right to your place and some purple haired queen of the fairies answers the door and proceeds to tell me that you and your _husband_ are now living down town.” He said the words as if he himself couldn’t believe he was saying them. “I thought it was all a big mistake or that maybe I had enjoyed myself a little too much in Amsterdam and these were the aftereffects but when I talked to Kay, she confirmed that this information was, in fact, correct.”

 

“You talked to Kaydel? And she didn’t tell you—“

 

“—she gave me an address and an earful about how all the info I wanted should come from you, so here I am.”

 

Rey didn’t say anything, still trying to play catch up with the last few minutes. When she didn’t speak or offer up any further information, Finn continued.

 

“I go away for a few weeks, you don’t return any of my calls or emails, you hardly text… and then I come back to find out that, not only are you married, you’ve moved _and_ you’ve rented the apartment above the café? Do you know how insane this all sounds to me?” Finn asked disbelieving; his voice a little louder than what Rey is used to hearing from him.

 

“I know, Finn. I know. But if you’d just give me a moment, I’ll explain everything.” She said, her hands raised defensively in front of her to placate him.

 

“No moments. You’ll explain _right_ _now.”_ Finn demanded.

 

Rey closed her eyes again and sighed as she took in a large breath, readying herself to explain what she had been up to the last few weeks.

 

At least, the version of the last few weeks that Ben and her had rehearsed.

 

“Before you left, Ben and I started seeing each other and we—“

 

“—Ben? Who the hell is _Ben?_ We don’t even _know_ anybody by that name!” Finn said with a sneer.

 

“We do, actually.” Rey corrected. “His name is Ben Solo, we started seeing each other around the time of your engagement and while you were away, we—“

 

“Hold on.” Finn interrupted, placing a hand up to physically and verbally stop her from proceeding. “ _Professor_ Solo? Professor Fucking Solo? That asshole English teacher at the university that berates us every time we get his order wrong?

 

At that very ill timed moment, Ben appeared around the corner from the kitchen, wondering what was keeping Rey.  
  
“Rey? I have Netflix all cued up and the popcorn is ready, who’s…” He started but the moment he made eye contact with the irate man still lingering out in the hallway, Ben stopped dead in his tracks. “Oh, shit.” He said under his breath.

 

“YOU!!” Finn bellowed and stormed into the apartment, almost barreling Rey over in an attempt to get to Ben. “What have you done to her!”

 

“Woah, woah, woah!” Ben said, putting his hands up in front of him to defend himself as he circled the couch to avoid Finn’s menacing advances. “Relax, I haven’t done anything to her.” Ben said loudly and seemingly quite annoyed at being threatened in his own home.

 

“Finn, if you’d just stop and listen, we would explain everything to you.” Rey offered as she closed the door and came into the living room.

 

Finn halted his swift journey around the couch and stopped trying to catch Ben long enough to look at Rey.

 

“Peanut, I know you’re lonely and I know my engagement wasn’t easy on you but I never thought you’d be desperate enough to go and do something like this.” He spat.

 

“Desperate?” She asked insulted.

 

“Hey!” Ben said in his own defense.

 

Finn looked at Ben again and advanced towards him once again in the opposite direction as if suddenly remembering that his plan was to catch him and pummel him into the next century.

 

“You don’t get to be insulted!” Finn said violently pointing at Ben. He tried to swipe at his arm in order to catch him as they continued to race around the leather furniture. Thankfully, Ben’s long legs allowed him to stay one step ahead of Finn, despite his speed.

 

Rey could only watch as the two men engaged in a high tempered adult version of ‘ring-around-the-rosy’ in her living room.

 

 _‘At this rate, they are going to wear a circle into the carpet.’_ Rey thought, rolling here eyes.

 

“Finn, Ben, _please_ stop! Let’s just talk about—“

 

“I don’t know how you manipulated her into this—“ Finn spat at Ben, completely ignoring Rey. “—but I’m going to see that it’s immediately expunged. An annulment, divorced, widowed! The thought’s already crossed my mind, imagining all the different ways I might kill you for taking advantage of her!”

 

They paused, both a little winded.

 

“Oh, a thought’s crossed your mind?” Ben asked cocking his head to the side, as if he was studiously eager to know the answer. “That must have been a long and lonely journey.”

 

Finn gaped at him exasperatingly before giving chase once more.

 

“That’s right, use your rapier wit to try to get the upper hand. Meanwhile, I’ll upper cut your face—” Finn snarked back, speeding up his movements and trying to swipe again at Ben, seething through his teeth at each attempt.

 

“If…” _swipe_ “I…” _swipe_ “can ever…” _swipe, swipe_ “catch you!”

 

“Guys!” Rey called out to them. They both continued to ignore her but paused once again, both panting and attempting to catch their breath.

 

“How did you do it? Did you prey on her loneliness? Seduce her with your big fancy words and PhD?”

 

“Maybe it was my BDE.” Ben smirked.

 

The darker man’s eyes widened with outrage.

 

“You son of a—“

 

Finn lunched across the top of the sofa and landed smack on top of Ben, tackling him to the floor in front of the ottoman.

 

There they were. Two grown men acting ridiculously juvenile as they took turns gaining the upper hand, squabbling and thrashing about right in front of Rey, neither of them paying her any mind as they each tried to throttle the other.

 

Between the awkward altercation with Ben earlier and Finn showing up out of the blue, Rey had had quite enough for today.

 

Finn was now on top of Ben. He was about to land his first punch but Ben had his large hand around Finn’s neck, attempting to keep the enraged man as far away from himself as he could with his long arms.

 

“ENOUGH!” Rey shouted, loud enough for them both to pause their tussle and turn to stare at her.

 

“Finn, get off of my husband and sit down! At least give us both a chance to speak before attempting to bash Ben’s head in.” Rey demanded, throwing her hands up in the air for good measure to emphasize the dramatics, glaring at her best friend all the while.

 

Finn looked down at Ben, still scowling but relinquished his hold on him slightly before sighing and getting to his feet. He looked at Rey and nodded before sitting, placing his hands in his lap.

 

“Alright, speak.” Finn goaded, looking up in to her eyes.

 

Ben peeled himself off the floor and stood glowering at Rey’s hot headed friend before sauntered into the kitchen. His eyes caught Rey’s as he brushed by her. His hand came to rest on her shoulder and squeezed lightly, silently letting her know that they were still in this together.

 

Rey nodded gently at Ben, reaching up to give his hand a light pat in recognition of his support.

 

Rey slowly walked over to the sofa and sat herself besides Finn. For a minute they just stared at each other. His confusion and hurt and anger were easy to read. Like her, he was an open book and regardless of how they acted outwardly, their eyes said it all.

 

Rey tried to imagine how she might feel if this were the other way around. How she would react if she had gone away and come back to find the life of her best friend completely changed, not letting the person who has been there through it all be part of such an important life experience. How would she feel?

 

She supposed, she thought, she would be acting just like he was.

 

Hurt, confused…

 

Betrayed.

 

“Finn, I know this is a lot to deal with. I was planning on telling you, Poe and Rose when you got back in my own way. And, in my defense, I wasn’t expecting you to be back so soon.” She stated.

 

“Sorry to have messed up your plans.” Finn spat. “And exactly how were you planning on tell us?”

 

“I hadn’t quite figured that part out yet.” She admitted, her face falling back towards her lap.

 

Ben came back into the living room, handing Rey a glass of water which she took appreciatively. When he tried to hand the other glass of water to Finn, the seated man just glared up at him. Eventually Ben gave up and placed the water on the tray in front of him.

 

Ben thought it best to remain standing but stood far enough away, leaning against the adjacent wall from where Finn and Rey were currently sitting; acting as a silent presence in case his input was needed. Due to the thin ice both he and Rey seemed to be walking on at the moment and seeing as how Finn’s temper seemed to be teeter tottering on the edge of a yoga breath and hell’s fire, Ben thought it would be best to be seen and not heard.

 

When Finn still hadn’t said anything for a moment, Rey started again.

 

“I can understand how you must be feeling but I want you to know, Ben and I—“

 

“Do you love him?” Finn interrupted, her words dying on her tongue.

 

Rey blinked a few times, taken aback by Finn’s question.

 

Rey opened and closed her mouth, hoping the perfect answer would form on her tongue and spill forward but her brain seemed to shut down right at that moment and thus, no sound escaped her lips.

 

She inwardly panicked, attempting to outwardly keep her cool as she looked down to the floor before chancing a look across the room at Ben.

 

His eyes were already on her, wide and filled with something that Rey couldn’t— _wouldn’_ t name. It was mixed with fear and general intrigue and there seemed to be a tinge of something resembling sadness in his golden brown hues.

 

Rey didn’t want to lie to Finn but she felt that no matter what answer she gave him, it would be only a semblance of the truth. No, she wasn’t in love with him. But yes, she _did_ love Ben in a way.

 

The way one loves a friend.

 

A friend who was becoming more and more important to her, filling her days with a wholeness that Rey had never known before. A friend that filled a vast pit of dark emptiness that’s been gaping wide open since Finn left, perhaps maybe even before that.

 

A friend that she finds herself _extremely_ attracted to. Her attempts at controlling said attraction faltering more and more with every day they spent together. A friend that makes her want to jump on him like a vault but also simultaneously want to ram his head into a wall at warp speed when his mouth would get the better of him…

 

‘ _That mouth…”_ She mused. “ _Ugh! Focus, Rey.”_

 

A friend that she saw shirtless for the first time today and the physical effect it had on her wasn’t exactly a platonically appropriate reaction. In fact, it had made her feel so shamelessly wanton and out of control, she half considered dropping to her knees and begged him to put his mouth on her heated skin.

 

A reaction that was very foreign to Rey.

 

That reaction in and of itself was enough to bring about her heated conversation with Ben earlier. That feeling of being turned on which she usually drably would refer to as ‘being in the mood’ but this…

 

This was something else.

 

So, no. Maybe not.

 

_‘Definitely not.’_

 

Not like a friend at all, really.

 

Ben must have seen the same wide eyed panic mirrored in Rey’s gaze and his eyes softened slightly as if they were privately sharing a little secret just between the two of them. The sides of his pretty mouth twitched up into a small smile to ease the tension in the room, to quell her anxieties and put his own aside.

 

Rey beamed at him in return.

 

“Okay... I’ve seen enough, I can’t do this.” Finn announced, looking between the two of them, startling the moment the two seemed to be silently sharing.

 

He removed himself from the couch and started toward the door.

 

“Finn, please. You just got here. Come back, let’s talk.” She got up, following him. “I’ve missed you so much and I want to hear about your trip.”

 

“I’ve done enough talking.” Finn said, reaching the door and placing his hand on the handle. “I need some time.” He looked at the floor. His hand was neither turning nor releasing his hold on the door knob as if unsure of what he wanted to do.

 

“What do you mean, time? You mean you just not going to talk to me? That’s not fair, Finn! I’ve always been so supportive of you and your relationships, why can’t you afford me the same respect?” Rey demanded.

 

He didn’t answer. He just continued to look at the floor.

 

When enough silence stretched between them, Finn finally moved his hand to open the door, the screech of the metal handle grating violently on her heart as he moved out into the hallway.

 

He was _really_ leaving.

 

Rey’s eyes swam with tears at his icy demeanor. This wasn’t like Finn. He was always so emotionally accommodating and the fact that he wasn’t willing to listen, wasn’t willing to fight about this was alarming to Rey.  Instead, he was just giving up and it made the hurt and anger she felt that much more potent.

 

Like she was expendable… easily forgotten.

 

Like she wasn’t worth the fight and not worth fighting for.

 

Rey looked meekly down at the floor, her eyes unfocused, tears now rolling down her cheeks.

 

“Please, Finn... Please don’t go.” She whispered, still staring at the floor. “You’re my best friend and I—“ _sniff_ “—I need you.” She looked up as he stood in the doorway, his eyes wet with unshed, angry tears.

 

He shrugged.

 

“What for?” Finn choked out.

 

He took one last long look at Rey and walked down the hallway and out of sight.

 

Rey continued to stare at the space Finn had just occupied, unwilling to accept the fact that he wasn’t still standing in front of her.

 

He knew, _he knew_ how she felt about being left behind. And yet, he had still walked away.

 

A fresh batch of desperate and hopelessly angry tears welled in her eyes and Rey furrowed her brows before slamming the door closed. She placed both palms flat on the wood grain and leaned her forehead against it and let out a loud, pitious sob.

 

Before she could succumb to the wracking sobs that followed, a pair of strong arms wrapped around her waist.

 

Ben buried his face into her hair at the side of her neck, soothing her with shushing whispers; his comforting weight pinning her gently against the door.

 

“Shhh…” He whispered in her ear. “Shhh, its okay, Rey. I’ve got you, sweetheart. I’m here.” He promised. “I’m here.”

 

They stood there unmoving as she cried. Ben nuzzling his face into her neck, reminding her over and over of his presence and telling her with soft words and hushed whispers that she wasn’t alone.

 

After a few moments, her tears ebbed and she took large breaths in their place to sooth herself.

 

Ben loosened his hold on her as her hands moved slowly from the door and placed them over his larger ones that were still wrapped around her.

 

“You okay?” He asked as she stood still wrapped in his embrace.

 

Rey nodded.

 

She slowly turned to face him but he didn’t move back. He just stared down into her eyes, sturdy and strong in front of her as he wiped away the hair from her face, erasing the tear trails from her cheeks with the pad of his thumb.

 

“He’ll come around.” Ben assured her, his voice deep and soft like dark velvet enveloping her in warmth. “I promise. It’ll be okay.”

 

Rey nodded again, wrapping one arm comfortingly around her middle as the other laced her fingers into his, silently thanking him and letting him know she was okay.

 

“Come on. I got a whole bucket of buttered popcorn that I know you won’t let me throw away.”

 

He pulled her over to the couch and sat her down before going to retrieve the popcorn from the kitchen.

 

“I’m not hungry.” She said when he returned.

 

“Rey, you could be at the height of devastation and you still wouldn’t let food go to waste.” He said handing her the large bowl.

 

_‘Dammit, why did he have to be right all the time?’_

 

She sighed and popped a few pieces into her mouth, chewing slowly.

 

Satisfied with the fact that he was right and that her tears had subsided, he pressed play and they watched TV and ate their popcorn in silence for a few minutes before Ben’s gaze flickered between her and the screen.

 

“And by the way…”

 

Rey looked at him, chewing her popcorn.

 

“So much fucking ice-cream.” He said in a low voice.

 

Rey stopped chewing and wide-eyed stared at him.

 

Ben let a laugh escape his lips, humor written all over his face.

 

_‘He’s trying to make you smile.’_

 

Rey giggled and threw popcorn at his face which Ben easily caught and shoved into his mouth. Rey gave him a thankful smile and her bright eyes became even more luminescent at the thought of how thoroughly this man was following through on his promise to be a good husband.

 

They stared at each other a moment in the dark, the muscle under Ben’s eye twitched and found that they couldn’t look away from one another.

 

Not wanting the moment to turn into a ‘safe word’ situation, Rey cleared her throat and dramatically fisted another large handful of popcorn into her mouth. Ben once again grimaced at the atrocity of her eating habits and they both returned to watching their documentary on the mating cycles of arctic penguins.

 

 

***

 

The next morning, Rey awoke with a gray shadow hanging over her head. Rey text Finn a few times last night and they had gone unanswered so she tossed and turned all night, worrying about the outcome of all this before finally allowing herself the comfort of sleep at the early hours of morning.

 

The few hours of sleep Rey did end up getting were fitful and nightmareish. Calling out the names of her friends as they walked through a gray fog away from her.

 

She screamed and begged for them to come back.

 

They never even turned around.

 

The only thing that kept the demons at bay within her dream world was the promise of the warmth of the sunrise at her back.

 

Rey couldn’t explain why but the comforting warmth felt like Ben’s embrace.

 

She readied herself for work as Ben made a quick breakfast for them. Rey poured herself an extra large cup of coffee and sipping it quickly to force the caffeinated drug to enter her blood stream. Rey had a few minutes before she had to leave and she sat on the edge of her bed, zombified.

 

If Rey was grateful for anything, it was the fact that at least the cat was out of the bag and rebuilding her relationship with Finn and acclimating him to her new life was going to be the next steps. She just had to patient, like Ben said.

 

And Rey _was_ very good at waiting…

 

…and fixing broken things.

 

And right now, her friendships had cracks in them. Cracks that needed repair and the only way to do that was to start smoothing things over.

 

Rey grabbed her cell phone and stared at her contacts for a moment before hitting the green button, placing the phone to her ear and waited for a voice to answer on the other end.

 

“Rey!” A joyous voice announced as the ringing ceased.

 

“Rose.” Rey smiled on a half sob.

 

“Rey, I’m so glad that you called me. I’m so happy to hear from you!” Rey could practically hear Rose beaming from 2400 miles away. “Actually, I’m glad to hear from anyone. I am so damn bored out here. You have _NO_ idea how glad I am that we’ll be coming home next week. I just want the beach and the sea and to not get third degree burns when I walk out the door!” Rose said with distain. “I’ve been landlocked in a desert wasteland and the only saving grace is the Mexican food and the fact that it’s too hot to cook. So needless to say, we have been eating _a lot_ of Mexican food. You’d love it, Rey. Endless chips and guac, all day, every day, everywhere you go.”

 

Rey giggled at her friends’ tirade, obviously ecstatic to have someone to talk to.

 

A pang of guilt riddled Rey’s conscience and she sighed at having to break Rose’s gleeful mood and damper it like she did Finn’s.

 

Rey pondered her anxieties as Rose kept talking.

 

“…but who even knows if that’s the truth but regardless, they seem to be doing better now that they are in therapy and she’s willing to hear his side so that’s made Eric really happy.” Rose finally took a large breath. “Sooo… what have _you_ been up too? I have barely heard anything from you in weeks!”

 

 _‘Insert large stab of guilt here.’_ Rey thought.

 

“I called Finn last night. Did you know that he was coming back a little early? Have you seen him? Are him and Poe disgustingly inseparable now that they’re married? I’ll bet we’ll need to turn the hose on them again. God, remember how they were when they first started dating? This will probably be worse. He didn’t really seem in the mood to talk to me last night though, something about not believing that it all happened so quickly and how he wasn’t prepared which sounded like gibberish to me. I hope he’s okay.”

 

“I’m sure he’s fine.”

 

“Well, when I get back, I’m having you both over for some much needed catch up time. I’m serious, if both of you aren’t armed and ready with wine and a cheese plate by the time I make it to my front door, I swear I will make both of you sing the most repulsive holiday songs at Christmas Karaoke.” Rose laughed and it sounded like music to Rey’s ears but it somehow also made her woeful.

 

_‘Here goes nothing.’_

“Of course, I’ll be there. Just tell me the day and time. I’ve missed you and Finn so much and I—“ Her voice broke and she couldn’t make herself finish her sentence.

 

A pause on the other line.

 

“Rey?” Rose asked, sounding a little confused. “Is everything okay?”

 

Rey sobered a little and swallowed.

 

She could do this.

 

“Rose, I have to tell you something.” Rey said flatly. She absentmindedly squeezed the lacy decorative pillow on her bed so hard as she readied herself to speak that the pattern of the lace became imbedded in her palm. “It’s about Ben.”

 

She stopped speaking waiting for Rose to give her the ‘uh huh’ cue to continue but Rose being Rose, didn’t take the bait.

 

“I am so excited right now!” Rose said with triumphant enthusiasm.

 

“Uhm… why?” Rey asked confused.

 

“Because I’m hoping you’ll tell me some sordid detail about how he swept you off your feet and you two fell madly in love and decided to elope because you just couldn’t wait to be together!” She sighed dramatically and laughed.

 

Rey blinked twice.

 

Three times.

 

She shook her head and blinked a bunch more.

“Rose—why— when— how can you have possibly known that!?” Rey asked her friend, shockingly wondering if Rose was some kind of psychic medium.

 

Rose just laughed at her friend. “Wouldn’t that be amazing?”

 

“No seriously, Rose. Are you sure you haven’t spoken to Finn? Did he tell you anything?” Rey’s eyes were wide with surprise.

 

“No, I told you he rushed me off the phone. Why do you sound so shocked?”

 

“Because Ben and I _did_ elope and get married!” Rey reiterated.

 

The laughter on the other end of the line stopped.

 

Rose took a few large deep breaths that Rey could hear clearly through the phone. “Okay… now I’m scared because I no longer thing you’re kidding.”

 

Rey’s inner panic must have translated wirelessly when she didn’t reply. A long dead silence stretched across the connection until Rose finally must have found her voice.

 

“Rey… are— are you serious?” She asked, her voice low and breathy.

 

“I uhm…”

 

What could she say?

 

“Surprise!” Rey stated weakly, wincing at her poor reply.

 

Another long pause.

 

“OH MY GOD, REY! OH MY GOD!”

 

Rey had to hold the phone away from her ear. Even without her phone being on speaker, the boisterous shrieks coming from the ear piece of her phone could be heard clear throughout the apartment.

 

Rey jumped off of her bed to shut the door to keep the conversation private as she continued to listen to Rose shouting across the country through her phone.

 

“REY! WOW!! Oh my God.” Rose took a deep breath. “Oh my God.” She whispered. “Oh my _God_!” Rose shouted again.

 

“I know… I know, Rose. I’m so—I am so, so sorry—“

 

“—This is unbelievable. What… how… what?”

 

“I wanted to tell you. I was going to tell you when you got back but then Finn showed up and he found out from the new tenant renting above the cafe—“

 

“How did this happen? What did he say? What did _you_ say? How did you and him—“

 

“—and he was so mad, Rose. I couldn’t even get a word in edgewise. He wouldn’t even listen to me! And its official, he hates Ben. He absolutely _HATES_ him.”

 

“Wait, you moved?”

 

“I moved in with Ben.”

 

“OH MY GOD!” Rose shrieked again.

 

“Can you please say something other than ‘oh my god’?”

 

“Holy fucking shit!”

 

“I think I preferred ‘oh my god’.”

 

“I’m sorry, Rey but this is…” she tapered off.

 

Rey readied herself for the outburst now that Rose’s confusion was subsiding.

 

“Its all just so—“ Rose paused. “—so incredibly—“ Rose sniffed. “—it’s all just so incredibly—“ her voice got tighter and smaller.

 

She was crying. Rose was crying. She had made her friend cry because of one of her stupid hair brained decisions.

 

_‘Great.’_

Rey squeezed her eyes shut, awaiting the onslaught of disappointment Rose must be feeling. But instead…

 

“Its just all so absolutely incredibly…” Rose paused again and Rey opened one eye waiting.

 

“—romantic!” Rose sobbed. “Its so romantic, Rey. You must be so in love and I am just so happy for you. For you both!”

 

Well, that certainly wasn’t what she was expecting.

 

“Wait, wait. You’re happy about this?” Rey asked her friend incredulously.

 

“Well, yeah… are you happy?” Rose asked in return.

 

Rey pondered her question.

 

What was it about these questions she found so hard to answer?

 

_‘Are you happy?’_

_‘Do you love him?’_

 

Rey poked her head out the door of her bedroom. Ben was dishing up scrambled eggs onto a plate with careful precision, humming to himself all the while in a deep dulcet tone. He turned to remove the bacon from the oven and placed the tray on the table, shutting the oven door with one of the long tree trunks he calls a leg. Rey smiled to herself and softly closed her bedroom door.

 

“Yes.” She said. “Yes Rose, I am. I’m happy.” Rey whispered softly to her friend. “ _Very_ happy, actually.”

 

She meant it.

 

_‘Huh.’_

 

“Then, yes. Of course I’m happy for you!” Rose gushed. “I’ve been waiting for you to find someone that isn’t the emotional equivalent of a sloppy joe for years!”

 

She was definitely talking about Matt.

 

“Now we can finally double date and do fun couply things that you always opt out of because of how completely lonely you—“ Rose’s voice faded.

 

A long pause.

 

“I know.” Rey finally said. “I know I was...”

 

Rose cleared her throat.

 

“Well, wow... Little Rey is married, huh? And to Professor Ben Solo of all people. My colleague. Go figure!” Rose said with humor. “Actually, it’s kinda weird.”

 

“So weird.” Rey agreed.

 

They both laughed.

 

“I can’t wait to see you. I miss you, Ro-Ro.”

 

“I miss you too, Rey-Rey.”

 

It dawned on Rey that this was it. It was now all out in the open! No more secrets, no more hiding, no more wondering every day how she was going to break the news to her two best friends. It was done.

 

But now what?

 

All the things that Rey once looked forward to attending with Ben on her arm started to make her a little uneasy. Hanging out with her friends, going to parties…

 

 _‘The Holidays…’_ Rey shuddered at even thinking of the cold during the excessively delicious heat they were still experiencing.

 

But now that she and Ben were ‘out of the closet’, so to speak, how were they supposed to act or behave with one another? How would their friendship shift like the tides from plutonic behind closed doors to romantic out in public and how would they ever be able to abstain from crossing lines that were already so blurred?

 

Suddenly the prospect of having to pretend in front of her friends for the sake of saving face sounded a lot more difficult than it once had when this all started.

 

“Rey?”

 

“Yes, Rose?

 

“So is it true what they say?”

 

“Is what true?”

 

“Ya know… big hands, big feet, big—“

 

“Rose!”

 

Rose just laughed on the other end of the line at Rey’s mortification.

 

On Rey’s end, she blushed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, I know... Finn was kinda selfish AF in this chapter and I'll get more into him and Rey and Rose altogether with their boys so things can be a little clearer.  
> Speaking of Rose, I *love* writing her. She's just the bestest best friend a girl could ask for! I dedicate her character to not only KMT but my actual bestie, TME! Love you, girl... <3
> 
> We're also gonna come back to that book Rey found.
> 
> And Rey's changing of her last name...
> 
> What *is* her last name anyway... (ponders this while eating Thanksgiving leftovers)
> 
> Soooo the next chapter is when things will start to get more.. umm... entertaining (so to speak) 
> 
> **winkwink**
> 
> Finally gonna earn that E rating soon, THANK GOD! I'm covered in burns over here from how sexually slow this has been progressing. But LORT is it so much more delicious when it finally happens!
> 
> Hope you've all enjoyed! Let me know by dropping me a comment. They surely do fuel my passion to churn out the chapters faster!
> 
> KUDOS ARE COOL
> 
> COMMENTS ARE FUEL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She had her eyes closed, relishing in his closeness. Ben opened his and looked at her. Her sweet, beautiful face blurred before him and he pulled back slightly to view her better. She opened her eyes as he brought her palm from his cheek to his lips and kissed it tenderly, his eyes focused on hers.
> 
> Once.
> 
> Twice.

The Mirror Has Two Faces

A Reylo AU

 

 

 

“Just say the word, and we’ll leave.” Ben said as he and Rey approached the front door of a small cape style home on the outskirts of town.

 

The house that they stood in front of was light gray with black shutters that sat on a dead end street in a row of houses that all looked similar. There were children and families littering the street on this bright Sunday morning. A warm breeze played lazily with the blades of grass of the perfectly manicured lawns as parents played with their children in their yards. Some children were riding bikes or throwing a ball for their dogs. Some neighbors chatted idly as their kids attempted in vain to get their attention to watch them pop a wheeley for the eighth time. 

 

It was the perfect place to call home.

 

The perfect place to raise a family.

 

Rey smiled at them with a comforting thought that perhaps on this street, life was everything she had always dreamed of.

 

“Rey?” Ben said, waving a hand in front of her face. Rey shook off her thoughts and rang the door bell.

 

“I’m sure it’ll all be fine.” She answered with an air of false confidence.

 

Because she wasn’t sure, was she?

 

It had been a week. An entire week of pussyfooting around each other, _trying_ to act as if everything was normal.

 

But it wasn’t normal.

 

Finn had barely looked at her since he left her standing in her doorway with tears in her eyes and a pain in her heart. He hadn’t ignored her completely but he had gone out of his way to make sure she knew that he was still not ready to hear her out whenever their paths crossed at the café.

 

Well today, Rey was determined to have her say.

 

Rose was _finally_ home and the first thing she did was make plans to have the whole group over for a celebratory brunch.

 

“We’ll celebrate Finn and Poe and their marriage, all of us under one roof after weeks of not seeing each other and…“

 

“And?” Rey wondered aloud when Rose had called her to discuss her plans while waiting to board her flight home.

 

“You and Ben.” She said as she smiled into the phone. “I want to celebrate you both. I had a feeling about you two.”

 

Rey’s heart thudded with guilt at the fact that she was essentially duping all her friends. Such a façade shouldn’t be celebrated.

 

But Rey couldn’t help the smile that spread across her face.

 

So now, the day had come. Rose and Eric hadn’t been off the plane for more than 12 hours and now she and Ben were ringing their doorbell armed with a bottle of champagne and a box full of Rey’s homemade pain au chocolat.  

 

“Leave the rest of the food to me!” Rose had said.

 

When the door swung open Rey beamed at her friend and Rose stared right back at her as her eyes welled with…

 

Tears?

 

Rey’s smile faltered at the sight of her best friend in sudden emotional distress so she did the only thing she’d wanted to do since she found out she was coming home.

 

She threw her arms around her and hugged her tight.

 

“Rose, what’s wrong? Why are you crying?” Rey asked her as Rose attempted to cut off her air supply.

 

“I’m just so happy!” She sobbed. “I missed you and I’m just so happy.”

  
Rose sniffled and released Rey, turning her sights to Ben who looked at her awkwardly.

 

Ben was not good with tears. He wasn’t good with outward displays of emotions and here this tiny spitfire of a woman was, sobbing in hysterics as he stood there gaping at her, thankful that his hands had a box to hold on to.

 

“Professor Solo.” Rose nodded at him still sniffling.

 

“Ben, please.” He said, telling her that it was alright to call him by his first name.

 

Fresh waterworks streamed out of Rose’s eyes as she bull-charged at Ben and threw her arms around his middle. Ben hoisted the box of goodies in the air and just stood there as she squeezed him tight, looking at Rey in a silent plea.

 

“A little help here?” He said to her.

 

Rey just rolled her eyes and reached up and grabbed the box from him and turned to go inside.

 

“That’s not quite what I meant.” Ben called after her.

 

Rey entered the kitchen where Eric sat at the middle island reading on his iPad. He didn’t look up when she put down her items on the shiny granite. Whatever he was reading, it looked as though it was terrifying him.

 

“Good thriller?” Rey said, getting Eric’s attention.

 

“Hey!” Eric greeted her, putting his tablet down and giving her a big hug. “Where’s the new husband?” He asked, looking behind her as if he was expecting Ben to be attached at her heels.

 

“He’s being violently accosted on the front steps by your tear drenched wife.” Rey said with a small laugh as she started to plate her goodies on a tray that Rose had left out on the island as Eric was attempting to pop the champagne. “What’s up with that by the way?” Rey asked a little quieter.

 

“With what?”

 

“The crying. That’s third time this week. Once, when I told her about Ben and I, the second when I told her I broke my ‘a drink for every sweet cupcasion’ mug and now as soon as she opened the door, she’s sobbing like I told her she could never see a puppy again.”

 

Eric furrowed his brow and concentrated harder than was necessary on removing the foil from the mouth of the bottle.

 

“She’s, um—“ He paused. “—just happy to be home, I guess.”

 

Rey raised an eyebrow at his answer and was about to ask him how Arizona was when Ben and Rose entered the kitchen.

 

Ben moved quickly to Rey’s side as if elated to be away from the woman who was still donning red puffy eyes but seemed to have sobered from her crying jag.

 

Rose went into the bathroom and closed the door.

 

“Why did you leave me alone with her? She started asking me questions about our marriage and they were _not_ of the PG-13 variety.” Ben whispered to Rey.

 

“That’s my wife for ya!” Eric said, reaching across the island. “Eric.” He introduced himself.

 

Ben reached out and shook the offered hand. “Ben.”

 

“Nice to meet you.”

 

“Likewise.”

 

They all looked around in awkward silence.

 

“So.” Eric started. “How good must the sex have been for you two to run off and get married within the span of two and a half months?” He said with a goofy grin.

 

Rey pinched her eyes shut and winced while Ben’s mouth fell open. He looked at Rey as she peeked up at him. “This is only going to get worse, isn’t it?” Ben asked her.

 

“I’m afraid so.” She said through gritted teeth as she plucked a grape from the fruit bowl on the island and threw it at Eric’s chest. He caught it before it could hit the counter and popped it in his mouth.

 

“Welcome to the fun house, Ben.” Eric said as he walked away, carrying two trays of food to the kitchen table.

 

Rey was about to offer an excuse for her friends to Ben when Rose came out of the bathroom and into the kitchen to join them; all traces of tears erased from her freshly washed face.

 

“So, I got the good bagels from the place on Hoth Street. I made the vegetable cream cheese myself and there’s lox and red onion to go along with them. I have fruit, cheese and crackers, a French toast bake that still has to go in the oven, grilled watermelon and arugala salad with fennel and walnuts, the pan au chocolat that you brought, thanks for bringing that by the way, and the quiche is in the oven. Do you think that’s enough?” Rose asked, her face clearly believing that it somehow wouldn’t be.

 

Rey gaped at her friend.

 

“Rose, I think that’s enough for an entire rebellion army.”

 

“Told you!” Eric said as he walked back to join them around the center island.

 

“And I told you not to let me shop when I’m hungry!” She fired back.

 

Ben had mirth in his eyes as he watched the two playfully bicker back and forth. Rey watched his face, happy that he got to partake in the normalcy that was their get-together’s. Rey didn’t realize how much she had missed them until this moment and Ben being here somehow added to her glee.

 

“Have no fear; the sexiest dynamic due is here!” A loud male voice called from down the hallway.

 

Finn and Poe walked into the kitchen and stopped dead in there tracks at the sight of Ben and Rey standing there about to take a sip of champagne that Eric had just poured for them.

 

The six of them all stood frozen in place. Eric wearily looked at Rose who was watching Ben who was glaring at Finn whose eyes were locked with Rey’s.

 

Poe glanced between them all before glancing back at his husband.

 

“Well while this dramatic little showdown is taking place, I’m going to get the beer cold.” He said, gingerly taking the beers Finn was carrying from his arms and walked over to place them in the fridge.

 

Poe paused on his way over towards Eric and Rose to greet them to place a small kiss on Rey’s cheek. “Hey baby.” He said and then looked at Ben.

 

“Solo.” He addressed.

 

“Dameron.” Ben acknowledged, his eyes still glowering at the man hovering in the doorway.

 

Poe wrapped Rose up in a silent hug and gave Eric a sly low five and then remained standing next to them.

 

“I thought you said it was just going to be the four of us.” Finn finally said, addressing Rose.

 

“Um, no. I said _all_ of us.” Rose corrected.

 

“Well not anymore, we’re outta here.” Finn said. “Poe?” He said and gesturing towards the door with his eyes.

 

Poe looked at his husband and gave him a sad smile. “Come on, babe. We’re all here, let’s just get this nasty little awkward part over with so we can eat some food and watch some pre season football.” He said clapping his hands together in anticipation.

 

“Is that all you can say? Rey has willingly married this monster and all you can think about is football?”

 

“And food.” Eric chimed in, earning a little shoulder shove from Poe.

 

“He’s _not_ a monster!” Rey said sternly. “You don’t even know him.” She started towards Finn but Ben tenderly grabbed her elbow to stop her.

 

“And whose fault is that, huh? Normally, the way this works is you introduce your boyfriend to your group of friends and they either like him or talk about the dude behind his back, hoping you’ll be rid of him soon. Like we all did with Matt. But this…” Finn said gesturing towards Ben. “This is unfair.”

 

“How?” Rey asked incredulously.

 

“Because you didn’t even give us a chance to convince you. You’re just forcing us all to be okay with it.”

 

“You won’t even give _me_ a chance to prove otherwise.” Ben bellowed. “How is this any different?”

 

“Hey! Butt out, party crasher. This is between _family_.” Finn spat, motioning around the room to everyone but him.

 

“He _is_ family.” Rey said, her anger rising towards Finn with every second. “So you’d better get used to the idea.”

 

“Never.” Finn said

 

“No way.” Ben added.

 

“At least we agree on something.” Finn nodded at him sternly

 

“Is it your lack of picking up on social cues we’re in agreement on? Because you seem to be the only one in the room that has a problem with this.” Ben huffed.

 

Finn laughed sardonically. “ _My_ lack of social cues? At least I can tell when I’m not wanted. Maybe you should get a clue.”

 

“I wasn’t aware I was being that transparent.” Ben sarcastically scoffed. “You’re right, you aren’t wanted and if the dark cloud that’s settled over the room since you walked into it doesn’t prove that, I don’t know what will.”

 

“Can we just eat guys? I’m starving. Let’s put this on pause and dig in!” Eric said walking toward the table and grabbing a plate, hoping everyone would follow.

 

“I’m not breaking bread with this asshole.” Ben yelled.

 

“How about you settle for me breaking your neck, then?” Finn hollered back.

 

“We don’t have to listen to this. Rey, we’re leaving!” Ben said, his voice rose even more.

 

“Guys, football!” Poe said trying to distract them. “Come on. There’s no arguing during football!” Poe made a funny face and shook his head at his own stupid words.

 

“Can you all stop yelling, you’re ruining brunch!” Rose shouted.

 

“ENOUGH!” Rey hollered loud enough for them all too suddenly shut up. Rey sighed dramatically and gathered herself before addressing each of them and gestured towards them as she spoke.

 

“Rose, I’m sorry. Eric, if you’re hungry, by all means, start eating. Ben, no! We’re not leaving yet. Poe, just go in the other room and watch the game if it’s that important to you. Finn, outside!”

 

And with that, Rey slammed her drink with a clink on the granite countertop, turned on her heels and marched out the back door that led to the outside deck.

 

They all looked around silently at each other before each following Rey’s orders and dispersed from the kitchen except for Ben who stood there awkwardly.

 

Finn gave one last glare at Ben before following Rey outside.

 

“Hey, Solo!” Poe called out. “You watch football?”

 

Ben shrugged and nodded and joined the other two men in the TV room.

 

 

Outside, the wind had picked up. While it was still warm and humid, the sudden snap of a cooler breeze that blew in from the north had indeed promised the change of season. The leaves burned from the summer sun and had started to tinge red and yellow at the edges. Soon, they would be an effulgent range of color and would streak across the hills in the distance, making them look like a kaleidoscope of fire.

 

The sliding door clicked closed and Rey turned around to face Finn.

 

Her face was painted a mask of fury, hurt, annoyance… ready to face him and his attitude head on but when she saw his eyes, her anger faltered.

 

He was looking at her like he always did. At least up until a week ago. Like she was everything familiar and good. Like she was his insides. Like she was home.

 

Rey fixed herself and stood there with resolve. It was her turn to talk. Not his.

 

“Peanut—“ He started but she cut him off and put a hand up to silence him.

 

“No, me first!”

 

Finn shut his mouth and stared at her.

 

“I am done catering to your attitude. At first, I understood it. I get it, Finn. I completely blind sided you! I got married; I moved all in a matter of months to someone I knew you weren’t fond of.” She paused and started pacing back and forth, her hands flailing as she let out everything she had wanted to say since that night back at the bar when Poe proposed.

 

“But now I’m done. If you can’t take one look at me and just _know_ how happy I am, than maybe you and I aren’t as close as I once thought.”

 

Finn’s face looked hurt but still he said nothing and let her continue.

 

“And you’re a hypocrite!” She spat. He opened his mouth to defend himself but she cut him off again. “Yes, you! A hypocrite. You’re angry with me for excluding you from my life but _you_ yourself are guilty of doing the exact same thing. You and Poe went off on your own adventure, got married, gallivanting across Europe… Was Rose there? No. Was I present? No, I wasn’t. And that’s fine, Finn. Really, it’s fine. I _want_ you to do what makes you happy but I’m not going to lie and tell you that I wasn’t a tiny bit hurt that on one of the most important days of your life, after everything we’ve been through and shared together, I wasn’t there for it!”

 

Finn looked ashamed and sad. “Is that why you did it? You wanted to get back at me for—“

 

“Don’t flatter yourself.” She laughed sardonically at him. “You think I’d go off and get married to teach you a lesson?”

 

Finn shrugged.

 

“That’s not why I did it.” She said firmly.

 

“Then why did you?” He asked, actually seeming curious.

 

Rey knew her next statement would hurt him but he needed to hear it.

 

“Because he understands me. The way nobody else does. Not even you.”

 

Finn lowered his head even more.

 

Seeing the face of her best friend tore at her heart and she took pity on him and stepped closer. “But I still love you and need you in my life, Finn. I need my best friend. I know you don’t understand this. I do. But I _do_ need you to respect it.” He looked up at her finally. “To respect me enough to know that my decisions are my own and whether or not you agree with them, they’re still _my_ decisions.”

 

Finn nodded and sniffled a little.

 

“Oh god, please don’t start crying. You’ll be as bad as Rose.” Rey said.

 

Finn’s eye widened. “Right? She cried the entire time Poe and I told her about Europe, even the stuff that wasn’t related to the wedding. What’s up with that?”

 

Rey laughed a little “I have no idea. But I am quite jealous.”

 

“Of the crying?”

 

“No. Of her knowing all about your trip and I still haven’t heard a peep about it. About the wedding. I want to hear all about it.” Rey smiled again.

 

“I’ll tell you, Peanut. I’ll tell you everything. But first I want to say I’m—“

 

“Yes? Go on. You’re what…”

 

“I’m sorry.” Finn said finally caving and wrapping her in one of his famous bear hugs. “You’re right. You’re always right. I excluded you as much as you excluded me. I know you must have been scared to tell me.”

 

“I was. I knew you wouldn’t agree but this is right, Finn. You’ll see.”

 

Finn didn’t say anything but continued to hold her close.

 

“Now fill me in. I want to hear everything about our time apart. From the moment you left until the moment your plane touched down at JFK.”

 

He laughed. “I want to hear all about yours too.”

 

“My wedding?” She tested him humorously while her cheek rested against the curve of his shoulder.

 

“No.” He said smiling. “God, no. That sounds horrible.”

 

Rey pulled back to glare at him.

 

“But I’ll listen anyway. Because I love you.”

 

“I love you too.” She said.

 

“Let’s go eat before Rose finds us consoling each other like saps and starts with the water works again.” Finn said grabbed her hand and trying to pull her toward the slider but she resisted.

 

“Finn.” She said seriously. “I’m going to need you to make nice with him.”

 

He huffed a deep sigh.

 

“I promise you, once you get to know him, you’ll see. He’s wonderful.” Rey smiled softly.

 

“Yeah, yeah. Don’t judge a book by its cover, not everything is as it seems, look under the layers, think outside the box, love will conquer all, blah blah blah.” He said.

 

Rey laughed at his silliness but didn’t relinquish her grasp on his hand. She was serious and she meant business.

 

“He’s got a lot of proving himself to do.”

 

“He knows that.”

 

“And does he know that if he hurts you, I’m going to split his face in two?”

 

“No.” She said looking into his eyes. “But I do.”

 

He smiled at her and together they walked back into the house hand in hand, besties once again.

 

***

 

 

A few days later, upon exiting the elevator toting a bag full of expensive cheese and wine for a night her and Ben were to spend eating in front of the TV with a new season of Shameless (the American version, unfortunately) on Netflix, Rey was confronted with the sound of shouting coming from down the hallway.

 

The few sentences she heard carried around the corner and she remained stationary as one of the voices she recognized as Ben’s. The other voice was a man that matched his fury and booming vocal prowess.

 

“I don’t care _what_ she says, I’m not going.” Ben spat.

 

“Ben, you have to understand…” the other voice paused. “She wants to see you. We both do. We miss you.”

 

“Well maybe you both should have thought about that a few years ago. Before you took his side. The side of an unstable drunk and not the side of your young son’s.”

 

The older man winced but recovered quickly before speaking.

 

“We’ve made mistakes, Ben. We’ve _all_ made mistakes. Let’s just try and move past this. Before we run out of time.” The older voice was filled with regret and sadness.

 

“Come home…” He said, almost pleading, “…son.” He added awkwardly after a long moment.

 

“Please.” The man finished with a whisper.

 

There was a brief pause and she could imagine Ben slowly shaking his head, his expression masking whatever it was he was feeling at the moment. When Ben finally spoke, his voice was broken around the harsh words that exited his lips.

 

“I’m not your son anymore.” He said solemnly.

 

The sound of a door closing echoed down the hallway.

 

Rey chanced a peak around the corner.

 

An aged man in a brown leather jacket and white hair that looked like an older version of the man she knew stood on the other side of that closed door, hung his head in defeated sadness. Practiced. As if this were not the first time he had failed his mission. Woefulness and regret laced in every corner of his demeanor.

 

His fingertips brushed against the wood grain once, twice and then remained motionless as he let out of a long sigh.

 

The older gentleman tapped his fingertips against the door frame softly in a soothing manor, as if he were bidding it goodbye. Almost as if he wished he could push the touch through the door and lay his fingertips onto the cheek of the man that had stood there a moment ago.

 

Quietly admitting defeat, he lowered his hand and turned to leave but paused as if were debating on whether or not this conversation should have ended here. Maybe he should have pushed harder. Said more. Reached for him…

 

Rey could sense just how badly he wanted to.

 

His mouth worked in a familiar way before resolve overtook his frame. Straightening, the man gathered up his thoughts and started to walk toward Rey where his only means of exiting the building resided.

 

Rey, caught off guard, righted herself and walked around the corner towards her apartment. She adjusted the grocery bag in her arms as she tried to pretend that she hadn’t just been watching the heartbreaking scene unfold from behind the corner of the wall but her face betrayed her.

 

She gave the man a sad smile as they breezed by each other in the quiet hallway.

 

He didn’t even look in her direction, obviously having no idea who she actually was. He just passed her by, lost in his own sad world. As if she were a ghost except it was he who was haunting her. Having little insight into Ben’s personal life outside their time together, she was almost certain…

 

She had a pretty good idea who _he_ was.

 

When Rey heard the bing of the elevator and the whoosh of the elevator doors closing, she entered the apartment and softly closed the door behind her.

 

And there he was.

 

Ben sat motionless on the sofa, his elbows on his knees and his head in his hands.

  
She couldn’t see his face but Rey knew underneath those large hands, his broken soul was emanating from those expressive eyes of his.

 

As she placed the grocery bag on the kitchen island, he remained still and unmoving.

 

Rey quietly approached him and sat on the leather ottoman in front of him but still he didn’t move.

 

When she tenderly placed a hand on his the side of his knee, he startled slightly but did not remove his hands from his face.

 

“Ben.” She said softly. “Are you alright?”

 

Ben gave her a slight grunt of acknowledgment.

 

Rey started rubbing soothingly at the corner of his knee, using her thumb to skate across the skin of his elbow.

 

“Was that…” she paused, unsure of if he wanted her to proceed but she just _had_ to know. Had to know more about the words they had spoken, what they meant. She wanted to know more of him and his life. She wanted him to break, to console him, wanted him to seek comfort from her. She had to know that he was okay and for him to understand that she was there for him just as he had been for her these past few weeks.

 

“Was that your father?” She powered through.

 

When Ben finally lowered his hands from his face, his eyes were rimmed red and seemed vacantly glazed.

 

He picked up her hand that was still rubbing circles on his leg and sandwiched it in between his own.

 

He didn’t look at her, finding the carpet under his feet a better spot to rest his gaze.

 

“That was Han Solo.”

 

“Your father.” She pressed.

 

“I don’t have a father.” Ben said, his voice devoid of emotion.

 

Rey placed the fingertips of her free hand under his chin and forced him to look at her.

 

 _‘Time for some tough love.’_ She thought.

 

“No…” she corrected him. “ _I_ don’t have a father. You obviously have a father who loves you, he gives a damn about you.” She tried to keep her voice even and gentle. “Why do you hate him?”

 

“I don’t hate him.” He whispered.

 

She dropped her hand and placed it over the one on top of hers, layering their hands together.

 

“Then why?” She coaxed.

 

Ben sighed and leaned back against the couch and for a moment didn’t say anything.

 

“Han and I—“ He started. “My father. We haven’t spoken for a few years now. I speak with my mother from time to time but not to him.”

 

Rey waited patiently for him to continue.

 

“When I was 17, my parents were going through a rough patch.” Ben laughed a little. “Rough patch.” He scoffed. “That’s an understatement, I suppose.” Ben shook his head a bit and continued.

 

“I didn’t help matters either. I defiantly have some blame in this.”

 

Ben hung his head and looked down into his hands.

 

He looked a little lost. Helpless.

 

“I started acting out. They fought all the time and I didn’t know what else to do. My home environment was always so stressful; I never wanted to be around them. The times that I did, they didn’t seem to want to be around me. Maybe it was because they were always upset with each other. Maybe it was because they were always upset with me due to my outbursts at school, my temper always getting the best of me…”

 

Ben blinked a few times before continuing.

 

“One summer, they told me I was going to go stay with my Uncle Luke on his farm upstate. I was angry, I didn’t want to go. My Uncle is a little…” Ben paused, seeming to choose his words wisely. “…odd.” He finished. “He’s a goat milk farmer, if you can believe that. He makes cheese and candles and soaps and lotions… he’s… I guess what you’d call a ‘free spirit’.” Ben said making air quotes. “They knew. They knew he wasn’t in the right frame of mind to take care of a moody teenager but they sent me off anyway.”

 

Rey nodded. She understood very well the selfishness of parents and putting themselves before the emotional welfare of their own child. Ben’s parents, it would seem, were guilty of this just as hers had been. The difference was, they still loved their son and wanted him in their lives and to make amends. To make up for their past mistakes. Ben on the other hand, didn’t seem to be so forgiving.

 

“And then what happened?” She asked him softly.

 

Ben let out a long breath and shrugged. “I guess they didn’t realize how far off the deep end Luke was at that time. He drank. A lot. Smoked marijuana openly. He’d take peyote and go off for days into the woods to ‘get in touch with the force around him’ whatever the hell that meant. He didn’t even notice that I started stealing his liquor and smoking his weed. If he could use it as a means to escape, why couldn’t I?”

 

Rey was a little surprised but she didn’t show it and let him continue talking.

 

“Luke would be gone for days at a time. I didn’t have a car or a driver’s license so I was stuck there. Alone. Alone with my thoughts, alone with my regrets… I was always alone.” Ben looked away, forlorn and distant. “I started writing down my thoughts, having no where else to unleash them. I read a lot too. Luke had a lot of literature and I eagerly helped myself to copious amounts of it in the days I spent by myself waiting for Luke to return. I never heard from my parents and I tried to contact them, tried to tell them how far gone Luke was but they always seemed too busy to listen. Too wrapped up in their marital problems and their jobs and their own lives to bother with their angry teenage son that they wanted to be rid of to make their lives easier.” Ben said with an angry twist to his words.

 

Rey laid a hand on his knee.

 

“I’m sure that’s not true.” She insisted.

 

“It is.” He snapped with finality.

 

“If that’s true, why was he here? Why even bother trying? Why come here and seek you out and beg you to talk to him?”

 

Ben pressed his mouth into a hard line and knitted his brows together.

 

“He’s sick.” He said flatly.

 

_‘Oh.’_

 

“Is it…?” she let the word ‘cancer’ dance in the air between them, not having to even speak it for him to answer.

 

“I don’t know. He didn’t say but—“ He shook his head. “—he alluded to it. Said that it was everywhere, it was only a matter of time, that legally smoking marijuana was a blessing and that there is nothing they could do.” At this, Ben hung his head again, hiding his face from her.

 

Rey placed her hand on his cheek and picked it back up to face her.

 

“And even now, even after knowing that… you don’t want to pursue a relationship with him? Make amends?”

 

Ben’s eyes welled with emotion and he closed his eyes to bite it back.

 

He placed his hand over hers that still rested on his cheek and grasped it tightly.

 

“I don’t know how.” He whispered, leaning his forehead against hers.

 

Rey’s heart swelled and broke for this man all at once. She could sense that there was a burning ball of emotional fury that lay dormant within him. Never letting it bubble to the surface, never letting the steam out of the pot. This giant man hid behind his bigness. He used it as a shield but behind it laid everything that he had ever hidden away in the depths of his soul. Like an ocean swallowing ships in the night.

 

Well Rey was determined to raise all his ships and cast them into the waiting sun that rippled against those turbulent waves.

 

Placing her hand on his other cheek, she held his face close and whispered promises against his skin, his breath fanning across her lips.

 

“I’ll help you.” She said softly.

 

She had her eyes closed, relishing in his closeness. Ben opened his and looked at her. Her sweet, beautiful face blurred before him and he pulled back slightly to view her better. She opened her eyes as he brought her palm from his cheek to his lips and kissed it tenderly, his eyes focused on hers.

 

Once.

 

Twice.

 

They sat there staring at each other, their breath mingled and accelerated, intently focused on one another.

 

She couldn’t take it. He was so close, so warm, so beautifully broken, so _Ben._

 

“Ben...” She said his name in a whispered breath, a warning, a plea.

 

He looked into her eyes, his other arm circling around her waist to pull her towards him. He looked so lost.

 

“Ice-cream.” He said and then his lips were on hers.

 

And, _oh._

It was good. It was _so_ good.

 

It was warm and wanting and better than she remembered from the brief kiss they shared on their wedding day. A kiss that had been chaste and sweet.

 

 _This_ kiss was anything but.

 

This kiss felt like letting go, like giving in.

 

It felt like a promise.

 

At first, he took her by surprise and she made a small cry of indignation. But then…

 

Then that noise deep in her throat melted into a moan of acceptance and her hands abandoned their hold on his face and instead met each other behind his neck, pulling him closer, closer…

 

His arms wrapped completely around her, hands splaying over the expanse of her back as her fingers tangled in his hair, tugging slightly.

 

Ben moaned his approval. His hands traveled to the sides of her thighs and before she knew what was happening, he hoisted her from the ottoman and yanked her into his lap so she was straddling him.

 

Rey’s body willingly melted against his now that they could better reach each other. They were so close, their bodies pressed tightly together and his hands were everywhere, _everywhere_ all at once.

 

Squeezing her thighs, running up her sides and skirting along the sides of her breasts and then up to brush her hair from her neck before burrowing them in her hair so he could turn her head and better angle her face to slant his lips perfectly against her own.

 

And that’s when Ben used his tongue to beg entrance into her mouth. And she let him.

 

 _God_ , did she let him.

 

His tongue melded against hers and Rey whimpered, unconsciously canting her hips and grinding down against him for a bid for friction, for more….

 

 _‘Now, touch me, give me everything.’_ She wanted to beg him.

 

“Rey.” Ben moaned her name against her lips. “You feel so good. Your lips feel so good, I—“

 

“I know.” She answered. “But we…” _kiss_ “…we shouldn’t be…” _kiss_ “…we shouldn’t be doing this.”

 

“I don’t care. Don’t stop kissing me.”

 

And then she felt it.

 

His erection. Hard and hot and pulsating below her. Beckoning her to grind against it. To feel it’s length against her swollen folds. Begging to be released and warmed by her body. Her hands, her mouth…

 

Her hot center was positively dripping for this man wrapped so possessively around her, the very essence of him sneaking it’s way into her blood stream and working it’s way towards her heart like a drug.

 

Rey clenched at the thought of him hard and thick beneath her and she felt him pulse again against her.

 

Ben must have noticed the change in the air around them. Felt the kiss shift from helpless abandon to something way more complex and _needy._

Primal _._

Wrapping both arms around her lithe frame, he flipped them violently and _growled_. Rey laid there on her back, trapped against his huge body, engulfed in this angry passion he was unleashing on her. He pinned her down and took from her all that she was willing to give him.

 

His tongue was in her mouth and his hands scrambled up her shirt and roughly squeezed her breast and she cried out a moan of need, of more and he eagerly swallowed it with his mouth and thrust against her splayed legs.

 

“Fuck.” He grunted against her lips. “Fuck, Rey.”

 

“Yes.” She simply said.

 

He was unbridled passion, fury laced with animal need for the woman that writhed beneath him. His hands found themselves on the button of her jeans and he ripped at them until it busted open. Ben snaked his fingers down to the silken cloth that lay beneath them, a soft heaven that he knew awaited him.

 

 _‘Shit.’_ He thought. _Fuck_ she felt so good.

 

He fingers were so close, he could almost feel how hot she was, how _wet_ she was. He almost reached nirvana when he thought, _‘I’m going to fuck her. I’m going to fuck my wife, I’m going to—‘_

 

Ben’s eyes flew open and he yanked his hands from the waist band of her pants and before Rey knew what happened, he was on the other side of the sofa, panting and he looked...

 

Terrified. The man was utterly terrified. What had he almost done? What did he almost do?

 

Rey quickly sat up and stared at him, breathless and heavy lidded and, _oh God,_ she looked like pure sex. Her hair was mussed and her clothes were rumpled and undone and _fuck_ he wished his brain hadn’t chosen this moment to suddenly start working again.

 

He couldn’t do this to her. He couldn’t just use her like this. Fuck her and pretend like she was like everybody else. How many times had she asked him to be her partner, to protect what they had?

 

Their agreement.

 

They had an agreement.

 

And for her sake, he was going to abide by that. He had gone too far, had almost lost control, almost taken advantage of her.

 

“I’m sorry.” Ben said to her, his eyes dark and full of regret. “I’m sorry, Rey. I shouldn’t have—“

 

He paused to look at her. She looked like realization had finally hit her as well. She nodded and looked down.

 

“I thought that maybe this was—“ She bit her lip. “I thought maybe we had both needed to—“

 

“I don’t.” He lied.

 

Rey looked away, shame and hurt reddening her face.

 

Ben peeled himself off the couch to stand and stared down at her. She still couldn’t look at him.

 

“Rey, I—“ _Fuck._ He’s ruined it. He’s fucking ruined everything. “I’m sorry.” He said again. “I shouldn’t have kissed you. I shouldn’t have done any of it. I won’t let it happen again. I promise.”

 

Ben, with every fiber of his being, forced his legs to move and walked into his room and closed the door hard behind him.

 

Rey’s eyes welled with tears as she sat alone on the couch. The feeling of being cast aside, unwanted, unloved filling the void that had previously been occupied by his body on hers, his tongue, his hands… and it had felt so good. She had never felt that wanted in her entire life and how fast it had been ripped away from her. Like she was told a cruel joke at her expense.

 

Rey couldn’t help it. The tears started to spill over and ran down her cheeks, burning with humiliation.

 

She buried her face in her hands and let them fall.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woaaaaaaaaaaaah okay, long chapter, I know.
> 
> PLEASE don't murder me, I know Ben is an idiot. This won't go on forever, you all know it's leading somewhere...
> 
> And wtf is up with Rose?! She needs to put a pin in those tears, it's starting to get annoying, honestly. 
> 
> Things are just starting to come to light and heat up and it's only down hill from here, folks!
> 
> Stay with me.
> 
> And please please PLEASE let me know your thoughts in the comments below.
> 
> <3
> 
>  
> 
> KUDOS=COOL
> 
> COMMENTS=FUEL.
> 
> GIVE ME TONS OF GASOLINE TO THROW ON THIS DUMPSTER FIRE!


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Eat up before it all gets cold.” She said, sopped up a large bite of French toast and placing it in her mouth.
> 
> Ben had another bite of eggs halfway to his mouth when Rey made a noise so delicious, Ben’s actions come to a screeching halt.
> 
> Did she just… moan?

The Mirror Has Two Faces

A Reylo AU

 

The morning came with a wave of regret.

 

For so many, _many_ things.

 

For kissing her. For _stopping_ kissing her. For the words that he said. For causing that look on her face. For leaving her there, disheveled and perfect, having no idea how prurient she was to him.

 

For not finishing what he started.

 

For knowing he wasn’t even a fraction of what she deserved.

 

Curse his miserable existence!

 

But _oh_ what that kiss had done to him. So extremely and monumentally dissimilar from anything he had ever experienced before.

 

It was different. _Rey_ was different.

 

And because of that fact, Ben was absolutely positive he had done the right thing by stopping himself from taking advantage of her kindness.

 

Ben Solo, a man who prided himself on his ability to isolate himself from the world and self sooth in times of emotional distress, was so effected by her comforting words and hands and eyes and lips and—

 

‘ _Stoppit.’_ He thought as his cock started to stir in his loose sleep pants, demanding once again that he replay the most delicious moments over and over in his mind from the night prior.

 

The moment he had closed the door to his room, it took every ounce of willpower he had not to lean back against it and take himself in hand. He couldn’t stop himself from imagining the taste of her, what her eyes would look like when she fell apart. Thinking about kissing every inch of her skin, wondering what it would look like glistening with his spend.

 

‘ _God, she must taste like—‘_

 

His cock gave another little twitch and Ben flopped back on his bed with a sigh.

 

He couldn’t take it. Now that the morning had come, he knew he would have to exit his room at some point and they would have to face each other.

 

What would he say to her? What would she say to him? How _angry_ would she be?

 

At that exact moment, he heard a cupboard door close in the kitchen, the rustling of life from beyond the safe space of his bedroom.

 

What Rey must think of him now…

 

With a surge of self loathing, Ben punched the mattress and extracted himself from his bed. He felt an urge, an urge he didn’t know what do with. For the first time in months, perhaps years, Ben retrieved his brown leather bound notebook from his desk, clapped a pair of Beats over his ears, sat back down on his bed and wrote down everything; every emotional fanfare that played like a song in the drumming of his own heartbeat.

 

He wrote about his father, his mother.

 

 _Leia_.

 

About his crazy hermit uncle that probably still lived in the woods, still probably believing _that_ night was his fault.

 

He wrote about his regrets. Somehow always being too much and yet, never enough.

 

_Rey._

He wrote about Rey.

 

Turning to a clean page, Ben wrote about all the many things he wished he could change. About the things her smile did to his soul, his inability to be what he knew she needed, wishing so badly that she would want him outside of a momentary slip up because her body responded to his.

 

Ben wrote and he wrote and he wrote. He wrote until his hand cramped and the pages blurred into one another. He wrote all the things he felt, his words like a flame that licked across the pages of his notebook fanned from the fire Rey had started deep within him from the moment she walked into his lecture room, her eyes the spark that had started it all.

 

He wrote and he wrote and he wrote…

 

All the words he couldn’t say.

 

 

***

 

 

Rey cracked another egg into the bowl as bacon sizzled in the pan behind her.

 

She had woken up before the sun that morning after a fitful few hours of rest. Her thoughts not allowing her to enter the REM cycle due to her abhorrent stupidity from the night before.

 

Rey grabbed her purse and keys and flew out the door as soon as her head was off the pillow, wasting no time and walking down to the farmers market to purchase goods for the batch of ‘apology eggs’ she was to whip up for him.

 

Her way of saying ‘sorry I was slutty’.

 

 _‘Useless.’_ She thought to herself. _‘You’re bloody useless.’_

 

What good was she to her husband? She couldn’t even comfort him without giving into her hormones and practically throwing herself at him.

 

Yes, she was useless. She was supposed to be supportive and caring not seductive and sleazy.

 

_‘Maybe pathetic is a better word.’_

 

Rey closed her eyes, trying to block out the mental image she kept getting of her leaning into him, touching him, talking with a low husky voice to entice him like some cliché seductress in a bad porno.

 

What _must_ he think of her…

 

There he was, finally opening up to her about his past, about his family and what did she do? Threw herself at him like some cheap, classless trollop. No wonder he extracted himself from her arms and denied her what she so badly wanted.

 

Not that she could tell him that.

 

Though her actions had probably spoke volumes.

 

Rey opened her eyes and shrugged off the need to wince for the umpteenth time that morning and set about her goal of cooking breakfast.

 

By the time she had everything laid out on the table, the door to Ben’s bedroom finally creaked open and she paused her egg whipping as her head perked up. She turned to face him, bowl and whisk in hand as he finally emerged from his room.

 

He stilled in the doorway and their eyes locked.

 

Rey let her gaze wander down at what he was wearing.

 

Black t-shirt and loose thin gray sleeping pants.

 

_‘Great. He couldn’t look any sexier if he bloody well tried.’_

It was as if last night had emphasized everything she was already feeling for him. Instead of the metaphorical bucket of cold water his rejection should have been, it had done nothing but enhance her lust.

Rey forced herself to look down into the bowl of eggs and resumed her whipping frenzy.

 

Ben made his way into the kitchen, surveying the ridiculous amount food she had concocted.

 

French toast dusted with powdered sugar, bacon, sausage, muffins, jam, butter, fresh pineapple, syrup, fresh bread…

 

She must have been cooking for hours.

 

“I made breakfast!” She said over the loud scraping of the whisk against the metal bowl.

 

“I went to the farmers market this morning, got the good muffins and fresh farm eggs.” She said still not looking at him. “The syrup is from some farm upstate, Lyman’s Orchards or something like that. Have you ever heard of it? I’d like to go; they had pies and all sorts of amazing looking things I’d like to try.” She paused and he just started at her, something resembling amusement settling over his features.

 

“Anyways, I also got this amazing baguette that was just baked this morning. I got a little creative as well and tried something new with the French toast.” Rey added a little cream to the eggs and continued whipping.

 

“I made the batter with egg, coconut milk, cinnamon and I added cardamom for a slightly exotic flavor, I hope it’s good. I thought I’d try it out on you and if you like it, maybe I’d add it to the menu at the café. I even added a little Caribbean spiced rum to the syrup when I heated it and I thought I’d serve it with shaved toasted coconut on top.”

 

Rey paused her tirade and removed the bacon from the pan and placed it onto a plate lined with paper towels.

 

She wiped the pan clean, save for a small amount of bacon fat, let the pan heat back up a little before pouring in the raw eggs.

 

Her movements were fluid and practiced as she made her way around the kitchen, trying to ignore the fact that Ben still hadn’t said a word to her but continued to stare at her, mesmerized by the way she flitted about the kitchen, using her powers of food preparation to her advantage.

 

When he still hadn’t said anything, she began to become increasingly nervous and self conscience as he moved even closer to her. Rey began to chatter mindlessly, taking out her nervous energy on the eggs with her spatula.

 

“I hope you like scrambled eggs. I thought maybe I’d poach them but then I remembered Finn is good at that, not me. I’m bloody hopeless and usually end up breaking half of them in the water only to end up with one or two good ones and I thought ‘why waste all those eggs?’ and then I thought I’d make an omelet but I forgot to buy cheese and what’s an omelet without cheese, honestly, I—“

 

Ben’s hand closed around her wrist, stilling her movements instantly and he gently extracted the spatula from her hand, setting it down on the counter beside the pan.

 

Rey’s breath caught in her throat. She wanted to run, she wanted to cry. She choked the tears back and instead expressed verbally what she had meant to say with the eggs.

 

“I’m so sorry.” She looked up into his eyes as he towered above her. “I’m so sorry, Ben. I was a complete mental case last night and I shouldn’t have…”

 

She let the words die in her throat and looked down at his large hand still enclosed around her slight wrist.

 

“I’m sorry.” She said again.

 

“Rey.” He said low and deep.

 

When she looked back up at him, he was—

 

Was he smiling?

 

It was a closed lip smirk, at best. But that was a smile for him.

 

“You didn’t do anything wrong. If anybody should be apologizing, it’s me.” Ben’s rich brown eyes melted into her own.

 

“It wasn’t _your_ fault. You needed me in a very different way than how I gave myself to you and I should have just listened and been there for you. Instead, I—“

 

“What you did for me last night…  just you _being_ there for me was more than—“ Ben took a steadying breath. “—it was more than anybody has ever been there for me.” His voice became a whisper. “My entire life.”

 

His thumb grazed the soft skin of her wrist.

 

“It meant more to me than you’ll ever know. I should be thanking you and here you are thinking that kiss was your fault, making me breakfast—“

  
“Apology eggs.” She interrupted.

 

“What?”

 

“Apology eggs. I was making you breakfast to make up for my actions.” Her eyes swam with unshed tears.

 

“Rey…”

 

Ben grazed the knuckles of his free hand softly against her cheek before cradling it in his large palm and running his thumb across her cheek bone in a soothing manor.

 

“You did nothing wrong.” He said with an almost whisper. “I promise you. You were wonderful to me and I took advantage of that when I kissed you.”

 

Rey frowned and moved her cheek away from his hand.

 

“No, no. I kissed _you.”_

“Rey, I was there. I think I accurately remember uttering our safe word and then immediately reacting.”

 

“Well, fine. Maybe you _did_ kiss me then but it was only because you were reacting to my actions.” She said, her voice raising a bit, her brows furrowing in annoyance.

 

“You wouldn’t have been acting a certain way if I hadn’t been so pathetically forlorn to begin with.” He said, matching her tone.

 

“And maybe if I hadn’t barged in and forced you to dredge up your past, you wouldn’t have been so emotionally put out!”

 

“You live here, Rey! I _want_ you to barge in. It’s your home too!”

 

“Well fine!”

 

“Fine!”

 

Ben had slowly and unconsciously advancing on her, cornering her against the granite countertop, their chests almost pressed together and their breaths becoming labored as they continued to stare at one another.

 

Her eyes were like fire and Ben found that he was being drawn to her once again. Last night had been based on comfort and sadness but now that was being replaced with a passion that stirred within him and it _terrified_ him.

 

He was about to make the same damn mistake he made last night. A mistake that Rey would once again blame herself for and he didn’t think his arteries could withstand another meal like the one he was about to devour.

  
Even though what Ben _most_ wanted to devour was her.

 

 Ben blinked himself back to reality and backed up a few feet.

 

“Let’s just agree to disagree.” He said, looking to the kitchen floor.

 

Rey nodded in agreement and slowly moved from up against the counter top to stir at the eggs again. Before she could get to them, however, Ben picked up the spatula and mixed them about.

 

“Sit. Eat. You’ve done all this work, let me finish up.”

 

Rey breathed out her nose in defeat. Grabbing the bacon, she sat at the table and started loading up her plate.

 

Ben let the eggs cook another minute before bringing the hot pan to the table, depositing some steaming hot eggs onto Rey’s plate and then his own.

 

Once he had placed the pan back on stove, he sat down and started piling massive amounts of food on his plate.

 

They both dug in with gusto, albeit in silence.

 

“How early did you wake up this morning?” He asked, taking a bite of steaming hot eggs.

 

“It was still dark out.”

 

Ben couldn’t help but feel a little guilty that perhaps he had been the reason she hadn’t gotten much sleep.

 

“You must be tired. It was pretty late last night after we...” Ben let the words die in his mouth.

 

“I don’t sleep much anyway.” She said, breaking the awkwardness; her voice filled with a darkness that he hadn’t heard before. “I’m used to it.”

 

He nodded. He himself knew all about the perils of chasing sleep.

 

Seemed that they had yet another common trait they both shared.

 

Rey quickly changed the subject.

 

“Eat up before it all gets cold.” She said, sopped up a large bite of French toast and placing it in her mouth.

 

Ben had another bite of eggs halfway to his mouth when Rey made a noise so delicious, Ben’s actions come to a screeching halt.

 

Did she just… _moan_?

 

Looking up, Rey had her eyes closed and was chewing slowly and continued making the most wonderful sounds.

 

 _‘If only I had been the one to make her moan like that last night.’_ Ben thought, shaking his head to try and will his mind to stop going _there_ without much success.

 

 “Good?” He questioned, shoving the eggs in his mouth. He found that he was unable to look away from her face as she licked at her sticky lips.

 

“It’s just…” She swallowed. “The coconut milk gives it such a wonderfully rich flavor and the nuttiness from the cardamom makes it exotic and the spiced rum in the syrup makes it a touch boozy.”

 

She cuts another piece, soaking it in the syrup and then holding her fork out for him to take a bite, “You’ve got to try it.”

 

Ben swallowed the food that was in his mouth and slowly, so slowly, took the food she offered him off the fork as he stared at her…

 

…and she stared at his mouth as he dragged it off the fork and began to slowly chew.

 

Rey thought she had never seen anything more erotic in her entire life.

 

She cleared her throat.

 

“Well?” She asked.

 

“It’s like…” Ben chewed and thought of how to put the delicious flavors he was experiencing into words. “It’s like vacation.” He finally said.

 

“Vacation?” she said with a small giggle.

 

“Yeah, wow!” Ben said as he helped himself to a few slices and covered them in the boozy syrup and took another large bite. “Mmm.” He said chewing and closing his eyes. “I’m instantly transported to a white sandy beach with crystal blue waters and I can literally smell suntan lotion and hear steel drums.”

 

Ben smiled between bites.

 

“Might even be good with macadamia nuts on top too.” Ben added nonchalantly.

 

And that did it.

 

Ben speaking to her about food, adding in ingredients that might enhance the flavor, making ‘mmm’ noises and eating her food was the equivalent of Rey watching porn.

 

“Maybe you could serve it on an aqua colored plate and call it ‘Vacation in the French Caribbean’. “ He said laughing a little as he continued to eat and continued to make Rey cross and uncross her legs under the table due to the increasingly alarming amount of slick that had begun to pool in her underwear.

 

“Whipped cream! You could top it with whipped cream and a cherry along with the coconut and macadamia nuts and it would make it—“

 

“Ice cream! Ice cream! Please dear _God_ , stop talking about food. Stop moaning and ‘mmm’ing and chewing like that!” She shouted at him, making Ben pause as his cheeks bulged with food.

 

“Are you… are you serious right now?” He asked with a mouthful of food, astonished with disbelief.

 

“Yes!” She shouted again. Rey crossed her hands over her chest and sat back against her chair with a pout.

 

She looked so adorably put out.

 

Ben finished chewing, swollowed and wiped at his mouth with his napkin, pushing the plate away.

 

“So this… this is what turns you on?” He said looking up at her.

 

Rey turned her head away and looked up toward the ceiling, suddenly finding it extremely fasinating.

 

“So I guess it would be in poor taste for me to say that the fluffy, buttery eggs were delicious?”

 

Rey looked at him and scowled.

 

“Or that the muffins were sweet and…” he quirked an eyebrow at her. “…moist?”

 

Rey jumped up from her seat, the chair screeching loudly against the tile floor.

 

“Ben Solo, I swear to _God…”_ she said angrily as she started to clear the table.

“Maybe I should mention that the cream mixed with the pineapple, dripping with juices was extraordinarily sinful.” He smirked at her.

 

“Ben, stop.” She whispered.

 

But Ben was having too much fun teasing her to listen to the warning in her tone.

 

“Stop what? I’m just talking about how decadent everything was. I was ravenous, hungry, _starving_ and you knew just what to serve me… to _satisfy_ me.”

 

Rey whimpered, her knuckles turning white as she grasped the counter top to steady herself.

 

“I’m pretty good in the kitchen. Perhaps next time we could cook together and create something yummy… _succulent_.” He finished in his low baritone voice.

 

Rey whipped around and faced him, she was flushed and had the most ridiculous scowl on her face.

 

“You’re a monster, Ben Solo. An absolute _monster!_ ” She said, storming into the bathroom and slammed the door.

 

Ben got up and continued to clear the table, laughing to himself.

 

“Wait!” He said loudly so she could hear him in the bathroom. “I didn’t even compliment you on how well you handled the sausage!”

 

Rey let out a loud muffled “ughhhhhhhhhh” from behind the door followed by the hairdryer turning on, effectively drowning him out.

 

Ben just continued to clean up the remnants of their breakfast, a large smile on his face and a raging hard-on in his pants.

 

 

 

***

 

 

Later that day, Rey found that she had the apartment to herself. Ben had to go take care of some stuff at the university, something about a dinner meeting with Headmaster Snoke and the rest of the faculty before classes started up again next week and would be home late.

 

At a quarter to 7pm, Rey took a shower and started to get ready to retire early. She had barely gotten any sleep last night and it was her day to work tomorrow. A good night’s sleep, especially after the altercations with Ben last night and this morning, was just what she needed.

 

Rey shampooed her hair and even treated herself to a deep conditioning treatment, letting it soak into her slightly frayed ends as she took her time shaving her legs, under her arms and bikini area.

 

She longed for the cooler weather so she could wrap herself in sweaters and jeans and not have to girl it up so much.

 

Rey stepped out of the shower and towel dried her hair. She went to grab the hair dryer under the sink only to find it missing.

 

Rey thought for a moment and then remembered that Ben had taken it into his room to dry his hair in his en suite bathroom as he got ready for his meeting.

 

Rey walked out of the bathroom and padded across the apartment to Ben’s door.

 

She hesitated for a moment. She really shouldn’t go into his room without asking first. She thought about texting him but didn’t want to bother him during his work dinner.

 

Shrugging, Rey opened the door and entered the room and closed the door behind her.

 

She was immediately hit with the scent of him. His aftershave was the distinct smell of woodsy pine and leather and _man_. Rey’s mouth went dry.

 

It was too much being engulfed by his scent. Best she find the hair dryer and get out of here as quickly as possible.

 

Rey was halfway to his bathroom when she spotted it.

 

The leather bound notebook on his bedside table. The same one she had seen the day she moved in. She remembered its contents were sad and angry but had somehow called out to some deep dark part of her. How the words had enticed her and how she wanted to savor each line but was forced to stop reading once she said the authors name aloud.

 

Rey hesitated, staring at the book as if it were taunting her.

 

_‘No, Rey. Grab what you came in here to get, get out of his room and close the door behind you.’_

Rey sighed with determination and started toward the bathroom again but paused. Biting her lip, she turned around and looked at it again.

 

 _‘Fuck it. What’s mine is yours.’_ She said, somehow convincing herself that prying into his privacy was okay seeing as they were married.

 

Rey tentatively went over and sat on the edge of his bed and picked up the book, feeling its soft leather binding against her fingertips. She cracked the book open, skimming idly through the pages, randomly selecting pages to read. Some of the writings were angry and violent. Some hopeful but dark, some lonely and sad.

 

Finally, she flipped to the very last page.

 

It was different from the rest. Very different. It was full of heat and longing with hints of sex and love and yearning. Its delicious message scrawled across the page was sensually enticing, evoking a familiar heat from within her.

 

Rey held her breath as she read.

 

 

 

_A heartbeat, a breath_

_A dream within a nightmare_

_A dip of tongue, a flash of flesh_

_A flutter of lash, a parting of lips_

_My hands caressing you deep_

_My body possessing yours whole_

_My mind barred from your mind_

_My heart for the taking_

_Your skin is my skin_

_Your laugh is my laugh_

_Your mouth on my mouth, soft and wet_

_Your pleasure is also mine_

_I search for you_

_Over and over again, I find you_

_In this life, in another_

_An animal, a teacher, a colleague, an enemy_

_I feel it too_

_The connection_

_That bond_

_A balance_

_A force._

Rey hadn’t noticed that while she had been reading, her towel had come undone and she had unconsciously laid back against the pillows of Ben’s bed. She started dragging her nails back and forth across her nipple, feeling it harden.

 

She was so turned on, she couldn’t think straight.

 

Rey crept her hand lower… lower… lower…

 

Until _finally_ she touched her throbbing center.

 

She started dragging her fingers through her folds, teasing her slit as she read through the poem again.

 

It was even better the second time.

 

Rey closed her eyes and gave into temptation.

 

She started circling her clit with her fingers, inhaling the scent of Ben in the room around her, the book falling from her grasp to the floor with a thud as she started to moan his name…

 

 

***

 

 

“Rey?” Ben called out softly as he entered the front door of their apartment, gingerly closing the door behind him in case she was asleep.

 

When she didn’t answer, Ben entered further into the living room, placing his keys and briefcase on the table.

 

He removed his jacket and hung it over a chair and emptied his pockets of his wallet and phone when he heard a muffled cry coming from his bedroom.

 

“Rey?” He said again.

 

He walked towards his room and he heard it again. Followed by—

 

_“Ben…”_

Confused and concerned, Ben opened his bedroom door.

 

“Rey, why are you in my—“

 

And then Ben stopped breathing.

 

He stopped everything. He didn’t move, he didn’t blink, he couldn’t think.

 

He just stood there, eyes wide and mouth hanging open in disbelief.

 

For there Rey was. Naked. Flushed. Breathing heavily.

 

Touching herself on his bed.

 

_‘Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!’_

 

Rey was staring at him like a deer caught in headlights, mortified at being caught red handed, for lack of a better phrase.

 

“Oh my God, Ben…” She whispers as she starts to remove her hands from her aching core. Ben took an urgent step toward her, throwing his hand up with his palm towards her to stop her.

 

“Don’t.” He begged. “Don’t move.”

 

“Ben…” Rey half moaned, confused by his tone yet curious of his intensions, her cheeks red from embarrassment and from her exertions.

 

He doesn’t take his eyes off of her. She watches as his gaze moves from her face down to the swell of her breasts, her shaky breath the only sound filling the room.

 

His eyes began to follow the length of her arms to where her hand currently resided.

 

“You said you were going to be home late…”

 

“My dinner was canceled, I texted you.” He said in a clear even low tone, dripping with lust, still not taking his eyes off her.

 

Rey briefly thinks about her phone lying forgotten on the vanity in the bathroom and mentally kicks herself, her hand still trapped between her clenched thighs.

 

Rey tightens them even more when Ben finally starts to move.

 

He walks around to the foot of the bed, staring down at her. His eyes dark, his lips parted.

 

Ben’s eyes travel back up Rey’s body, raking in every exposed inch of her. His expression is hungry and _knowing_ as his eyes bore straight into hers.

 

This was it. He was done. Tonight, it was fair game.

 

“What do you want, Rey?”

 

His voice was low and even.

 

For a moment, she said nothing, her eyes never moving from his. He’s challenging her, daring her to speak. To admit something to him, to herself.

 

_‘Nothing. Everything. You… your fingers, your lips, your cock.’_

_Fuck,_ she was _so_ close before he walked in. She was almost there! Her thoughts of him and that damn poem had nearly driven her mad with want. She was so tired of dreaming of this. So tired of telling her body no every time it reacted to him. She remembered the countless times she thought about her lips traveling over his heated skin, of him sucking sharply on her achingly hard nipples, her fists in his hair screaming his name, his arms around her afterwards tucking her into his larger frame. Feeling safe, feeling wanted.

 

But this wasn’t how this was supposed to go. He wasn’t supposed to catch her touching herself to the very thought of him, asking her what she wanted. They were supposed to agree on this when they both felt they reached a point where physical intimacy was necessary lest they go out of their minds and even then, it was supposed to be ‘get in, get off, get out’. Not this much heat between them. Not with how wet she was becoming each second he stood staring at her, awaiting an answer.

 

“I want…” She half pants. “I want…”

 

“Say it.” He urges, his rough knuckles grazing up the backs of her thighs, still delightfully clenching her now positively soaked fingers.

 

She should say nothing. She should apologize, get up and go submerge herself in ice water and pretend this encounter never happened. But she’s too far gone. Ben’s hands were too close to where she needed them to be and his eyes were so intensely focused and dark, she felt that she may come from that alone.

 

Everything in the past few months had been building to this moment and she felt the change like the shift of the tide. She was tired of thinking, tired of being strong and doing the right thing, tired of playing this game of cat and mouse with him, of constantly looking but never being able to _touch._ But mostly, it was the look on his face… a look that said ‘I want you so badly’, a look that she knew mirrored her own… and it was in that moment that she finally, _finally_ gave in.

 

“I want to come.” She begged. “I want you to make me come.”

 

Ben took a step closer to the bed. His knees pressing against the mattress and his very obviously hard cock, trapped in the confines of his jeans, now pressing into the very center of her. He reached around and slid his palms up the front her thighs, slowly dragging them up until he rested them on her knees, his eyes never leaving hers.

 

“How?” He quirked an eye brow at her, cocking his head slowly to one side.

 

“What?” She asked desperate and confused.

 

She was going to kill him.

 

“How would you like me to make you come?”  He inquired again.

 

Yup! Being murdered was definitely in his future.

 

“I don’t…I don’t know. I don’t _care_! However you like.”

 

“No, Rey.” He shook his head, his thumbs massaging slow tantalizing circles on the sides of her knees. “I want you to tell me.”

 

She can’t. Rey knows what she wants but she can’t ask him to do that. It’s too selfish! How can she possibly just ask him to just kneel down and—

 

“Say it, Rey.”

 

“Put your mouth on me, Ben.” She whispered quietly, her cheeks reddening.

 

“Where would you like my mouth, exactly?” Ben asked innocently. He knows what she’s asking. He knows exactly where she wants him, but he wants to hear her. Wants to see her give in…

 

Ben’s now steel hard cock is pressed so tightly against her center, he can feel the very heat of her emanating through his jeans, soaking them. He experimentally rocks into her and Rey gasps at the contact and finally folds.

 

“Eat me.” Rey begs, her fingers starting to move a little against her clit as best she can with her thighs still clenched around them.

 

Ben chuckles a little at her words.

 

_‘Smug bastard!’_

 

“Eat you? Whatever do you mean by—“

 

“Fuck, Ben! Just shut up and put your mouth on me! I want you to fuck me, alright? I want you to fuck with your mouth!” Rey practically yells at him.

 

And just like that, Ben sinks to his knees before her, reaching down between her and the mattress, dragging her closer to him, wrenching her thighs apart and eagerly puts his mouth on her.

 

Rey throws her head back as her whole body begins to thrash with the sudden onslaught of his hot mouth now lapping at her slick folds. Ben removes one large hand from under her and presses down on her middle, holding her still, wrapping his perfect lips around her clit as Rey cries out.

 

Ben alternates between licking and sucking…back and forth…sometimes slowly and then, just when she thinks he’s purposefully torturing her, he picks up the pace and laps at her desperately, moaning into her flesh.

 

“Oh my god, Ben… Your mouth…your mouth is so…”

 

“So, what?” He asks, muffled by her. He looks up to her face as his tongue focuses on her bundle of nerves, slowing down his pace a bit. Nipping and licking, teasing her to the brink of madness.

 

“So good, Ben. Your mouth is so good!” Her fingers are grasping the sides of her head, yanking slightly on her own hair. Her eyes closed, her thighs quivering. Ben pulls back a little and blows a cool breath against her heat, fanning the fire he started yet refusing to put out just yet. He looks up and watches her as he slowly inserts a long, thick finger into her, gathering more wetness from her core before pulling out and rubbing her folds with it, mixing it with his saliva.

 

“You’re so wet, Rey.” Ben wonders aloud. “So wet for me.”

 

When Ben adds a second finger into her, Rey’s hips fly off the mattress and she keens.

 

“Ben!” she gasps.

 

 _‘Those sounds can’t be coming from me, can they?’_ She deliriously wonders.

 

Ben starts to fuck into her with his fingers, in… and out. Rey’s whole body trembles as he curves his fingers just so and hits a spot deep inside that Rey has never felt before. Her eyes fly open and she watches as her hips chase the feeling.

 

“Beautiful.” He whispers, placing a chaste kiss to her inner thigh.

 

She blushes at his endearment and watches as he puts his lips to her skin over and over, kissing her hip bone, her side, her stomach, pausing a moment to lave at her belly button before placing slow wet kisses to her ribs and finally her breasts; fucking into her with his fingers again and again.

 

Ben lets the tip of his tongue tease her right nipple, feeling it pebble immediately before closing his mouth over it and sucks. Hard.

 

Rey arches into his mouth, her hands flying to his hair, pulling lightly. Her nails raking softly against his scalp.

 

Ben adds another finger.

 

“I’m close. I’m close, Ben. I’m gonna—“

 

Suddenly he stops and pulls his hand away from her.

 

“No! Why did you stop?” she begs, her walls clenching desperately for friction around the ghost of his fingers.

 

“Because. You’re not going to come in my hand.” Ben says against her breast.

 

“What?! Why!” She demands. Rey’s fingers tighten in Ben’s hair, wrenching his lips off her nipple and forcing him to look at her.

 

“Because I specifically remember you asking so nicely for me to make you come with my mouth.” He teased. “I intend to make good on that.”

 

Ben crawled up her body so he’s flush against her side. He moves her hair away and starts to suck feverishly at her neck, sucking enough to leave a bruise and a sigh escaped Rey’s lips. He kisses his way up to her ear, pulling her soft lobe between his lips for a moment before placing hot wet kisses to her jaw and the corner of her mouth. Ben’s hand starts to play with the nipple of her other breast, pinching and pulling lightly in attempts to make up for ignoring it previously.

 

Rey arched into his touch, her eyes closing, enjoying being touched so incredibly much by this man that she’s married that continues to surprise her at every turn. Right now being one of the biggest surprises yet.

 

She didn’t know she could ever be so turned on and so annoyed by one person at the same time. It made her head spin and she throbbed thinking about how infuriatingly turned on she was for him.

 

He kisses her lips softly.

 

“I want you to come in my mouth.” He says against her lips. “I want to know the taste of you and the feel of you. I want to hear my name pouring from your lips as you come.”

 

Rey opened her eyes and stared into him, her breathing uneven, his breath picking up now too at the anticipation of her reaching her climax.

 

“Then what are you waiting for?” Rey says with a smirk.

 

He delivers one last chaste kiss to her lips and before she knows it, he’s crawling back down her body, laying kisses everywhere as he goes, and finally settling back between her legs. Ben parts them wide, displaying her pretty pink folds to him. Taking one last look up at her, his eyes meeting hers, he dives in full force against her clit. He alternates between licking and sucking and adding a little more pressure every time she moans. Ben’s large hands are holding Rey open to him, his wide palms splayed on her inner thighs, forcing her open as wide as she will go.

 

Rey can feel heat pooling in her abdomen, her hips canting up to meet his mouth. Ben laps down her slit to dart his hot tongue deep into her, making her cry out, her orgasm just out of reach.

 

He removes his tongue and replaces it with two large fingers, sliding easily into her but still, she won’t crest. He can feel her hesitation, could practically hear her thoughts getting in her own way.

 

“You’re still holding on.” Ben says to her softly. “Let go. Come for me.”

 

And when Ben’s mouth wraps once more around her clit, his fingers fucking in and out of her, she does. She comes on his tongue and down his fingers. She comes in waves, her hands flying to his hair, his name falling from her lips as if singing a beautiful hymn.

 

“Ben! Ben! Ben!”

 

She comes so hard, her thighs close hard against his ears in attempt to stop him or perhaps urge him on, Rey isn’t sure.

 

She comes, bucking into his face at one last ditch effort for stimulation to ride out her aftershocks, a tear silently slipping down her face and into her hair, a small breathy laugh escaping her lips.

 

Rey lets her legs loll to the side. She’s panting so hard that her throat feels dry.

 

Ben kisses her thigh before he lets his head rest against it, rubbing soothing circles on her hips as she comes down from her high and her afterglow sets in.

 

“Good girl.” He tells her, kissing her thigh intimately slow a few more times. “Good girl.”

 

“I’ve never… I’ve never been so turned on in my entire life.” She mumbles, laughing slightly at her omission. Ben smiles against her skin and nips her with his teeth affectionately before standing.

 

She’s so deliriously blissed out, she’s vaguely aware of him covering her naked form with a blanket before leaving the room to fetch them some water.

 

When he returns, Rey is fast asleep.

 

Ben takes in her flushed skin and the smile that still remains on her lips, feeling his still hard dick pulse uncomfortably in its clothed prison at the thought of what just happened.

 

Oh, how he wanted to wake her back up and finish ravishing her. Wipe the smile off her face by placing his cock between her lips. Hearing her cry out as he filled her with it. And normally, he would. In the past, he would have woken whoever was in his bed, flipped them over, slammed into them from behind and fucked them senseless.

 

But this was Rey and they were married and they had an agreement.

 

_‘Only when the need arose.’_

 

Well the need had definitely risen for him but for some god forsaken reason, he didn’t want to just fuck her senseless. He didn’t want to take her from behind and extract as many swears from her as he could before pulling out and coming on her ass like he normally would have wanted. Instead, he pictured her in his lap. Her eyes focused on his as she slowly lowered herself onto his length and rode him, his hand in her hair, arms wrapped tightly around her as she uses his shoulders for leverage and rides him until they both come.

 

Normally he would have never gone down on a woman without the promise of sex to follow. Yet here he was, his face sticky with her juices, savoring her taste and instead of finishing, he was covering her with a blanket, kissing her on the forehead and returning to the living room, shutting the door quietly behind him.

 

Ben could not for the life of him understand what was going on in his head. Perhaps it was because he cared more about Rey because of what they shared, because of their arrangement. He respected her and knew her on a more personal level than he ever had a woman he took to bed. Ben was always afraid it might lead somewhere he didn’t want it to go. But in this case, how could it? They had already gone as far as a relationship _could_ go. They were married!

 

Ben knew it wasn’t like a regular marriage, of course. This was a marriage of convenience, strictly business.

 

So if this was something they had agreed to let happen when one or both of them needed to take care of an urge, why _shouldn’t_ he go back in there and have his way with her?

 

Ben took half a step toward the door before stopping dead in his tracks.

 

 _‘I don’t sleep much.’_ She had told him that very morning. A trait that they both seemed to share. He knew how good it felt when sleep finally found him.  He wasn’t about to selfishly wake her up so he could get his rocks off.

 

Ben grabbed a beer out of the fridge, sat down on the couch with a sigh and took a large swig of his beverage.

 

This wasn’t normal behavior for him. He would have never left a woman he had just given oral sex to lay asleep in his bed as he unzipped his pants in the other room and took himself in hand.

 

He would have never tightened his grip around himself as he thought about her and the noises she had made as she came, reciting his name over and over again like poetry.

 

He would have never moaned the name of a woman as he came when said woman was 15 feet away from where he sat so she could _sleep_ for Christ’s sake!

 

This was maddening, what was wrong with him?!

 

 _‘Maybe it’s because tomorrow is another day and you know that she’ll still be here in the morning. She’ll still be home for dinner tomorrow night after work and still wake up and have breakfast with you after that. Maybe it’s because you know this is forever and you know you have time to do this right.’_ Ben’s inner voice taunted him.

 

Ben shook that thought from his head.

 

Cleaning himself off and tucking himself back into his pants, he drained the rest of his beer, turned on the TV and let her sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for the delay in update. I had family in from out of town for the holiday, I hosted both xmas eve with 12 ppl and xmas day with 16! The first thing I did when my guests left was to start typing away.
> 
> First things first, I want to thank the amazing @gypsyrenovski for the incredible mood board that she caligraphed for me in the title. It is utterly amazing and I cannot thank her enough! You can find it here:
> 
>  
>
>> Chapter 13 is now live!  
>  Thank you SO much to [@gypsyrenovski](https://twitter.com/gypsyrenovski?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw) for this beautifully amazing, personally calligraphed moodboard. I am blown away ❤️❤️❤️<https://t.co/ZHcuWl3dX8> [pic.twitter.com/QCtCytDUCV](https://t.co/QCtCytDUCV)
>> 
>> — TheLadyReylo (@LadyBayba) [January 2, 2019](https://twitter.com/LadyBayba/status/1080346260618559488?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw)
> 
> Second, I hope it wasn’t too corny as I am the inexperienced poet that birthed Ben's poem. I did not want to steal anybody else's work so I wrote the poem myself. I've written a few Reylo-esque poems in the past and this was one of them. I felt it fit into the story so I revised it a bit and added it in. Please be kind. (I am not a huge fan of poetry that rhymes as you can tell).
> 
> I hope this satisfies some of ya'll dirties. I know it's been a slow slowwwwwwwwww burn and I also want to apologize for the length of this chapter.
> 
> Good news folks, it can only get dirtier from here. **insert evil grin here**
> 
> Please, please, PLEASE let me know what you guys think. It makes me want to write more with every comment you post. 
> 
> If not, kudos are amazing too bccccccccccccccccccccc
> 
> KUDOS ARE COOL
> 
> BUT
> 
> COMMENTS ARE FUEL!!!!!!!!!!
> 
> Love to all, happy holidays, happy New Year and happy year of Reylo. 
> 
> 2K19 is our year, I feel it in my fingers...I feel it in my toes. <3


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “What’s so funny?” She asked a little louder than she intended.
> 
> Ben sobered slightly as he took in her disgruntled features.
> 
> “Oh, you know—I just can’t help but thinking I…“
> 
> “You what?” 
> 
> He stayed silent for a moment before addressing her with a smirk.
> 
> “That before last night, the only time you’ve been able to have an orgasm has been solo until…”
> 
> Rey’s eyes narrowed at him.
> 
> “Don’t. You. Dare.” She warned.

The Mirror Has Two Faces

A Reylo AU

 

Rey’s eyes cracked open. The first thing she felt was something she hadn’t felt in a very long time.

 

Well rested.

 

The second thing she felt was… naked. She was naked. And in a bed that wasn’t her own.

 

Rey sat bolt upright and took in her surroundings and then she remembered.

 

The hairdryer… the book… the poem… touching herself… Ben walking in while she lay in _his_ bed touching herself… Ben offering her his services… his mouth… his perfect fucking mouth between her legs…

 

It was something Rey had never really— something Rey had _never_ even thought possible.

 

She had come. Hard.

 

Just the thought of his talented mouth and the words he used, making her feel worshiped and wanted and _filthy._ Rey had never in her life experienced anything like that.

 

Not to mention the intensity of the orgasm she had at his hand. That had completely taken her by surprise.

 

The most a man had ever done down there had been more of a fumbling excuse for oral sex that lasted mere minutes and ended when she took pity on the guy (after they became frustrated that it didn’t happen in 2 minutes like it did in a porno) so she had suggested that they just skip it and move right on to the main event.

 

Usually that event wasn’t memorable either. Just a quick few snaps of their hips and it would be over without giving Rey and her needs a second thought.

 

To be fair, the very few lovers she’s had, had been about her age and just as inexperienced as she, but last night had been… last night had taken all her thoughts and knowledge of what oral sex was and transformed them into something that vaguely resembled what ascending to heaven must be like.

 

Rey knew without a doubt that she would _never_ again settle for anything less and she couldn’t help but think that maybe, just _maybe,_ Ben had ruined her for anybody else in that department.

 

Rey felt her body become warm and she felt the trickle of desire settle between her thighs once more and just as soon as she started to wonder where Ben and his magic mouth were, horror began to creep its way over her as realization hit her.

 

 _‘Oh my god.’_ Rey thought as she pinched her eyes shut in embarrassment.

 

Did she really do what she thought she’d done?

 

Yes. She really had.

 

Rey had taken pleasure from him and then must have passed out seeing as she had no further memories of last night past the feeling of being completely and utterly sated. And seeing as the mattress next to her still looked undisturbed, he must have also slept elsewhere.

 

What was the sexual equivalent of an Irish goodbye?

Rey hung her head and scolded herself, throwing the covers off of her (when had she pulled them over her?), picked his robe up off the floor and made to dash out the door to make this right. To make this fair and square. Rey wasn’t sure what she was going to do but she was determined to give as good as she got.

 

It was only fair, right? This was supposed to be a mutual thing and not just be all about her.

 

Just as she was about to open the door, something sticking out halfway from under the bed caught her eye.

 

The notebook. The notebook she had taken off his nightstand and helped herself to (and had gotten off to) lay half open on the floor. Rey quickly ducked down and retrieved it, settling it back on his nightstand in its rightful place.

 

At least she didn’t have to explain _that_ right now.

 

Getting back to the task at hand, Rey wrenched the door open, determination leading her every step.

 

“Ben?” She called, marching in the living room and turning in every direction, hoping to catch his broad form lumbering from somewhere within the apartment.

 

“Ben!” She called again and was still met with only silence. Great.

 

Rey went into the kitchen and poured herself a glass of water, slumping into one of the kitchen chairs. With a sigh, she rested her arms on the table and laid her head on top of them.

 

An ugly anxious feeling started to flood her stomach. What if she somehow made a huge mistake? She already crossed so many lined… lines that she herself drew. Maybe she had somehow trapped him into feeling like he had to get her off just to get her out of his bloody room so he could sleep. Maybe he regretted what happened.

 

That terrifying thought made Rey raise her head off her arms and instead, laid it back down to rest her cheek against the cold wood of the table, hoping it would somehow cool her heated cheeks as embarrassment and self doubt edged their way into her thoughts.

 

 _‘Get your shit together, Rey. Today is not about you.’_ She mentally told herself.

  
Today was Saturday. And even thought classes had started up again, (meaning that a lot of time was meant to be spent at the university to prepare for lectures and syllabuses and the semester ahead), she and Ben had taken today off.

 

Today on this crisp autumn day, Finn and Poe were having a celebratory “we got married” party at their place and they were both expected to attend. Ben had just gotten through telling her how much time he was going to have to spend doing extra side projects under the instruction of headmaster Snoke and how he was going to be home late the next few weeks and probably had to work every Saturday until Christmas, when the invite came in the mail.

 

Ben had taken one look at the invitation and assured her that he would be there. As usual, Ben played the part of the doting husband so well; she often thought that she was doing some lucky woman a disservice by keeping him in this arrangement because he would truly make an incredible husband. And Ben deserved to have a caring, sexually woken wife that provided him with full meals, breakfast lunch and dinner not to mention copious amounts blowjobs and sex.

 

Rey once again started thinking about her earlier intention of coming out here to find him, rip the pants from his body and—well she wasn’t sure exactly what she was going to do but at the very least, even the playing field.  She started to replay last night in her head when the sound of the front door opening brought her back to the here and now.

 

Ben walked into the room, throwing his keys on the kitchen island, a receipt between his lips and fresh dry cleaning slung over his shoulder.

 

Rey’s breathing hitched in her throat at his presence and she straightened. She tried to ignore the overwhelming relief that washed over her at the fact that he had returned… which was silly, she knew.

 

Why had she thought he wouldn’t?

 

Ben stopped in his tracks when he saw her, his eye brows raised.

 

“Rey.” He said softly, removing the receipt and placing it on the counter next to his keys. “You’re up.” He sounded surprised.

 

“I’m—“ Rey started and stopped. Standing up out of her chair, Rey took a step in his direction without much thought as to why her legs were carrying her towards him. She abruptly stopped after another half step. “I am.” She said; her eyes still locked with his.

 

Ben flung his dry cleaning on the island and they continued to stare at each other. His eyes were dark and there was something in them that Rey couldn’t place. His hands were at his side but seemed to twitch in anticipation. For what, Rey wasn’t sure.

 

“Ben, last night, I— I’m sorry. I don’t know _what_ I was thinking. I had no right to go into your room and I swear I was only looking for the hairdryer since you _insist_ on never putting it back and I don’t know—I just got carried away with the smell of you and—and—and—I’ve felt really off lately and I thought that—“

 

Ben took a few giant steps towards her and placed his hands comfortingly on her shoulders, rubbing soothingly.

 

“Shhh, it’s okay. Easy, Rey.”

 

She took a deep breath in and out and nodded looking down at the floor between them.

 

“Walking in on you in my bed was the hottest thing I have ever experienced in my entire life.” He admitted honestly. “Please don’t be sorry.”

 

Rey heard the words he said but all she could stare at was his shoes, suddenly finding them extremely interesting. She never noticed just how big his feet were.

 

“Bloody hell, you’ve got ginormous feet.” Rey commented absentmindedly.

 

“How are _you_ feeling today?” He asked, ignoring her comment. When she didn’t answer, he tried again. “Are you—do you regret last night?”

 

Rey still said nothing and continued to look down.

 

“Seriously, how do you even find shoes to fit you?” She said, deflecting again.

 

“Rey.”

 

“No really, Ben, are you related to Big Foot? How are having feet that big humanly possible?”

 

He smirked at her but did not lose focus.

 

“Rey.” Ben said in bolder voice, her eyes finally snapping up to his.

 

“Do you regret it?” He asked again.

 

Rey’s eyes wandered down to Ben’s lips as he awaited an actual answer. Her thoughts immediately took a nosedive into the gutter and suddenly she had the very overwhelming need to drop her— _his_ robe, place one foot on a kitchen chair and shove his perfect mouth back toward her aching core and demand an encore performance of last night.

 

Did she regret it?

 

“No.” She breathed. “No, I don’t regret it. It was…”

 

“Amazing.” He finished.

 

“Yes.”

 

“This doesn’t have to be weird, Rey. I know we have some rules we’re trying to follow but maybe we shouldn’t be so worked up over this and just… go with the flow.”

 

Rey smiled as his hands drifted down her arms and came to hold her waist lightly.

 

“We can’t just go with the flow, Ben. We can’t just go about this willy nilly. I know last night was—“

 

“Amazing.” He said again matter-of-factly.

 

“Unplanned,” She corrected him. “And I realize that it was entirely my fault. I crossed several lines and if I regret anything, it’s that. Next time, _if_ it happens again, we will discuss it first.”

 

“Okay.” He said with resolve and perhaps a little bit of determination. “Should we discuss... this?”

 

Ben slowly moved his hand away from her waste. What he did next had Rey head spinning and she closed her eyes to try and gain control over her senses without much success.

 

Ever so slowly, Ben moved the material of her robe away from her shoulder. He bent his head and his warm breath tingled across her skin as he lightly brushed his soft lips across her clavicle before giving it a searing, open mouth kiss.

 

Rey’s breathing was labored and heavy. Just the sensation of his hands on her, the proximity of his body to hers was setting her off. Her nerve endings felt heightened and alive as he kissed the juncture of her throat.

 

“Hmm?” He murmured trying to coax her into giving a response.

 

Rey opened her mouth to speak but instead, a soft moan escaped her as his lips made their way up the side of her neck. Ben placed his other hand on the small of her back and drew her flush against him, bending them slightly as she arched to allow for his towering frame.

 

“Ben.” She whispered as he continued to lick and kiss his way up toward her jaw.

 

She was so incredibly turned on. Her hand came to hold at the nape of his neck, urging him silently to proceed. Her other arm wrapped around his back and fisted itself in the material of his shirt.

 

“Talk to me, Rey.” Ben said against her skin, his lips now lightly sucking at her jaw line. “Tell me.”

 

“Wha—” She answered in a breathless moan. “Tell you what?”

 

“Anything.” His voice was low and dripping with heat. “Tell me anything.”

 

“Umm,” Rey thought, extremely distracted as his lips found the column of her throat and he pushed her body against his with more force.

 

Through the bulky material of the robe, Rey couldn’t miss the hard outline of something pressing very urgently into her belly and that’s when his hand found the perfect curve of her ass and _squeezed_.

 

‘Fuck—Rey.” He groaned against her.

 

Rey still couldn’t think of what to tell him, how to ‘dirty talk’ which is what she assumed he wanted. So, much to her horror, she said the first thing that came to her mind.

 

“Alternating current is deadlier than direct current.”

 

Ben paused and smiled against her skin. “What, now?”

 

“You said tell you anything.” She said breathing hard, her eyes still closed and her fingers working themselves into the glorious softness of his dark locks.

 

Ben huffed a laugh, his warm breath cascading down her skin. “I meant about last night, miss-can’t-take-a-hint-if-her-orgasm-depended on it.”

 

Rey was about to applaud him for his perfectly devised epithet but instead she visibly shuttered as his hand dipped down to untie the sash at her waist letting the robe fall open.

 

Much to Ben’s surprise and delight, Rey was naked underneath and he couldn’t even attempt to hide the heat, the very naked _want_ that emanated from his rich brown eyes.

 

Ben looked down and greedily raked his eyes over every inch of her, taking her all in. He couldn’t help but encircle his hands at her slight waist, stroking the skin of her taut stomach with his wide thumbs.

 

Ben looked back up at her.

 

“Tell me about last night… tell me how it felt to come all over my tongue. Let’s… _discuss_ it.” He said, his lips grazing her temple.

 

“Last night was—” she stopped. How could she tell him? How could she admit this?

 

He encouraged her to finish by putting his wide palm against her cheek, his long fingers embedding into her hair.

 

Ben kissed her other cheek, feather light and soft.

 

“Last night, I—“ She started again and stopped once more.

 

Ben kissed the corner of her eye and then finally hovered above her lips, waiting… _waiting._

Finally, Rey let her resolve drop as he pulled her tightly to him, the warmth of his skin radiating through his clothes and seeping into her flushed skin.

 

“Last night was a revelation. Last night was the hardest I have ever come in my entire life and I—”

 

Ben’s mouth swallowed the last of her sentence. His kiss was passion and demanding and hungry and Rey was lost in it.

 

She didn’t even notice when he had backed her up against the table until he was laying her across it, kissing her chin, her neck, her sternum.

 

“I thought about it all night, Rey. I couldn’t stop thinking about how hot your cunt was against my tongue. You were so goddamn wet. Let’s see if this morning is any different.”

 

To emphasize this, Ben reached down and cupped her, letting his middle finger dip between her folds.

 

Rey squirmed, a bit taken aback by the dirty talk. She wasn’t quite used to this as all her sexual encounters were very vanilla in comparison and had always been rather _quiet_.

 

 _This…_ this was something else.

 

And Rey, she couldn’t quite figure out how someone like her was bold enough to push against his head to encourage him lower. To put those lips back where they belonged.

 

“Greedy girl.” Ben said as he lapped against her belly button, biting the skin beneath it for good measure.

 

“Ben, _please_.” She moaned as he knelt down, his breath cool against her dripping heat.

 

“Mind if I have another taste?” He politely asked, looking up to her for permission.

 

It looked like he was waiting to dig into his favorite meal, licking his lips in preparation for the feast and if Ben Solo didn’t press his goddamn lips to her flesh right now, Rey was going to die.

 

She arched toward him and leaned her head back in anticipation of his touch. She threw all caution to the wind. Screw rules, screw lines and boundaries.

 

Just as she was about to nod her compliance, the worst thing in the world happened.

 

The doorbell rang.

 

Rey propped herself up on her elbows and Ben stood from between her legs, dazed and looking toward the door as the bell still echoed in the air. Quickly, he helped Rey to stand.

 

The doorbell rang again and Rey and Ben fluttered about righting their clothes as he tucking himself firmly into his pants to hide evidence of his arousal while Rey tied her robe back together.

 

Ben looked at Rey for a signal that she had reassembled herself enough to be presentable. When Rey gave him a nod, Ben walked toward the door and annoyingly wrenched it open.

 

“About time! Your hallway is freezing.” Rose said as she entered into their apartment without waiting to be ushered in.

 

“You’re not ready.” She said as soon as she saw Rey. “Ben’s ready but you’re not ready. Why aren’t you ready?”

 

“What time is it?” Rey asked.

 

“It’s 11:15 am on the nose.” Rose said looking at her like she didn’t quite know her best friend. “Are you alright? You’re always perfectly on time, if not pathetically early. You’re not even showered yet!”

 

It was right at that moment that she actually stopped to take in Ben’s attire. He was dressed in a pair of nice dark denim jeans with a black button down that was pressed… save for the spot where she took a handful of his shirt in her fist moments ago, crinkling his finely starched shirt.

 

Rey smacked her hand to her forehead. “Oh my god, I completely lost track of time.” She said, running towards her room, grabbing the dress from behind her door and running towards the bathroom. “Give me 15 minutes!”

 

“Rey, we’re gonna be—“

 

“15 minutes! You can time me!”

 

 

 

 

***

 

 

 Twenty five minutes later, Rey and Ben climbed into the back seat of Rose’s car. Eric was in the driver’s seat waiting for them when Rose clamored in and shut the door with an exasperated sigh. “Lets go.” She said to Eric before turning around in her seat to face them. “Finally!”

 

“What the hell took you guys so long?” Eric asked as he pulled out onto the street.

 

“I’m sorry, Rose. I don’t know what I was thinking. I didn’t realize how late it was.”

 

“What were you doing that had you so distracted anyway?” Rose pondered from the front as she stared at some sort of social media on her iPhone.

 

Ben and Rey looked at each other awkwardly and then both nonchalantly looked out their respective windows, Ben clearing his throat as if to clear away the tension that was now present in the small vehicle.

 

Eric glanced at the two of them in his rear view mirror knowingly as Rose turned once again to give them a raised eye brow.

 

“Newlyweds.” Eric said as he accelerated onto the highway.

 

 

 

***

 

 

The party was in full swing when the foursome entered the house. Their arrival had immediately caught Finn’s eye as and he cease conversation with a woman Rey recognized from Finn and Poe’s board game club and bee-lined toward them instead, graciously taking their coats.

 

“Finally! I thought you guys would be the first one’s here.” He commented.

 

“We would have been if these two lovebirds hadn’t decided that the new definition of ‘getting ready’ is ‘heavy petting’.”

 

Finn glanced towards Ben, obviously trying to hide his sneer. Rey, picking up on his distaste and grateful for the fact that her best friend was trying to behave towards her husband on her behalf, gave him a quick peck on the cheek in greeting.

 

“Where’s Poe?” Rey asked.

 

“He’s around here somewhere probably charming the pants off his mother’s friends. You know how they all _love_ him.” Finn answered with a slight roll of his eyes.

 

“For someone who flirts with women so much, you would think he would have married one.” Rose humorously chided with a giggle.

 

“Didn’t he?” Eric joked, playing off his wife’s comment without effort.

 

“Hey!” Finn bellowed with mock offence. “I resemble that remark.”

 

Finn smiled and went to place the jackets in the guestroom.

 

They all laughed save for Ben who looked as though he wasn’t sure if he had yet reached the point with the group where laughing at a potential inside joke was appropriate.

 

“He’s a big crier and he throws like a girl.” Rey said, sensing his confusion.

 

“And he looks fucking great in a dress!” Eric one-lined again.

 

“Eric!” Rose said, smacking her husband on the shoulder. “Come on.”

 

“You’re right. He looks terrible.” Eric corrected his previous statement.

 

“Oh my god that was _one_ time at Halloween three years ago and it was because you dared him!” Rey defended.

 

Eric let out a bellow of a laugh and smacked his thigh to emphasize his humor. “Yeah, I did.”

 

“And he didn’t look that bad.” Rey said, defending her friend.

 

Eric shrugged as Rose yanked him away towards the buffet table mumbling something about wasting away while they all sat there reminiscing like it was a high school reunion.

 

Once on their own, Ben looked down at Rey who slowly lifted her gaze towards him. It was obvious that she was attempting to play coy but it was nearly impossible to hide from him when he looked at her like that.

 

“So.” Ben said with a lift of his shoulders attempting to break whatever awkwardness and tension still lingered between them.

 

“So…” Rey answered, ducking her head.

 

They both looked down at their feet.

 

“Food?” Rey suggested.

 

Ben looked back up at her and smiled.

 

She was always thinking with her stomach.

 

“Food.” Ben agreed and they both made their way over to the long table against the farthest wall that was filled with a delicious variety of salads, pastas and meats.

 

Rey grabbed herself a plate and handed one to Ben as she started ladling copious amounts of some kind of cheesy looking pasta onto her plate.

 

She put the spoon down and moved on to the next item on the table as Ben started to pile his own plate with salad and grilled salmon.

 

“I hope this morning wasn’t…”

 

Ben paused a moment to try and think what he wanted to say but before he could get the words out, Rey seemed to understand his intention and she turned to look at him earnestly, her eyes soft.

 

“It wasn’t.”

 

Ben blew out a slow breath in relief.

 

“Good.” Ben dipped his head and smiled to himself. “Good, good.”

 

They made their way outside to seat themselves at the round top tables that were set out on the lawn.

 

It wasn’t a formal affair but Poe being Poe made sure there was seating for everyone and Finn being Finn made sure that it all looked like the party was designed straight out of a Pottery Barn catalog. There were wooden rounds with rustic gold lanterns with a small gathering of bittersweets in small vases adorning each high top table sprinkled about the yard. White twinkle lights hung from the trees that swept overhead making the small backyard look positively paradisal.

 

Rey smiled to herself imagining the hours Finn must have spent on Pinterest, making sure his vision came for fruition.

 

 

Rey casually nodded to other guests as they walked by or when they made eye contact with her as her cheeks bulged with food.

 

 _‘I guess orgasms had a way of making you hungry.’_ Rey thought, once again smiling to herself.

 

Why was she smiling so much?

 

“The place looks nice. Poe and Finn must throw some swanky parties.” Ben said between bites.

 

“Mmm.” Rey agreed swallowing a mouthful of food. “And usually just as posh. Finn is always finding a way to make his tablescapes fit the theme of the party whether it be Mexican night or 4th of July.” Rey motioned around with her fork as she took bites of her buttered roll. “You’ll have to come to one. It’s a good time.”

 

Ben wiped at this mouth with his napkin, pushing his plate away. His eyes glancing up to look at her as she eyed the fairly lights above their heads, a small smile playing at her lips.

 

Why did he always have to find her so damn charming?

 

Ben took in her long neck and the lace that dusted along her neckline. Her black satin dress clung to her form just so and Ben couldn’t resist the urge to reach out and touch her in some way.

 

Every moment spent in her presence without touching her was like agonizing torture. So much so that he found his hand creeping along the tabletop to rest atop hers, making her eyes fall on his face; her brows rising up in surprise.

 

 

“I can think of other ways to have a good time with you.”

 

 

Rey’s skin flushed pink and her lips parted slightly before she righted herself.

 

 

“Ben.” Rey whispered in warning… in wonderment.

 

 

“You don’t agree?” He asked, not giving her a moment to think.

 

  
“Wha—I don’t know what you mean.”

 

 

“Sure you do.” Ben’s thumb started to graze the soft skin of her wrist making Rey tingle as gooseflesh broke out along her skin. She didn’t say anything but continued to stare at where their skin touched.

 

“I want to make you come with my mouth again.”

 

Rey’s eyes snapped up to meet his and she let out a small breath she wasn’t aware she was holding.

 

She nervously looked around at the other guests as if they could hear their hushed conversation before returning her gaze to him.

 

“Later.” She whispered, still flushed a lovely shade of red. “We can talk about this later.” Rey snatched her hand away and placed it in her lap. She picked her fork back up and moved her food about her plate, suddenly having lost her appetite…

 

For food, anyway…

 

Ben continued to stare at her as she finally had enough of reorganizing her plate and took a large bite of pasta.

 

“Was it really the first time?”

 

“Was what the first time?” She asked confused.

 

His lips twitched at the corners before he spoke.

 

“That someone else made you come.”

 

Rey’s eyes widened and she licked her lips suddenly finding them very dry.

 

Ben watched her little tongue dart out of her perfect mouth, obviously deliciously flustered by his question.

 

Rey blinked and turned her face away from him when she answered.

  
“Yes.” She looked back at him. “It was. You know it was.”

 

Ben’s heart surged with pride as he straightened himself and crossed his arms over his chest, a smile plastered across his pale handsome face.

 

Rey glared at him and Ben—

 

—giggled.

 

The hulking tree of a man before her _actually_ giggled.

 

“What’s so funny?” She asked a little louder than she intended.

 

Ben sobered slightly as he took in her disgruntled features.

 

“Oh, you know—I just can’t help but thinking I…“

 

“You what?”

 

He stayed silent for a moment before addressing her with a smirk.

 

“That before last night, the only time you’ve been able to have an orgasm has been solo until…”

 

Rey’s eyes narrowed at him.

 

“Don’t. You. Dare.” She warned.

 

Ben nodded and let a small silence stretch between them. When Rey was certain he wasn’t going to finish his sentence, she finally took the last two bites of her meal.

 

“Ben Solo.” He punned as if he couldn’t wait any longer to say it.

 

She stared at him flabbergasted for a moment, trying and failing miserably to hide the smile that played at her lips before finally picking up her plate and storming away from the table.

 

Ben watched her go, still unable to wipe the stupid smile off his face.

 

“Worth it.” He whispered to himself. Picking up his own plate, he went to go mingle and grab himself a drink and attempt to join the party.

 

 

***

  
When Ben finally found Rey half an hour later, she was chatting with Rose and Eric around the kitchen island. Rey had helped herself to another plate of food, this time overflowing with caser salad and another buttered roll.

Ben casually walked up to join them, placing his warm wide palm on the small of her back, Rey unconsciously leaning into his touch.

 

“So after all that, he was just planning her 70th birthday! Can you believe it?” Rose said, obviously talking about the trip to Arizona.

 

“At least it all turned out alright.” Ben added in.

 

Eric nodded.

 

“How is my favorite group doing all huddled together being antisocial from all the other party guests?” Poe said loudly coming to join them a glass of champagne in each hand.

 

“Double fisting are we?” Rose asked with a playful smile.

 

“Pfft. If I was going to double fist anything, it would be vodka. You know that.” Poe pondered momentarily. “Or at the very least, Finn.”

 

As if on que, Finn walked up behind Rey and Ben.

 

“What are we doing to me?”

 

“Don’t ask.” Ben warned.

 

Poe looked back down at Rose.

 

“No, this is for you. I noticed you didn’t have a drink so I took the liberty and brought you one.” Poe said offering her the glass. Rose just stared at it with her mouth open fumbling for words.

 

Without warning, Eric grabbed the glass and knocked it back, emptying its contents and punctuating the last swallow with a grimace.

 

“Eric!” Rey said in disbelief.

 

“Dude.” Poe gestured towards the empty glass.

 

“You hate champagne.” Finn chimed in.

 

Everyone was staring at Eric waiting for an explanation.

 

“I was thirsty.” He shrugged.

 

Rey and Finn rolled their eyes as Poe just looked confused. Ben it seemed was content just watching this group of friends be themselves, still feeling like an outsider yet happy to be onlooker.

 

The five of them together were actually quite entertaining.

 

Ben couldn’t exactly name the feeling that bloomed inside his chest when he was around them all but it was something akin to familial which he tried to brush to the back of his mind.

 

“Did you try this caser yet?” Rey asked Rose.

 

“Uhm…Yeah! It was delicious.” Rose said a little quietly with a forced smile.

 

Poe looked down at Rose with a confused scowl. “No you didn’t. You had a small piece of salmon and a tiny bit of pasta that you didn’t even finish and then went into the kitchen and snuck about six pickles out of the refrigerator.”

 

“What you are, my parole officer?”

 

“No, I’m your friend who is wondering why you’re lying to your other friend about eating salad.” Poe said with suspicion.

 

Rose just stood there glaring at him.

 

“Rose, it’s your favorite, I can’t believe you haven’t eaten half the serving bowl by now.” Rey stabbed a few pieces of lettuce onto her fork and held it a few inches from her friend’s lips. “Here, try it.”

 

Rose backed up a few steps shaking her head.

 

“No, Rey. Maybe later.”

 

“What’s wrong with you? It’s just… salad.”

 

“I know but there is raw egg in the dressing!”

 

“So? You’ve eaten it a million times. Why all of a sudden are you refusing to eat raw—“

 

“Because you’re not supposed to eat raw eggs while you’re pregnant!” Rose admitted in frustration.

 

“Or drink champagne.” Eric said, eyeing Poe.

 

“What?!” Poe asked so loud the entire room suddenly got very quiet to see why their host was causing a scene.

 

“What?” Rey asked with a whisper, her eyes filling with tears.

 

Finn, who had disappeared to catch up with another party guest rushed back over to them. “What did I miss?” He asked, his eyes darting between all of them.

 

“Eric and Rose are—” Ben attempted to fill him in.

 

“Pregnant?” Rey asked, a huge smile spreading across her face. “You’re really pregnant?”

 

Rose’s face fell into a mask of pure happiness as she regarded her best friend. “I’m really pregnant.” She confirmed as Rey grabbed her in a bear hug so tight, she started to worry for her fetus.

 

“Just about 12 weeks.” Eric added. “We were going to wait until next week to tell you. Today was supposed to be about you two.”

 

Finn hugged Rose next, grazing her cheek with his palm. He too started to get emotional, fanning his face with his hands when he finally let her go.

 

Ben shook Eric’s hand in congratulations and Finn clapped him on the back to emphasize his excitement as Rey stood on her tiptoes to kiss Eric’s cheek.

 

They all looked at Poe who stood gaping at Rose, motionless.

 

“Poe? You alright?” Rose asked, reaching a hand out to his shoulder.

 

“Yeah I’m just…” He clenched his jaw. “I just can’t believe you guys are gonna have… I—I’m just....” Before they could prepare themselves, Poe hurled himself and wrapped his arms around Eric and Rose, ruffling Rose’s hair a bit before retracting back a few steps, sniffling slightly and averting his eyes.

 

“That’s awesome guys, congratulations.” He said with a soft smile, clearing his throat of emotion. “This calls for another round! Champagne for ev—“ Poe raised his voice addressing the room “CHAMPAGNE FOR EVERYONE!”

 

Poe turned to fetch another bottle from the make-shift bar in the corner of the room.

 

When he returned, Rey and Rose were talking excitedly as Poe filled up their glasses with a smile that matched that of the group.

 

Ben, to give them some space to celebrate privately, turned and made his way back outside suddenly feeling like more of an outsider than before.

 

 

***

 

A while later, Rey slipped out the back door to find Ben standing by himself looking out at the backyard. It had turned chilly and most of the guests had retreated inside. Rey rubbed her forearms and shivered slightly as she approached him.

 

“What are you doing out here by yourself?”

 

He regarded her sullenly.

 

“Just wanted to give you guys a moment to yourselves.”

 

“You could have stayed.”

 

“I didn’t want to intrude.” Ben said shaking his head and looking back toward the horizon which was starting to color slightly with hints of orange and pinks.

 

Rey stood next to him, mimicking his stance silently.

 

“I’m not used to this.” He finally admitted.

 

Rey turned to regard him.

 

“This friend thing… it’s… new.”

 

“They’re just people, Ben. All you have to do is be yourself.”

 

“That’s usually not the best approach. Being myself tends to drive others far away.”

 

Rey placed her hand in the crook of his elbow to turn him towards her.

 

“I’m still here. Aren’t you yourself with me?”

 

Ben stared at her, his eyes locked on hers.

 

“You’re different.”

 

“Why?” Rey asked, taking a step closer to him. Maybe it was because she was cold. Maybe it was because she couldn’t help it when he looked at her that way.

 

“Because, you’re my—“

 

Ben abruptly stopped and swallowed his words, turning back to stare at the setting sun.

 

She wasn’t sure what he was going to say and as she looked out at the horizon, Rey could feel tension and sadness radiating off of the man standing next to her. She could feel years of regret or fear or loneliness echo off of him and it made her heart hurt. This man was so much more than the picture he painted of himself.

 

Rey understood that when someone got deep into their feelings, it was difficult to bring them out of it by sympathizing or consoling.

 

So Rey, knowing the answer to take his mind off whatever plagued him at that moment, was to distract him… until he was ready.

 

“Maybe it’s simply because you can’t control that tongue of yours.”

 

Ben turned to stare incredulously at her, catching her hidden meaning and smirking.

 

“Now, now sweetheart.” He gently warned taking a few steps towards her and placing his hand low on her hip, pulling her in closer to him. “Judging from how eager you were this morning and last night, I think it might be _you_ who can’t seem to keep my tongue away from your—“

 

“I beg your pardon?”

 

Rey backed up a few steps and glared at him, heat swimming in her eyes but also felt liquid hot in her veins at the sound of his deep voice.

 

 

“You heard me.” Ben said, taking another step closer to her as she took another step back. “I think you _wanted_ me to find you like that last night.”

 

Rey opened her mouth to correct him, to yell at him and tell him he was wrong… but what could she say?

 

“You did, didn’t you? You’ve wanted me for a while, admit it.”

 

Rey marched up to him sticking her finger in his face.

 

“I’ll admit no such thing. I already told you what happened. The mood struck and I just went with it. I didn’t expect you to be home so soon. I admitted it was wrong and I apologized for violating your privacy but until _you_ walked in and offered to help me out, I was taking care of myself just fine!”

 

“In my bed.” He added. “And I’m sorry, I remember last night slightly differently. I distinctly remember you begging for my mouth. I didn’t offer you anything. You _asked_ me.”

 

Rey’s mouth fell open. “How dare you! I would never have _begged_ you for anything. You walked in, got so turned on that you couldn’t wait to put your head between my legs. If anybody is going to admit anything around here, it’ll be you. You’ve just been waiting for the opportunity to get me into a position where you could have your way with me.” She seethed.

 

“You seemed to put yourself in the position all by yourself, sweetheart.”

 

The nerve of him!

 

She wasn’t the one who wanted last night to happen. It had just… happened! He was the one who walked in on her and couldn’t help but touch her, talking to her in that voice of his, licking her, making her scream and moan and _clench_ and cry for more…

 

Right?

 

Ben was so close she suddenly felt hot despite the temperature and cool breeze that danced around them.

 

  
“Fine. Let’s just see who begs who next time, hmm? Because it _will not_ be me, Ben Solo.”

 

Rey turned on her heels to march back inside when a thick arm grabbed her by the middle pulling her tightly against him, his breath hot and rough on her neck from behind.

 

Ben nuzzled her neck with his nose, dragging it up until his lips reached her ear.

 

“The next time I go down on you, you’ll be crying ice-cream before I can even inhale the scent of you.” He kissed the shell of her ear. “And then, I’ll lick you clean after I make a mess of that pretty little cunt of yours.”

 

Heat flooded her core, a trickle of desire soaking her underwear as she clenched and shivered. Rey closed her eyes and willed her body not to respond to his words without much success.

 

She swallowed hard and untangled herself from his grasp.

 

“And it’ll be before we even leave the party.” He called after her before she could open the glass slider.

  

Rey glanced back at him, her eye brow quirking up with intrigue as if silently accepting his challenge.

 

“We’ll see.” She said before turning back around, walking into the house and closing the door behind her _knowing_ that his eyes were glued to the curve of her ass as she walked away.

 

 _‘Two could play at this_ game.’

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow. Hi. 
> 
> I am so stupid sorry, guys. As some of you might have heard on Twitter and in the comments, I've been dealing with some...ailments and have just been having the hardest time mustering the energy to write and edit.
> 
> Work has been really busy and I also had an unexpected work trip come up and yeah... I suck.
> 
> But I've been feeling a little better this past week hence the update.
> 
> I've also written half of chapter 15 as I couldn't stop the flow of thoughts after where I ended this chapter... my fingers just wanted to keep going. hehe #thatswhatreysaid
> 
> Anyway, pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease let me know how ya'll are doing and what you thought of the update. 
> 
> Do I have to say it?
> 
> Kudos=😎
> 
> Comments=🔥


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